Thyroid Rollercoaster

"You will be feeling uncomfortable just a little while longer." the doc tells me Monday at my 10 a.m. appointment.

I went armed with a page full of questions - I had written my "unable to consentrate - why?" question twice. Jeez, what was that telling her.

Brought my heart rate monitor. I probably looked like an idiot wearing it in the waiting room. I didn't think to just put the transmitter, my Garmin 305, in my purse. I hate purses. Showed the doc how low my HR was now. It was 54 while we sat and talked. I complained for it being high, now it's to low. Stop the heart meds. She believes they are the culprit to the memory and the insomnia. She told me not to throw them away though. I may need them after the ablation.

So, I will ride this roller coaster for just a little longer. I hope. :) The thyroid ablation is scheduled for Thursday. GOD I'm hoping the radiologist has a good night sleep next Wednesday and things go as planned on Thursday. From what I have read and have been told things won't get back to normal over night but I'm seeing an end to this, well, eventually.

I'm trying to find humor in this experience. There have been some really funny things (they weren't funny at the time but they are now) that have happened. I'll try to get my thoughts together and share them with you soon.

I have a feeling this coming week the ride is gonna get really bumpy though, without the antithyriod meds and the heart meds. So if you see me and I don't say hello or do say some off the wall thing please don't take it personally. And there's a good chance the deep heavy sighing is gonna come back. I'm not bored with what you are saying. I'm just waiting for my turn to get off this crazy ride.

Moments of Clarity

I'm learning that there are certain things in life, everyday that you just can't control.

I'm a very controlling person. Not in the sense that I try to transform others into who I think they should be but in sense that my life should be a certain way. I should feel a certain way. If it's not, I'm not, then I can fix it. Well, there are some things you can't fix in a matter of minutes. It takes time. Weeks. Even months.

I'm having moments of clarity. When I say that I mean, there are times now when I actually feel normal. Like my old self. I've been avoiding people because my tolerance of just about anything is NONE.

I noticed about 10 days ago, while running from the car to the neighborhood Easter egg hunt that I was running. I was running and there was no chest pain or even rapid heart beat. I was cautious about having this good feeling. Sure enough by the afternoon something changed and things got fuzzy and I got crabby but it was then that I realized I couldn't control hyperthyroidism.

So now, I'm trying to just sit back and ride this bumpy ride of my life. And when the moments of clarity come I will enjoy and know that in time I will have more and more.

Oh, if you're wondering why the pictures of the kids. Well, I wanted to post them even though this post has nothing to do with what the pictures are about. When I'm thinking like I can tell a story (which many of you know I love to talk and tell things in great detail) I'll let you know what's going on. In the mean time, I'm sure most of you can make a pretty good guess.

Jittery

Ok, I was going to write about how we saw the Easter bunny Sunday. We ended up eating with the EB in our old high school. It was fun showing the kids pictures of their dad on the wall of fame. I loved watching my friend's daughters dance while we ate our breakfast. It was a great way to spend a snowy spring morning.

That's about all the detail my buzzing mind can muster up.



I'm not the stoic, stiff upper lip patient I would love to believe myself to be.


The jitters that accompany hyperthyroidism - SUCK. Thankfully Zak can't read yet or else he'd be spelling it to the class tomorrow.


Women reading think - P M S. Men reading think wives, daughters, co-workers with P M S.

I have a very understanding husband. I hope I don't damage my children or my friendships because bitchiness is oozing at an uncontrollable rate.


I won't say anymore. I'm going to go itch the skin off my back now.

Oh, you have one more day to Shop n Share. Now go. If you went, thank you.

It's Time to Shop, Again :)

It's time to Shop n Share again.

Here's the link to the website as well as the link to Jewels weekly sale ads.

http://www.michellesracetorecovery.com/

http://jewelosco.shoplocal.com/jewelosco/default.aspx?action=nuep&adref=jewel_osco_homepage

Hope you find some good bargains!

Ironman

I went to see Dennis's new baby. She's so cute. Look what he gave me. WOW. Now to many this is nothing more than a visor with words.

To me, well, it's more than that.

When I did IM Wisconsin Doug bought the group hats. For me, it was the glue that bonded us together. Well, I've just been glued, again.

I'll be honest, I have been leaning towards not doing the race. I guess my actions have been speaking louder than my thoughts because I've been training. Training like I'm gonna do it. Just not training with the intestity that I like to put into my workouts.

I'm scared. I have one heart. If I push myself to hard, the way I like to, well .... I know this thyroid thing is gonna pass, and the road to recovery is just a few short weeks away.

So, I'm taking things as slow as I can with the final goal - to be at the start line in Kentucky on race day.

Part of me thinks, I won't be doing my best but that's rubbish. Please remind me that I said that because on August 30th, in that moment, I will give it my all, the all that I have. And at the finish line I will see my friend Dennis and Caroline and anyone else who decides to stay up because it will be late. But I will finish in 17 hours.

Hey Dennis, this doesn't get you off the hook. I will pass you in an Ironman. The day will come when you either won't pass me on the bike or I will catch you on the run. Ah, I'm smiling just thinking about it. :)

CONGRATULATIONS MATTHEW!!!

For taking Team Illinois Freshman Sophmore/140 pound - State Wrestling Championship!!!

We're so proud of you! :)

Let the Madness Begin!

This is my year. It's been 10 years since I began the madness and this year, 2009, is my year to win it all.

I can feel it. I will pick the underdogs and the champions in the right order and I will be crowned the winner, finally, of Team T.E.A. March Madness.

It's gonna feel so good. I should just call the family now and tell them not to come. Why should the bother. :)