Waves - again

It's hard to put thoughts into words sometimes.

This spring and now summer hasn't gone exactly the way I planned it in my head. I know I have written in the past about struggling with my workout program. Last winter I thought for sure I would cruising on my bike. Taking all the rides that I did last year and using them as a base, so this summer I would enjoy keeping up with the fast guys.

Life never goes as planned.

Just getting out of bed or getting out of an excuse to go and workout is difficult for me. Although I must say I am enjoying running again. And after Scott called me Friday night and said he was working Saturday morning, I was truly disappointed that I would miss the group swim/run. Thankfully Riley saved the day and came to my rescue by watching my kids. I was able to enjoy (well after 2 calls to Riley) my workout. The swim helped get rid of most of my separation anxiety and by the end of the run I was good.

Saturday night the hubby and I enjoyed a great dinner together. We talked and ate and ate and talked. I even had a Margaretta. We then watched No Country for Old Men. Violent is the best way to describe it. Oddly enough I liked it. Scott hated it. Wanted the bad guy to get it in the end.

Woke up Sunday. Got ready to ride with the group. Pumped my tires. Got my water cup on my bike, bottle in the holder. Wasn't looking forward to riding with the fast guys. Pedaled down my drive way and then the rains came. Turned around, rode back up my drive way and called Dennis. "Sorry, not coming, not riding in the rain." Went back in the house and back to bed. Woke up feeling depressed and really mad at myself for not going.

Caroline and I ended up riding 40 miles around 1:30 p.m. The sky was threatening and sure enough the rains came after about 20 miles of riding. I called Dennis and asked him if he was doing the rain dance so he could make a point that we wouldn't melt while riding out there. He just laughed. He told me how the group rode fast, really fast earlier that day. Part of me felt like I made the right decision but part of me felt like a real wus (is that how you spell wus?) for not trying. Last year I didn't care if the pack broke away from me, so why should I care this year?

Riding has turned into my waves on lake Michigan. I'm on the beach watching. Slowly making my way in.

I gotta stop the excuses and just go.