I'm a very controlling person. Not in the sense that I try to transform others into who I think they should be but in sense that my life should be a certain way. I should feel a certain way. If it's not, I'm not, then I can fix it. Well, there are some things you can't fix in a matter of minutes. It takes time. Weeks. Even months.
I'm having moments of clarity. When I say that I mean, there are times now when I actually feel normal. Like my old self. I've been avoiding people because my tolerance of just about anything is NONE.
I noticed about 10 days ago, while running from the car to the neighborhood Easter egg hunt that I was running. I was running and there was no chest pain or even rapid heart beat. I was cautious about having this good feeling. Sure enough by the afternoon something changed and things got fuzzy and I got crabby but it was then that I realized I couldn't control hyperthyroidism.
So now, I'm trying to just sit back and ride this bumpy ride of my life. And when the moments of clarity come I will enjoy and know that in time I will have more and more.
Oh, if you're wondering why the pictures of the kids. Well, I wanted to post them even though this post has nothing to do with what the pictures are about. When I'm thinking like I can tell a story (which many of you know I love to talk and tell things in great detail) I'll let you know what's going on. In the mean time, I'm sure most of you can make a pretty good guess.