Friday, March 5, 2010


Life is ....

I can't believe how quickly things can change.

Saturday I was worrying about our budget. Actually I wasn't worrying. I was feeling confident that we were on the right track and things were going to be fine.

Sunday I was worrying about what to cook for dinner for the week. Was I repeating Ham Mac n Cheese to close to each other? Did it matter casue the family loves it and it's quick and easy to cook.

Monday morning I learned what real worry was.

Scott was in the ER. His blood pressure was off the charts low, which is far from normal for him. The pain he was having in his left side was uncontrollable.

I knew what was happening and I feared the abosolute worst. I know the ER nurse did too. She repeatedly came into the room and told Scott not to move. "You have to try to be as still as possible".

After a CT scan it was confirmed that Scott had blood clots in his right upper lobe of his lung and left lower lobe. Dopplers on his legs showed he also had a clot in his left calf.

Helpless is a horrible feeling. Helpless can slow the minutes on a clock down to days. It can destroy the positive spirit in a blink. Helpless wanted to become my new best friend but I have deemed it my new enemy.

Helpless woke me up around 3:30 Tuesday morning. I got out of bed and sent emails to friends and then posted a message on FB asking for prayers. Some how I found comfort by doing this. I was able to pass my helpless feeling to all of you for just a short time and slept for and hour and half after I did this.

The kids are doing and being good. They miss there dad.

We are planning for Scott to come home this Monday. He will be on blood thinners for at least 6 months.