Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Gracie n Me

6:00 a.m.
I woke up Sunday with my heart pounding. I was supposed to meet Caroline and Dennis for a trail run.

6:05 a.m.
Gracie comes in and lays down with me. I stay with her until she falls back to sleep.

6:23 a.m.
I'm still on the computer looking at Facebook. Which I hate, there's way to much going on. So I know I'm stalling and not going for a run.

7:00 a.m.
Scott finds me in front of the T.V. Aren't you running? I just shake my head no. Why he asks and all I can say is I'm afraid because of my heart. He tells me not to be afraid and I just shake my head yes.

7:28 a.m.
I call Care and get her voice mail. I'm relieved and I leave a cheerful message saying I won't be there.

7:29 a.m.
I start thinking what if Care doesn't have her phone with her so I call Dennis. On the 3rd ring I realize he's going to pick up cause I could be his wife calling to say the baby is on the way. CRAP I think to myself. Sure enough he picks up. I start babbling out some excuse why I won't be there. He says something, I say something and start choking on my words. Tell him I gotta go and before he can say anything I hang up on him.

7:30 a.m.
Dennis calls me back. I don't answer. Yes, I know this looks bad, not answering. I was crying and Scott was there with me telling me it's ok. I think about calling Dennis back. I'm not crying anymore. I have the phone in my hand and he beats me to it. I answer and try to act calm and cool and tell him he needs to get off the phone his wife could be trying to call him. He asks if I'm ok and I choke up again and explain my fears. I tell him not to worry that I'll be kicking his ass down Lake Shore Drive this summer, I just gotta take things a little easy. (Sound familar?) No problem he says.

7:33 a.m.
I hang up and start crying again. This time because I know I have 2 really good friends.

12:15 p.m.
I want to run. I gotta run. Just take it slow. I have a new Sunday running partner now. My daughter Grace wants to come with me. :)
12:30 p.m.

We are out running and she tells me she wants to run to the hotels (which are the 4 story condos by our house) Ok, that's good. She makes it 2 miles. We stop occassionally. We walk and hold hands and talk nonsense talk.

1:00 p.m.
It was the best 2 mile warm up I've ever run.

1:05 p.m.
I'm running by myself. I try to pick up the pace just a little but pull back cause I can feel the heart just pounding. I'm able to get 5 more miles in.

3:30 p.m.
I check the Garmin. 7 miles in 1 hour 25 minutes. Average heart rate - 179. My first thought is that sucks.

I thought IMOO taught me to be kinder to myself. I was wrong. So, I'm going to take this whole thyroid thing and have it teach me the lesson again. The run really didn't suck. It was a beautiful afternoon. I have a new running partner. And, Doug always told me, it's the long, slow, steady runs that make you faster. Thankfully, he never defined slow.
Oh, don't forget - you still have a day and a half left to Shop n Share.

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