Monday, March 2, 2009

I Hate Whining

I was gonna write about doubt but after reading it I erased it. Instead I'm gonna write about 2006.

Actually I think all this started in 2005. Just before I qualified for the Boston marathon at the Chicago Marathon in 2005, I ran a 5k. I did it just for fun. I ended up coming in 1st in my age group. 22:22. It was my fastest 5k. I was so excited I could have floated home.

Then something strange happened in 2006. Something to this day I'm still trying to figure out. (because I can never accept anything at face value) I podiumed in just about every race I ran. It was the strangest thing. I felt as if I had fallen into the Twight Light Zone of 40 something female running. Why would I feel this way? Because I've always run just for fun. I'm the person that starts in the back and just kind of goes. So to come in 1st, 2nd or 3rd in my a/g was kind of hard to grasp. Now understand that I kept it all in perspective, I knew it wasn't the world championships or the Olympics but it was still an accomplishment I never expected or for some reason ever felt comfortable with.

I miss it. I just miss running fast. The speed training. The tempo runs. The hill repeats. I loved going as fast as I could push myself.

I've been blessed with so much since having the kids. Am I selfish to want to be the fastest soccer mom on the block again?

It's tough accepting that right now 12 minute miles are as fast as it's gonna be.

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