All relationships have a love/hate factor.
I've been married for 22 years. My husband, who I love a little more each day, wouldn't deny that we have had our bad moments, our hate moments. We both agree if it weren't for what we learned from the bad times we would never have the good times.
I ran on Saturday afternoon. Only 4 miles. I was busy with stuff around the house but finally got my butt out there. It was a beautiful day. I was able to put my mind in a place that made the running easy. When I got home I was surprised the miles passed without me looking at my watch or thinking about how slow I was moving. It was a good feeling. Sunday I rode. I met up with Rick and Ken. It was really good seeing them. I was a little nervous getting out there with Ken leading. He insisted he was riding like himself but still managed to move very quickly. Once I found my rhythm, the groups rhythm didn't matter. I was really happy to be out there. Even with the wind and cold. Brrrrrrr, it was cold.
A couple of weeks ago I read Megan's blog. She wrote how her blog is more like an open diary for all to read. She beat me to it, describing blogging that way. I love writing this blog and I learn a lot from going back and reading it. I must admit though that it takes me forever to write a post. I write it, publish it then go back and edit it after I've thought about it a couple of hours later. I've changed this post twice already.
But I think I see the love/hate thing with my swimming, biking and running this year. I've complained a lot about my performance. After reading some of the post I'm surprised some of you have come back to see what I was complaining about for the next week. This year was filled with seething over my run at McNaughton, minor aches and pains, bad weather and being two pedal strokes back with my cycling. I got so busy with complaining that I lost the joy of just getting out there. There was the occasional glimpse of clarity and enjoyment but not enough to get me out there regularly. I let my expectation of what this year should have been take over what I could actually do. Wow, I didn't have to pay a therapist to come up with that one.
So, it's time to just enjoy. Enjoy the cold air that hit my face on Sunday. Enjoy the changing colors of the season. Enjoy the company that I get to ride, run and swim with and enjoy the solitude of being out there on my own. It's time that I learn and start to trust what I know and take each day as it comes and leave my expectations on a shelf for a while. It's time for me to fall in love again, with just moving.