Friday, June 12, 2009

No Ironman

I was faced with a difficult decision. Do I attempt to do the Ironman this August or do I scrap the whole thing. What to do .....

After talking to the doctor, talking to Scott and praying, I have decided not to participate in Louisville.

This was not an easy conclusion to reach. The cost of the race is expensive and the likely hood of getting any money back is slim to none. Although I have written a letter to the race director and am waiting to hear from him. Times are tough right now, my husband is the bread winner in our household. I spend, he earns, so to throw $575 out the window, even writing it sucks. Personally, I had a dream of racing this time around. I convinced myself in January that my rapid heart rate would turn into a "super heart" allowing me to recover quicker and faster there for making it much easier for me to race fast. Yes, I'm admitting this publicly. This obviously didn't happen. Getting thru a 2 hour bike ride or a 5 mile run is about tops on what I can handle.

But, I knew in my heart that there would be one person that no matter what I said about not doing it, no matter what the excuse - he wouldn't get it. He's a good friend and says he understands but I know him and I know he doesn't.

I know this is a mark on my record that will never be erased with him and I will be looked at differently. But this is what I know about my friend. See, I used the word friend and not my corny term "tri-mate" or even his really name. He's my friend. He can and will judge me but at the end of the day or race or decision, he will remain my friend. And he has.

This post isn't an attempt to turn the light bulb on over your head my friend and make you see why I'm choosing not to participate but rather it is a post telling you I get where your coming from. Keep sending me the inspirational comeback stories and messages. I will read them and learn from them. But I don't think I'm going to change my mind about this one. And the day will come when I am well rested and you will NEVER catch me on the bike and I will greet you at the finish line.

Train smart. Race safe.

2 comments:

Tom F. said...

Pam,
The money part is tough but there are plenty of races ahead. I hope you there when I get around to that IM

RunBubbaRun said...

See Pam,

I never rest so good luck trying to catch up to me :).

No matter what happens, what adventures we share or don't.

We are still BFF's.