Kickstand Pam

10/4 - 734 Items!

2011-10-04T13:47:00.023-05:00

October 4th - We have a new total ..... 734!!! I am having a blast with this food drive. I get to see friends I haven't seen in so long. You know the kind of friends I'm talking about too. They hug for real not just a lean in and tap on the back hug.

I got to meet a friend that I've followed on FB/blog. Turns out she's a real hugger too!

Two interesting things in this picture - do you see them?

1. Ramen noodles in a Whole Foods bag - I could not stop laughing after your friend pointed that out. (By the way Ramen noodles are in huge demand at the TWC so thank you for giving them!)
2. There is a pay phone in the background. A payphone! I didn't know they still existed.

I've discovered that it's not important if OLIVES are a fruit or a vegetable but they are a finger food that is best served with a drink that some prefer shake'n not stirred.

The Raider's love to get to practice early, to run and slide thru the mud but when you label this a drill they will bring cans of food for the food drive to get out of it.

You have 10 days left to get food in for the Raiders Coach for a day contest! Who's gonna help the team score by calling an offensive series during the game on 10/14?!!! Who's it gonna be? Maybe it'll be me :)

Food Drive - Day 11

2011-09-27T09:59:00.008-05:00

11 days in and the grand total is ...... 231!!!!

Some things I've heard this week.

- - - - Me talking to my son Zak - - - -

Me: I need figure out a way to reach more people to give food.

Zak: I know mom, why don't you tell them you'll give them $1,000.

Me: Well, if I could do that then I wouldn't need to be collecting food.

Zak: Laughing, oh ya, let's keep thinking. :)

- - - - Me and Gracie after school - - - -

Gracie: We had our physical fitness drill today mom.

Me: How'd it go?

Gracie: Mom, I told myself if my mom can run 50 miles for food, I can run around the gym 35 times.

Me: ..... I couldn't could speak. She's either learned how to tell me what I want to hear or she is the little girl I hoped she would be. I'm going with the 2nd answer. :)

- - - - @ Church on Sunday - - - -

Scott and I were waiting for the kids to come out of the restroom before church on Sunday. We both stood mesmerized looking at the food donations that were coming in for the food drive at church. They have one every month. We give but never bother looking at all the donations. Sunday we both stood at the back of the entire collection of food. It was neatly categorized into cereals, pastas, soups, you get the idea. I kept thinking, that has to be what 3,000 looks like. Probably more. I caught a glimpse of our reflections in the glass, you would have thought we were kids on Christmas looking at all the presents under the Christmas tree.

Thanks to all who have donated. This is going to be a success because of you guys! Onward and upward!!!

A Lot's Been Happening

2011-09-21T07:22:00.015-05:00

Got my 1st donation yesterday!!! 24 cans of green beans from my friends Barbara and Jeff. And today a very generous donation from a friend from Minnesota's mom!

There is still more work to be done. A lot of work. Running the 50 miles is going to be easy. Part of me is thinking, why did I put it out there that I want to collect 3,001 cans and part of me is thinking I should have said I would collect more.

I have heard from so many people offering to donate not just food but their time and their energy. Initially I knew Caro would run a couple loops with me as well as TR and then the emails started to come in with friends saying they would run a loop and then the phone call from MJ. She's the president of Tri-Smart Triathlon club. She not only offered help with raising food but also informed me that the club will make sure I'm not out there running alone.

I visited Together We Cope yesterday and made a quick video of the director of the food pantry explaining who they serve.

I'm not Steven Spielberg so the quality of my video isn't what it could be but I think it gives a brief description as to who they serve and what their hours are. If you can't hear Carol, this is what she is saying ....

Together We Cope is located at 17010 South Oak Park Avenue, Tinley Park - our hours are Mon., Tues., Wed., and Fri. 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. and Thurs., 2 p.m. to 7 p.m. We service between 50 and 70 families a day and our boundaries are from 87th St. to the North, Western Ave. to the East, 183rd to the South and Will Cook Road to the West.

What isn't in the video but I asked about is this .... Are there any items of food that you may need more of than others .... Carol made it very clear that she will take ANY donation but there is a need for things like Peanut Butter, Jelly, Pasta, Noodles, Canned Soups, Ramen soups, Spaghetti Sauce, Rice, Canned Meats, Tuna, Beans and Cereal. These are all items that are filling and can make a semi-nutritious meal.

Did the math and figured - they service just about a 50 mile radius in the cook county area. Huh! Maybe next time I should plan to run the outer perimeter of their boundaries. Never mind, I have to concentrate on this time first.

Will Run For Food

2011-09-15T14:36:00.008-05:00

So, I'm sitting in church and we have a visiting pastor talking to us about world hunger. He's telling us how children are fed dirt to feel full because the soup kitchens and food pantries run out of food. I always cry when I hear this. Of course that's why we hear the story and that's what motivates us to donate to the cause.

I always pray and ask if there is more I can do. I feel like there is more but I just don't know what I can do to help. Right here. In Illinois.

A couple weeks back I ran a 50 miler. There was a man there, that ran, he raised 3,000 cans of food for his food pantry. Here's his blog, http://brandonmulnix.com/ you can read all about him. It's a pretty remarkable story. While I read it I started thinking, hey, there's another 50 miler coming up at the end of October. I'll run that and ask friends and family to help!

But something just didn't sit right with me and that decision. The 50 miler has a race entry fee of $75 right now and it's gonna jump in price in a couple of weeks. I kept thinking how can I ask anyone for food while I'm spending money on a race when instead I could be spending it on food to donate.

So I came up with the idea to run on my own. Let me make this perfectly clear. I'm just running 50 miles. This isn't a race. There's no website to go to check on this. I'm completely independent of any organization and this isn't an "organized event". I'm just trying to make a difference and not have it cost me or anyone else anything more than a couple of cans of food.

I plan on documenting this journey on FaceBook with pictures and updates of everyone who is giving. I plan on talking about this a lot because I think that's one of the best ways to spread the word. Heck, I talked about it to my teller at our bank yesterday and she's ready to help!

So, here goes nothing. I Will Run For Food - and I need you to come along with me. I need your food to help make a difference!

North Country Ultra

2011-09-01T06:22:00.011-05:00

Ok, I promise not to go on and on. You guys know me well enough now to know that I probably will get off track, but I will try my best to stick to the points of what I'm trying to say and not start talking about my kids or why hated what I ate for dinner when I was 9.

I'm being honest here ....

I signed up for this race thinking it was going to be easy. Yup, that's why I signed on. Why would I think a 50 mile run through the woods would be easy? This is why, "There is no high altitude to contend with, no rocks to jump over, and no stream crossing to wade through just beautiful forest with a few roots to remind you you're not on pavement." I took this quote right from the race website. When I attempted and failed McNaughton in 08 I wanted the toughest muddiest course out there. Bring it on I thought. I obviously wasn't thinking clearly and got just what I asked for. Well, this time I knew better. What I failed to read was the sentence just before the one that made me believe this would be a cake walk. It states .... "The trail is a single track hiking trail with enough hills to make for a challenging race." Um, note to self, read and re-read all material before clicking the send button on the race application.

No Excuses .... but here's one

I loved training for this race. LOVES is an understatement. I proudly made the best of the time that I had to train. My kids came with me on probably half of the long runs that I had. They rode their bikes while I trotted out the miles. We would sometimes stop at IHop or Dunkn Donuts. It was fun. Unfortunately there was little training on the trails. PLEASE NOTE - I'm not complaining!!! I do wish that I was able to get out there though. I think my falls would have been cut in half.

Falls? Did you says falls?

The 1st 25.5 miles I fell 4 times. I won't go into exaggerated detail like I FELL HARD. YOU COULD HEAR THE THUMP IN THE NEXT STATE. When running 50 miles and falling at mile 3 you're ego is put in check. The next fall, well the ego slowly begins to crumble. You see where I'm going with this right? On my second loop I didn't fall until after mile 35. And then, I think I fell 4 more times. I was tired at this point so my math may be off. My ego would tell you but I don't have one right now. It's rebuilding from all the falls I took.

Don't confuse tripping with falling, duh!

You're out there running, in the "woods". Trees are what make up the forest or "woods". It's a big beautiful forest. Dense. It was a hot sunny day but we were extremely sheltered from the sun because of this fact. A cool breeze would whisp through occassionally and remind all of us that there is a God and he just sent us a little gift. Oops, sorry I'm straying here. Well, tree roots are EVERYWHERE! At mile one I watched a man fall. Me trying to make lite of what just happened to him told him "well, at least you got that out of the way early". And just like that I tripped. Ok, note to self, keep your comments to yourself, even if you are trying to make someone feel better. And then I tripped again, and again and again. To the point where I thought I was tearing my left leg out of the hip joint. I would just find a good pace and boink, I'd stumble.

Yes, I did ask myself "What the hell am I doing out here?"

It was around mile 18. I was deflated. I had good, consistant training runs and even though my training wasn't on a trail but I felt like things should be going better than they were. The thought of doing a 2nd loop was killing me. Much to my surprise I kept the "I'm just not gonna do it, I'm gonna stop at 25" thoughts a bay. But I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that I paid money to feel this way. I was being physically and mentally beat'n up and I paid for it. I was doing something wrong and had to figure out what it was and turn it around.

Yes, that was me at mile 19 on my phone.

1st, I texted to my sister. It just made me feel better. Then I called my husband ....

Husband - hey, where are you?

Me - Around mile 19

Husband - what?

Me - mile 19

Husband - WHAT? Hey, I can't hear you!

Me - mile 19 (geesh)

and then he says ....

Husband - Pam, are you ok?

Me - yeah, I'm ok, I just needed to tell you that.

Husband - I love you, call me later.

Me - Good luck at your game. I love you.

And that's why I'm still married to him.

And the attitude started to change.

The following thought started going through my head ....

I paid for 17 and I'm gonna use 17. Actually I paid for 14 hours but the original statement is 17!!! I started doing the math in my head and I could walk, keeping a 20 minute pace and still finish the race. It would be close but I could finish. So that was my plan. At that point I thought I could feel the smile returning to my face.

You don't know what your miss'n!

A man ran by me around mile 25. I had past him earlier and he had been struggling. But now, he ran by just like he had just started running the race. As he's going by he said "man, if you passed up those blueberries back there, you don't know what you're missing." My ears rang. For 2 reasons. 1. For the most part I trained with cereal bars and dried fruit and bananas. Out here I was running on cereal bars and Gel. ??? Why I changed it up a little, who knows butI needed to go back to what I knew worked best for me. 2. Well, my dad died in April. We weren't close as adults. And when he passed away I was worried about feeling angry and bitter about not communicating as adults but thankfull I don't feel that way. I hear something someone says and it reminds me of him in good ways. "You don't know what you are missing" was one of his favorite sayings. And hearing it then well, it made me smile. I stopped smiling around mile 2 so if felt really good to smile again.

I'm still in the woods at mile 25?!?

I was shocked to see that I was still in the woods at mile 25. I was feeling good now but felt cheated. What the heck, where is everybody? What's going on. A half mile down the trail was where everyone was. At that point I was gonna change my socks and shoes, eat, maybe pee and head off again. Instead I got a piece of Bazooka bubble gum, some more gel and salt, filled my camel and started to head out. I was really feeling good, tired but good cause there were other runner there starting their 2nd loop. I didn't feel so alone or slow. Just as I'm leaving the aid station I hear the volunteer tell a man that those white things on the table are potatoes. WHAT, I almsot left without eating some salt and potatoes. I ate 2 and that was the best decision I made all day!

Yes, I run with music

Not all the time but today my plan was this - the 1st 25 miles are a warm up and the 2nd 25 are the race. May sound strange, a 25 mile warm up but that was the best way I could think of to mentally keep my self in the game. No matter how hard or bad the 1st loop was it was ok, cause it was just a warm up. But no music the 1st loop. That was my prize for finishing the 1st loop. So the minute I started the 2nd loop the ear buds went in and the music went on. It's funny cause when your tired you don't need it blasting. You just need to hear it. And it was like angels singing to me. The potatoes were kicking in, the salt the water and the music. Life was good. So good that for the next 6 or 7 miles I felt like I just started. Not kidding. I was laughing (probably sounding a little crazy out there laughing and running) but I just felt that good that it was just falling out of my mouth. Hey, just thought better that falling than me to the ground. At the aid stations I would fill up with water and any natural food item they had. Every hour that would pass I would take salt. I was thinking this 2nd loop would be a breeze. And then, well, not so fast there trail baz'n Pam ....

Why did I start thinking about time?

I stopped thinking about the music, the scenery, my life and the kids and started thinking that I'm feeling so good I just might subsplit my second loop. And then .... thump! Yup, I fell. Right then I told myself get all thoughts of time and speed out of your head and enjoy. And I did. Until ....

NEVER TURN AWAY HELP!

I went to take my next round of salt tabs and found myself sucking the last bit of water out of my camel. How the hell that happened I am clueless cause I was taking care of every detail like a mother takes care of her children. But it did happen and I was high and dry without water for about a mile and a half. At this point I was jocking with a really nice man who came out behind me and wanted to know if I decided to take a quick nap. We were throwing these kinds of comments out to each other each time we passed, it was pretty funny. Anyway I told him about my water situation and he kindly offered me one of his bottles!!! And what did I do? In all my politeness? Said no thank you, water is ONLY a mile and a half away. With that he offered it again and told me he had plenty and for some reason, maybe dehydration was starting to set in at this point I turned him down again. So off he went. About a half mile after that I realized that it would be really stupid for me to run and dehydrate anymore than I was. I walked about a mile to the aid station filled up, drank a couple of cups and off I went.

Lesson learned, I will never turn down help again.

The Hubby Tells Me I don't have Rhythm but What I Thought I Had Was Lost After That.

My good feeling was gone. I was stumbling again and falling occasionally. I jockeyed with the same group of people until the aid station at mile 37 it was there I started to think that I had to keep my own pace and not worry about keeping up with others. My goal was to finish and God forbid I'm running, stumble, fall, break something and don't finish with only a mile to go. So I would run the flats and walk the hills. Mile 42 I was feeling tired, sore, sad - well not sad but emotional so yeah, kind of sad. It was then I decided to just walk. I kept about 15 minute mile pace for the next 7 miles. I talked to everyone that passed me and honestly, I was feeling good. I wasn't thinking clearly though cause in my mind I was just gonna make the deadline. I was actually gonna finish about an hour and a half before the cut off.

Where the Streets Have No Name

There was a mile and a half left. The smile on my face was huge. Like I was trying not to smile cause it was annoying me that it was so big. There were 2 women about 50 yrds ahead of me and a man about 25 yrds behind me. Having them there was very comforting for some reason. Until, I started to cry. Yup, it was an ugly cry too. Cause the smile was still on my face. I was thinking about my 1st 50 mile attempt, I thought about the Graves disease and how I couldn't run, I thought how I truly believed I would never run again and that I needed to find other interests to fill my time and I thought about how glad I was that I was wrong. That I am running again. It was a long, slow journey back but I'm here. I'm running. And then I hear the beginning of the U2 song, Where the Streets Have No Name. How did I time that so perfectly? It was time to run. I know this sounds to fairy tale to believe but just like a movie the song starts playing and I start running. I pass the 2 women in front of me and I remind myself not to fast, you don't want to fall. The tears are gone. I'm just smiling my big old smile. It's a great feeling. The sun is going down, Bono is sining in my ear, I'm heading toward the opening of the forest to the finish line. People are cheering, I choke a little but still smile, what an amazing finish .... until .... wait, hey, where is the finish. Yes, I managed to mess up my movie perfect ending with getting lost on my way to the finish line. Granted it was only a couple of steps in the wrong direction, I was going back to the 25.5 mile turn around while the finish was just right of that. DOH! My mistake managed to slow me down enough for me to know I wasn't going to trip or fall over the line. I was done. I did it. 12:35.09.

BLING - Now that's some bling!

I did this race with my good friend Dennis. He finished about 25 minutes ahead of me. Maybe I'll get him next time. :) But one of the things he talked about for this race was the size of the finishers medal. And honestly, it was HUGE! It made me laugh when they put it around my neck. Now, this may sound strange to some but I don't like finisher medals. Sorry Jeff, if you are reading this, you have a wonderful business and I know you bring so much joy to so many with your medals but I just have this quirky oposition to them. Well, I did. Not anymore. You see, I left my medal somewhere at the race. I was talking to so many people when I finished and changing my clothes and packing the car and waiting for the drop bag and eating that I lost track of my dinner plate size medal. The medal I thought I didn't want, well it turns out I wish I had it. I wrote the race director. I know he's busy but almost a week later I still haven't heard from him. Crossing my fingers he answers me soon. :)

Really - 2010 is Over?

2010-12-29T19:12:00.022-06:00

Crap, I mean Holy Smokes! I mean what just happened here?

The year is gone. Over. Done with.

Memories I Would Like to Leave in 2010

Scott's blood clot(s) and the 24 hours between finding him in the front room and him lying in the hospital.

Showing up an hour late for Gracie's dance recital rehearsal and hearing her little friend innocently ask Grace "what happened, why weren't you here?"

Stomping like a child up and down my stairs cause I just didn't want to go back to work.

Memories I think Others Can learn From Including Me

I'm getting ready to pick Scott up from the hospital last February and my doc calls me and tells me to come by the office and pick up some lab results and radiology films to get a second opinion. As soon as I hang up the phone rings, it's the school, Gracie's puking I need to go get her. I pick her up, head to my doc, pick up my stuff, stop for gas on the way to the hospital. I don't have the debit card so I run in to pay with cash. I do my best to figure out how much to pay but my mind isn't working at this point and tell the cashier that I want 10 gallons, could she please help me. She politely smiles and starts to help but we are interrupted by a woman who tells the cashier that she only needs $10 and she doesn't have time for this. So, the cashier asks what pump she's on. She pauses and looks at the cashier, then at me, then at her car, then leans back and looks and hums, (clocks ticking) Reactively I start laughing. Cause she was in such a big hurry she forgot to check her pump. The cashier thought she was gonna just lay me out. Right there. But I couldn't help it, the laugh just fell out of my mouth. Sometimes life isn't what it seems. Sometimes life isn't all about you. For all I know the lady was in a hurry because her mom was dying and she only had an hour left to be with her.

When you think you should call some one to support them, you should. The morning of blood clot drama I was beside myself. Scott's mom had just left the hospital and we were waiting for Scott to go down to radiology when my phone rang. I felt an overwhelming sense of relief when I saw Laura's name on my phone. I tearfully said hello and she strongly asked what happened. I don't remember much else other than I felt safe. It was comforting to talk to her. So if you think you should call or run over or make a meal or just send a note or email or text, do it. Don't hesitate.

Did You Mean Kristin or Kristin?

Okay, God does have a sense of humor. How do I know? Well, I'm in my mid 40's and he blesses me in the same year with 2 friends that have the same name. Try having a dinner conversation with your husband and explain you just ran with Kristin and you are going swimming with Kristin on Saturday, oh and you wanna hear what Kristin told me .....

Funny Things I've Heard?

There's just not enough space to write everything Zak has said.

RATS

"Mom, I wrote you down as my hero at school". "Gracie, thank you so much. I love you." Gracie, "Well, I couldn't think of anyone else so put you."

Dying from heat on a Saturday run on the lakefront. Caro and I are half way done and seeing Kristin jogging alone. Yelling to her and then waving and she yells back ..... "You crazy bitches, how'd you get in front of me?" The girls next us at the fountain burst out laughing. Caro and I are laughing. Ok, maybe you had to be there. It really was funny.

"I paid for 17 and that's what I'm doing." Gotta love it Kristin :)

"Are you girls really riding in this heat?" A Broadview police officer after a ride on a July lunch break. I thought he was talking to someone else, like girls. I literally looked around for 2 other girls riding their bikes until I realized he was talking to me.

UNCLE. Not so funny then but funny now.

"Hey, are you 2 sisters?" "Are you models"? I think he thought our padded bike shorts weren't padded bike shorts.

"Who's coach Troy?" I asked Caroline. "You have got to turn off those reality t.v. shows and start doing the spinnervals!"

"Just go in back and start swimming. I set it up for you. I even moved the trampoline over to the edge of the pool so the kids can just jump right in." I panicked for nothing and the kids had a blast :) Thank you Jeff and Barbara.

Didn't hear this but thinking about swimming in total darkness @ 5:30 in the morning, in the rain, staying as close to Dennis's feet at possible. It was the longest swim ever! Going back the shore was better cause th sun came up. And yes, Dennis beat me in UGH!

If There Was Ever A Time to Say Thank You

I really am not gonna say it now. I'll say it when my time is done and I don't go back. But I am trying to think of the best way, if there is one, to say thank you to my colleague's at work. I was scattered much of the springtime. My thoughts were all over but the support I recieved from 5 strangers, who only knew me for all of 4 weeks before my life started spinning, is difficult to put into words. What will be more difficult is saying goodbye.

Dirtiest Kids in Chicagoland!

I was so close. Thanks to everyone who voted. Looks like I'm gonna have to save my money to get to Louisville.

2 Books

Much to my complete and total surprise I read 2 books this year.

4 Agreements (self help)

Comeback (non-fiction)

I think both of them can make you a better person. Maybe next year I'll read 3 books. If you're a betting man, bet against what I just said.

Did I Really Just Say That?

So our school cut it's full time nurse to a part-time position. 4 hours a day. Both of our children have chronic asthma and our son has a peanut allergy. Without getting into long details Scott and I found ourselves at some school board meetings at the end of spring.

School board meetings are a process every tax payer should go through. Find the time. Go.

I thought the board had no money for a nurse. Then realized there was a surplus. After doing a lot of research on line about having a nurse in the school as opposed to not having one. Which was kind of a waste of time cause there isn't much out there. I also talked to a lot of people in the community, including our Park District, which doesn't not have a nurse on staff at all programs because it just won't be cost effective. I reached the conclusion that a part time nurse would be appropriate.

Here's where it got really foggy for me. The board approved a part time nurse in March 6-1. In May, after a petition was signed that the parents wanted the issue readdressed, the board president agreed to increase the nurse's 4 hour day to 6 1/2 hours. This meant that a nurse would be present the entire time the children would be at school. She would still be considered part-time and paid without benefits. I'm thinking cool, that's just like me. I'm working part-time and not being paid benefits. If I needed benefits I would apply for a job that pays them. Right?

Some of the board members that agreed to a part-time nurse voted against the new part-time nurse.

So, in all my wisdom (anger) I made a complete ass of myself and confronted the board members by name after the vote. I went as far as to say that they had the nurse's best interest at heart and not the children of the school. I just wanted to know why they flip flopped. It still doesn't make sense. But I was out of line and spoke up at an inappropriate time. I now know that this is something that should have been done after the meeting not during.

I must say, and I do believe this with all my heart, all the members of our school board work hard. Heck, I was exhausted just going to 3 meetings. They go to meetings at least once a month to fight for what they believe is best for the school. They do this on their own time/dime.

My final thought. It was the first time in my life I felt like a republican. Did I just write that?

The Secret of Life

I think I discovered one of the secrets to life.

We can't do it alone. We aren't meant to be here and go through it by ourselves. We have to interact. Talk, laugh, cry and just be with each other. Help each other. Piss each other off. Comfort each other. Learn from one another. You get what I'm trying to say here.

I am looking forward to 2011. It's gonna be a good year.

The Beginning of My 46th Year .....

2010-09-05T11:15:00.030-05:00

Woke up at 2 a.m.
Found our "house guest" Mickey crying in the trap in the middle of our family room at 2:25 - as I'm leaving for my triathlon.
2:26 Wake up the hubby and tell him about Mickey and he (I'm not being sarcastic) happily gets up from bed and goes down stair to escort our guest back home to the field behind our house.
2:28, my purse isn't in the car.
2:30, Friends arrive. They got out of their warm beds to drive down and watch me race. I hang with a great bunch of girls don't I?
2:47, my purse is behind the couch cushion in the front room.
2:51, hubby kisses me good bye, does the chicken dance and tells me to just have fun. Can you feel the love.
3 - drink water, 3:30 more water, 4.m. - more water, you see the pattern here ....
5 - call the girls to tell them I need to pull over to the rest stop that's coming up - 2 miles ahead.
5:03 a.m. - I'm shaking my fist at the barricades and the closed sign over the rest stop. Total. Complete. Tease.
5:15 - stop at a gas station about 20 mins from the tri start. Use the washroom, feeling nervous, am so glad Kristin and Caro are there.
5:51 - Dennis calls. Happy Birthday! Are you nervous? Don't be. You're ready.

6:3? - Chip's on, bike's racked. Air is cool. Sun is up. It's almost time.
6:47 - My mom calls - Happy Birthday. I'm so blessed that she is alive, she is healthy.
7:03 - I hesitate for some reason during the start. I'm overwhelmed. I'm going to race this race. Leave it all out there. Save nothing when I cross the finish. My day has arrived. It's my turn.
7:?? - I'm swimming out and see the orange buoy off in the distance. Huh, why is it way over there.
Swim some more, huh, why did the race director put the orange buoy over there?
Swim more and a swimmer cuts across me and then, not 4 minutes before but then I realize I am about 20 yrs out from where I need to be DOH!!!!
7:?? - Swimming on course. Minding my own business when I .... um ..... violate another swimmer. He wasn't wearing a wetsuit. He did have on tri shorts. The freakish accident did make me swim a little faster ..... eweee.
7:42? - I'm out of the water. It feels great. Check the watch 0:42. Well, can't get mad. Keep on going .....
7:42.33 - High five Kristin and Caro
time check ??? - on the bike, somewhere between loving this and hating it, the hate creeps in and takes over.
??? - realize this is exactly where I want to be. Bye, bye hate. No place other than right here, right now. Life is good. Thank you GOD.
??? - I am completely surprised at the sight of a tramp stamp, on a man. It's not everyday you see one on a man now is it. Nice distraction.
See a white catapilar. Not blonde or light brown but white. Actually saw several of them. It's funny what you notice at 16 mph ;)
??? - Jockey with a group - Army jersey - 28 a/g, red tri top girl - 33 a/g, colorful bike shirt man - ?, and me. We encourage each other each time one passes the other.

T2 - Finally off the bike, time to run. Very cute young man wishes me happy birthday! Hey, how does he know. Then I see him talking with Kristin! She is a stitch. She's wearing her Warrior Dash hat now.
Leaving T2 - I hear chants from K and Caro - keeps me smiling even though I wanted to puke. For really, I was feeling like I was gonna lose all my mango and 48 ounces of water.
Run time??? - It's tough out there. Red tri top girl passes me around mile 1.5. She looks awesome. I want that feeling.
???? - "TOOT TOOT, go go, BEEP BEEP" it wasn't Donna Summers singing or a train going by, and I couldn't blame the runners in front or behind me. My stomach wasn't settling down!
??? - Turn around for my 2nd loop on the run when this little dog, on a long leash, starts jumping on me. Where did he come from? His owner is yelling at me not to be scared. WHAT?!
Run time ??? - I high 5 Red Tri top girl one more time. She's heading home. She's about a mile in front of me now.
Run time??? - K and Caro are cheering and yelling for me. I'm finishing. I'm crying just a little.
Post Race - I'm feeling happy. Over the moon. I raced. I left it all out there. A lot of it in gas form :) I'm disappointed with my time. It doesn't reflect what I know I'm capable of but I'm happy because I did it. I'm done. HR was good. Support was awesome. I cry, I laugh. I'm blessed.
PR - K and Caro sing Happy Birthday at a picnic table by the lake. We eat a giant chocolate chip cookie. MMMMMM. The sun is shining. There is a cool breeze. (OK is was really windy but this is my birthday rendition of the truth so today it was a cool breeze) And we laugh, and laugh and laugh some more about the day.

Honey

2010-09-03T09:00:00.009-05:00

Honey, honey, honey ....

I used to hear about the medicinal effects of honey. Having the kind of allergies I have people tend to throw all kinds of home remedies at me. After trying many as a child I became sceptical of all of them. I would do my best to politely listen to what ever "wonder power, super food or powder or air machine" the person believed in but would toss the idea far back in the closet of my mind.

Scott loves local honey with the honey comb in it. Every fall at at the Frankfort Fall fest I go buy him a couple of jars. S & S Apiaries, on south outer boarder of the all the vendors, right next to a jewelry dealer. Please, if you go, leave a couple of jars for me. :)

OK, so after the whole Graves disease thing I decide I need to change my eating habits. For real this time. I started eating Greek yogurt. I liked it, kind of. The health benefits for eating Greek yogurt apposed to the regular stuff is 2 fold. Most regular stuff is high in fat and carbs. Even the plain flavor. So for a little more money I was buying the large plain Greek stuff. Choking it down was tough, think sour cream. So, I'm riffling thru the cabinets to find something to change the flavor of this stuff and find the local honey. You know what happened next. A table spoon a day with a cup of Greek yogurt. It became addicting! Thankfully Scott forgot we had the honey and I had 2 full jars of it. I ate it all winter and spring. I ran out of it by May but I think the affects of eating had been set in place.

It was a tough allergy season, I barely felt it. Poor Zak really suffered through it. To the point that he was placed on a steroid nasal spray. At first I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so good and he wasn't. Then I remember the honey and how several people over the years suggested that I try it. Wish dust mites created something we could eat ;)

So, if you're suffering with spring and fall allergies I suggest you give a tablespoon of honey a day a try. It has to be locally grown honey, not the store bought stuff. Believe it or not there is a difference in taste. Trying it just might keep you from having to take those over the counter meds that claim they don't make you drowsy when they really do. Oh, one more thing, if you are allergic to bees don't eat the honey. It's likely you will have an allergic reaction. Also, if you get the honey with the comb, be aware that a bee stinger or 2 could be in the comb.

Near Death of a ......

2010-08-05T07:25:00.014-05:00

I can't sleep. I'm using this post as my therapy. So, as dramatic as I write this, it's how I'm feeling. I'm putting my husband in the middle because I believe that's my way of sneaking the cause of my insomnia into the post. So, I'm actually avoiding but putting it out there all at the same time.

Near Death of a Stay at Home Mom

Since having the kids I have not wanted to go back to work. Thankfully Scott and I have been blessed with being able to save and make our bills on his salary. But when we found out he needed his hip replaced sooner than later we both felt it would be wise for me to find something.

Some how, just like a snap of a finger, I found a job. Life isn't supposed to be that easy but it was. Now, don't misunderstand me. It's not like I went skipping down the street picking daisies I was so happy I had a job. I was grateful but not happy cause my life was changing. And I don't do change very well. But surprisingly. I handled it. Scott only felt my wrath, anger, immaturity, childish stomping up the steps, for a couple of days.

I was able to start working gradually. Yes, you are reading this correctly. Gradually. Short days at 1st. 4 hours, then home in time to get the kids from school. After the surgery when Scott was home, I started working full time. Oh, and while Scott was in the hospital both times, I was off, with him, 24 7. Please don't think for a second that I don't know how good I have it. Cause I do know. It was still difficult for me to let go of a life that I loved so much. But change is good. No matter how much I hate it.

Near Death of ......

I can't write his name. I don't want to but like I said at the beginning of this post, I'm not sleeping. And as light as I'm trying to keep this post what happened those during the 24 hours on March 1st and the next couple of days, well, I think it's affecting me now.

I found Scott in the front room early March 1st. He was leaning on his cane, gasping for air. I knew what it was. I also knew that time was not longer my friend. All I could think about was getting him to the hospital. And when I asked him if he wanted to go and he responded yes, well, I moved as quickly as I could.

My sister came and to watch the kids. This is so hard to write. It was dark out. We got to the hospital and no one was there. Scott walked in, registered, walked to the waiting area, was called right away, walked to his bay in the ER. All this walking. I didn't like it. When the ER nurse, who by the way turned into Scott's angel, started taking his history, her face completely changed the minute she found out about the hip surgery. Everything stopped. The "nice nurse" went out and the "Houston we have a problem nurse" checked in.

After a chest x-ray was taken the ER doc came in and got right in Scott's face to tell him he had several blood clots in his lungs and that he was very sick. He went on to tell him that his doctor had been paged to find out what needed to be done next. WHAT! Ok, someone still needs to explain this to me ..... what the hell was that doc waiting for?

At this point I paced. Then I called Scott's mom. I didn't want to but what could have happened to Scott, well, she needed to be there. Then I paced some more. I walked from one end of Scott's bay to the other. The alarms on his monitors wouldn't shut up. His blood pressure was playing pinball. One minute up then down then up, up, up then way down. The beeping was starting to drive me insane.

The angel nurse finally came and gave Scott some pain medication. I think it worked the second it went into his IV. The medicine was working but I felt helpless, useless and any other word you can think of to describe what you feel when you can't help the one you love most. Ok, God forgive me but I think at one point I did go to his side and say "see, I told you this would happen - see - you should have gone to see the doctor as soon as this started 2 days ago". But Scott didn't hear me. Why I thought saying that would make me feel better I don't know. Cause it didn't. I still felt helpless.

Shortly after Scott's mom arrived, with his niece, Scott was moved to a room. His pain meds were starting to wear off and we no longer had his angel with us. There was shift change at the hospital. If any nurse is reading this, completely respect your profession but the run around I got trying to get him some more pain meds was unexcuseable behavior. I understand paper work needs to be done and nobody wants to have to fill out a couple more pieces of paper when they are leaving BUT don't blow people off. Don't tell a family member someone is coming when no one is. Don't say so and so is taking care of it when so and so said you would take care of it.

The Scott's doc finally came in around 5 hours after we got to the hospital. His doc is a no holds barred kind of, tell it like it is, no time for bedside manner, doc. Which is why Scott respects him. We were sitting at the end of the bed and he walks to Scott immediately and adjusts the position of the bed. Then he starts talking about what is happening. He just blurts out that this could have killed him and as long as there is no blood clot in the leg, which he didn't think there was, then he was going to be fine. I looked at Scott's mom. Then I looked at the doc and thought "you fucking idiot. That's your patient's mother. Did you hear what you just said? What the hell is the matter with you?" I will never forget the look on her face. She sat silent for a long time after that. She just sat. It was almost as painful seeing her sit than it was seeing Scott laying there.

Scott's mom left when they took Scott for the doppler of his legs. Things looked like they were going to be fine. The doppler did show he had a clot in the left calf. It was small though and the drugs should break it up.

I didn't want to leave that night. The nurse came in and told me I could stay but she said I would probably be better off going home. They had my number and would call me if anything changed.

I cried on the way to my car.

The kids slept with me. I didn't tell them how sick their dad was. After all, the doc told me he was going to get better now. For some reason I set my alarm. 5:30, it goes off to John Mayer's Heart Break Warfare. That song can sound so haunting. It is still very hard for me to listen to.

I stopped setting my alarm after that. I still don't set it.

I wake up without an alarm. I don't sleep past 4:30 but I won't get out of bed until 5. I think I can stop writing about this now.

Near Death of a Triathlete ....

After the Graves disease I thought I was done with running and triathlons. The heart rate thing took a long time to get under control. Eventually it did get under control. Then the psychological irrational heart rate started. I signed on for the Palos half and was so excited and so ready to do it. The morning of the race the HR average was 108. I wasn't even running yet. The average during the run 177, my maximum during the race didn't even register, it was that high. Some say 177 - heck that's my average. Well, for a 9:30 minute mile pace 177 average, for me that S U C K S! It wasn't like that when I trained. It was the fact I was in a race that was making it go crazy. I couldn't run like this. I was going to give myself a heart attack for no other reason than I was overly excited about running in a race again.

Dennis talked me into doing a triathlon at the beginning of June. I was hesitant but decided to try and see what happened. I wasn't swimming because I had no time, because of work but I was getting in some running and some bike time.

The HR stayed in check until I got the water to start. Then, it went crazy. My friend Kristin was dancing and singing and preparing for the swim and I stood there with my hands folded at my chest, praying.

The start was a disaster. All I could think was what the hell was I doing here. Again, time was not my friend. I picked my head up from the water and found a kayak. I was going to swim to the kayak, quit, get out the water, throw my wetsuit away and never ever try to race again. Yes, DRAMA. Just getting to the kayak was difficult. Then, that damn kayak moved while I was trying to swim to it. Thankfully, during that time, I was able to find a rhythm. The drama left and the desire to quit faded, slowly, as slowly as it took to finish the swim. But I did finish the swim.

Saw Kristin in bike transition. She could have gone but for some reason she didn't. She waited for me. Then she stayed with me the entire ride. She was so ready to just blow away from me There were times she would pull ahead, about a 1/2 block but then she would wait for me. While riding she was cheering athletes on as we passed them. So I joined her cheering.

Strangely I started having a good time. I stopped trying to race so I stopped beating myself up, I was now participating and enjoying it. My desire to quit was like a memory from years ago. The run was dare I say it ..... fun :). We managed to trot out about 9:30 min. miles and finished together.

I will forever be grateful to Kristin for sharing that day with me. She didn't have to but she did. My heart rate was beautiful. It averaged 154 bpm. The trick to returning to triathlons and running events - participate, don't race.

Fragile

2010-03-05T09:17:00.005-06:00

Life is ....

I can't believe how quickly things can change.

Saturday I was worrying about our budget. Actually I wasn't worrying. I was feeling confident that we were on the right track and things were going to be fine.

Sunday I was worrying about what to cook for dinner for the week. Was I repeating Ham Mac n Cheese to close to each other? Did it matter casue the family loves it and it's quick and easy to cook.

Monday morning I learned what real worry was.

Scott was in the ER. His blood pressure was off the charts low, which is far from normal for him. The pain he was having in his left side was uncontrollable.

I knew what was happening and I feared the abosolute worst. I know the ER nurse did too. She repeatedly came into the room and told Scott not to move. "You have to try to be as still as possible".

After a CT scan it was confirmed that Scott had blood clots in his right upper lobe of his lung and left lower lobe. Dopplers on his legs showed he also had a clot in his left calf.

Helpless is a horrible feeling. Helpless can slow the minutes on a clock down to days. It can destroy the positive spirit in a blink. Helpless wanted to become my new best friend but I have deemed it my new enemy.

Helpless woke me up around 3:30 Tuesday morning. I got out of bed and sent emails to friends and then posted a message on FB asking for prayers. Some how I found comfort by doing this. I was able to pass my helpless feeling to all of you for just a short time and slept for and hour and half after I did this.

The kids are doing and being good. They miss there dad.

We are planning for Scott to come home this Monday. He will be on blood thinners for at least 6 months.

The Train is Leaving the Station but I Won't Be On It

2010-01-28T19:27:00.009-06:00

Times are a change'n.

I hate change.

Well, most of the time.

I left the work force 7 years ago after my kids were born. 7 years almost to the day I left I started working again.

The hubby is having hip surgery and will be off of work for a while. We have a nestegg but it would be absolutely ridiculous to spend all of it if we didn't have too.

So, hi ho, hi ho, it's off to a part time temp job I go. A job that is very flexible and one that I'm enjoying.

On another note. There is more change a brew'n.

Tri club. New Tri club. Which is a good thing. The folks in the southern burbs of Chicago have been wanting a club with precise direction for a while now, like 5 years, for a while now. "Now" has come.

I was flattered when I was told that I was nominated for the "secretary" role in the club (that I did tell the president I would be interested in). But had to turn the offer down. There is to much going on right now and the attention that the club deserves isn't something I can give it. Right now, things are going to do nothing but get better for the Tri-Smart club.

But part of me feels like my tri-mates are getting on a train and I am watching them ride away. I keep telling myself I'll drive to the destination and meet up with them. I hope so.

I'm tired. All this change. The kids look like they get bigger every other week. I'm getting older. So, things have changed. Again.

And one more thing. It was nice to see you at the track Keri. You look good.

2009

2009-12-31T09:21:00.006-06:00

B - bye.

Good Riddance.

Adios.

Smell ya later.

Ok, it wasn't that bad.

I would like to write about what I learned and how much stronger I am from it but - crap - I'm just not in the mood. Quite honestly, I would only be repeating everything I've written over the last 12 months.

Here's some pics of what my year was like. Thank you for stopping by and reading. I look forward to sharing 2010 with you.

So, why would I put up a picture of Valerie Bertinelli on my blog? .... I don't know if it was a lack of training or the hormones from the thyroid or what but I suddenly developed, um, how can I say it without embaressing myself ..... I guess I just did.

One night I'm putting laundry away and Zak walks into my room holding this magazine and says to me, "Mom, did you know you were growing these?" and points right to her chest.

I think Zak is going to be a boob man.

I still can not eat French Onion soup. I miss you French Onion soup. :(

There are certain phone calls we never want to get. The loved one in a car accident, the hubby in a bar fight - bring bail money, or my favorite, your six year old son is dropping the F-bomb in school.

Over spring break I brought the kids to Legoland. They had fun but this was a time I was at the peak of hormone overload and my patience were non-existent.

Can you figure out what's missing from this model of Navy Pier?....

This little boy has know idea just how close he came to being beaten bloody.

Yes, this little green box - or lack of 16 little boxes almost caused me a heart attack on Duathlon Day. Thanks to My Bike of Tinley Park and the Tinley Park Fire Department a complete catastrophe was averted. I hate Wilson rental.

The kids learned to ride 2 wheelers this summer .....

and

got to visit daddy at work.

The family took a trip to Ohio

and

I took a trip to Louisville.

I had to say goodbye to my beautiful friend .

I was blessed to be included in a new life.

I danced and sang like a teenager with my sister at the Bruce Springsteen concert in September ....

and

we relived our teenage years during our summer walks to 7 - 11 for sluperees and twix bars.

What is scarier ..... being 16 and pregnant or 45 and pregnant? Hmmm ......

We'll never know what's scarier- all 4 test came out negative - Grave's disease plays ugly tricks with your hormones.

My mom turned 75 this year - she just doesn't seem that old to me.

We had princess Leah and Snakes Eyes over on October 31st and thanks to our very generous friends Jeff and Barbara, Gracie got her Halloween wish to have decorations in the yard.

We went sledding a lot and and enjoyed Christmas .....

One of the best parts of the year -

I discovered running doesn't completely define who I am.

and

I rediscovered the joy of doing.

Happy New Year. May your 2010 be blessed with good health and happiness. :)

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T17:14:00.006-06:00

Dear Friends and Family -

Please accept my apology for not getting a Christmas card to you this year. Money is tight and about to get tighter with Scott having hip surgery in February. It has been suggested by a dear Minnesota friend to post a picture from Christmas morning. Well, I will but I also thought I would post the one I was going to use for the card this year. I kinda of pride myself on weeding thru all the pics I take throughout the year and send an "in the moment picture" of the kids instead of a posed one. There have been exceptions to this rule, last year Scott's mom made the elf costumes for the kids so I had use it.

So here it is. Along with the saying I would have put on the card. God bless all of you with a healthy, happy 2010.

Love Pam

Merry Christmas
May 2010 be blessed with
uplifting moments of happiness

Love,
Pam and Scott
Zak and Grace

Interesting Running Conversation

2009-12-11T14:31:00.004-06:00

So, I'm running with a friend a couple of weeks ago and we start talking about annoying people. And I make the mistake of saying, "I'm not annoying am I? Wait, of course I'm annoying" I say. Just as I'm saying it, I look at my friend and I see him looking back at me with the = geesh, annoying, of course you are, you don't know that by now? ..... who are you kidding?! look on his face :)

Ok, he didn't say any of that but, it was the look. You know, we all know that look. The one we give when we don't think the other person is looking. But every once in a while. The person you are giving the "look" to catches ya. Well, I caught my running buddy.

He denied the "look" and then started talking about something else that annoys him but I know what I saw.

Here's my point. We are all annoying. Some of us more than others but we all have the annoying gene. Those that can tolerate that gene, the most annoying part of us, those are the ones we call our friends.

Thankfully, I have running/cycling friends that somehow tolerate that I get happy and excited when I see someone getting ready to run with us. They ignore how annoying my questions can get and they answer them. They accept that I may laugh at inappropriate times and they let me talk, non-stop about my kids. I could go, but why it could start to get really annoying.

So, thank you training buddies. Thanks for letting me be awkwardly annoying.

Checked Off the Bucket List

2009-11-29T18:35:00.023-06:00

I've always wanted to do an Adventure Race. How cool to find your way with a map and compass. So, when Dennis asked if I wanted to do one my answer was a HUGE yes!

Sprint distance, 2 loops around a lake in a kayak (yikes but I know I could manage), 6 miles on a mountain bike (mostly single track) and orienteer your way thru 3.5 miles and 9 check points. UGH, I couldn't wait.

Got to the race site at 7:11 sharp. 7:30 the orienteering meeting would start and I couldn't miss it. Dennis arrived shortly after me. He brought me his old mountain bike since I no longer have brakes or gears on my because it's 20 years old and has never had a tune up.

Made adjustments to the bike, took it for a quick spin around the parking lot. Was asked if I planned on wearing my uggs for the ride by another racer, just laughed and said no. I was starting to think I was definitely a fish out of water here but it was really cold at 7:25 and I knew I had a long day ahead of me, I wasn't about the get cold now.

Orienteering meeting went well. Next, we prepared our gear. Helmet's, check. Compass, check, 1st aid kit, check, uggs off/trail shoes on, check. We were off to the pre-race meeting. Listened to the directions - There were 38 teams, 18 kayaks, the first 18 teams back from finding the 1st check point would kayak, the rest would mountain bike 1st. Then the RD said some more stuff about check point cards and punches but I really wasn't listening. I kept thinking I wanted to be one of the 1st 18 back.

It was time. Very casual start - I think it was a blow horn. We were off. Ran some single track and then found ourselves running through brush and thicket. It was a mad dash and I think we managed our way rather well. So well in fact that we got to the check point and back, we were the 13th team to do so. Oh yeah! We were rock'n it.

Ok, I should have checked my ego at the picnic table right then.

We hopped on our mountain bikes and had to ride a mile up Archer to get to the lake we would paddle on. Speed limit was 55 mph which made me really nervous, the nerves made me ride quicker than I normally do. We actually passed 2 teams on the bike. Got to the lake, dropped the bikes and all our stuff off and found some life jackets. Then a kayak. Crap those things are heavy. Had to carry it probably 500 yards to the lake. Did I tell you how heavy a kayak is?

Feet got wet, really wet getting in. Off we went. We were passed almost immediately after getting in the water by the 2 teams that we passed on the bike. Was feeling no pain our 1st 750 yrds in the water and then .... we started feeling it. We were passed by 2 older gentleman. When I say old, I'm guessing late 50's maybe. Ok, maybe they weren't that much older.

Dennis was in the back, mostly steering. I did the best I could paddling. Honestly, for never kayaking before I think we were handling things just fine. The 3 fisherman at the end of the first loop would not agree with me. 2 of them were screaming at us, which I learned up in Madison in 07, don't scream from the shoreline at people in a boat. You look like an idiot doing it and nothing is ever accomplished.

We switched position for the 2nd loop, I got in the back, Dennis in the front. Managed to get just about every part of me soaking wet. I had a fear of falling in the lake which really wouldn't have mattered because I was soaking wet. I think we got thru the 2nd loop and finished the entire task in under and hour. There was still one more team behind us which made me happy. We weren't in last! Got out of the kayak and prepared to carry it back 500 yrds and the RD asked us for our 1st aid kit. Crap, it's with our bikes. Penalty. We didn't know what it meant we got one and off we went.

I was freezing but managed to get the kayak back to were it belonged. Life jacket back to were it belonged and back on to my bike without turning into a Popsicle. Told Dennis I had to change when we got back to the car.

Competitiveness took over and skipped changing when we got back to the car, just took off my really wet gloves. Got our instructions for the mountain bike portion and off we went. Still had a chance to check my ego but didn't. Shoulda, woulda, coulda. This would be a breeze. 6 miles. No problem. I've been biking a lot lately. I've mountained biked before. I know what to expect. Wee, off we go.

I'm going to keep the next 6 miles as simple as I can, so here it is.

Ride, fall, get up, ride, fall, get up ride. fall get up, walk, get on the bike ride, fall, get up, adjust the seat, ah that's better, ride, fall, get up, ride, fall, get up, walk, ride, fall, hit head, freak out a little cause I heard my neck crack, ooo, wait that actually felt good, ride, the front brake snaps loose, no brake, going down hill, screaming like a little girl. stop myself on a tree. get off bike, no falling this time, Dennis fixes the brake, walk ride ..... you get the picture. Finally reach a parking lot and even surface and pretty much ride the last mile and a half in.

Completely humiliated and deflated we check in 2 hours and some odd minutes after we started our 6 mile journey. (I can share this with you, today, we ran the bike course and did it in an hour 5 - no that's not a typo - 1 hour, 5 minutes or 65 minutes which ever sounds quicker)

Why did I want to do this? What was I doing out here?

We were about to learn what our penalty was for not having our first aid kit. Before starting the orienteering we had to go back to the very 1st checkpoint we found at the start of the race and punch the number 10 on our card.

Unfortunately all that falling didn't deflate my ego and I didn't leave it on the picnic table this time either.

Off we went. No problem.

Um, problem. My legs were killing me from all the falling. I knew I had huge bruises, I could feeling them. Well, I was adding thicket burns while running thru all the brush. Lots of red throbbing thicket burn. Little prickly stickey's were stuck to my spandex, trying to catch a ride on my leg back to the suburbs. We got lost finding the CP and lost trying to find our way back. We evenutally made our way back to the start point after 40 minutes! We had 1 hour 17 minutes to find as many check points as we could. The man handing out the map and directions told us in so many words to keep our searching simple. I could almost hear him thinking that he did want to go out looking for us, he wanted to be home by 4 p.m.

We did. We kept it as simple as possible. We did get lost at first and I was rather surprised to see lots of pages from girlie magazines, beer bottles and a picnic table in the middle of a very wooded area. Really, come on, whatever happened to hiding them under the mattress.

We took our time and found our way and managed to find our 1st check point in about 30 minutes. I was jumping up and down like a little kids on Christmas. It was so cool. Found the next one in about 20 minutes. Again, more jumping up and down. In all honesty, Dennis led the way. In just a short amount of time he got really good at reading the map and figuring out where we were. We had just about 25 minutes to go about a mile and change to get to the next CP. We decided to go for it. I'm so glad we did. We found it and got back with about 9 minutes to spare.

Now the object of this adventure race was of course to find all 9 check points but if you didn't have all of them you had to be back by 2 p.m. If you weren't a check point would be deducted for every minute you were late. So we finished the race with 3 CP's and on penalty.

Pretty good for first timers. I highly recommend this race, the Fat Otter Fall Sprint to anyone wanting to try an Adventure race. It's well supported, close to home and just a lot of fun. And did I mention they have great food after the race?

You have know that I'm hell bent on getting on that mountain bike and riding whenever I can. I believe we would have rocked this race if my mountain biking wasn't so bad. Oh, I've also emailed my friend Sheila who is a great kayaker and got some tips on improving the kayaking as well. Can't wait to try it again. And yes, Dennis actually said he would another one with me. :)

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T12:56:00.004-06:00

Yes, it's that time of year again to let you know what I am thankful for, so here it goes ....

1. I am thankful for my health. Something I have taken for granted over the past several years. But not this year. I am thankful to have a strong beating heart and all the stuff that goes with it.

2. I am thankful for Synthroid. See #1

3. I am thankful for the walks that I had with my sister while my thyroid decided to play around with my heart. I enjoyed every step we took together. It was a miserable time for me but those moments walking with her, it was the silver lining in the dark clouds.

4. I am thankful for my friends. My old ones, Debs, Cin, my running tri friends, Caroline, Dennis, Tom, Gil, Scott, Ken and everyone else and for the friends that I got to know a little better this year, Laura :)

5. Of course I am thankful for my husband. He's my rock. Honestly, when you are turned inside out and life as you knew it is no longer the way it was, you need a rock. He's it. Hmm, if he's my rock I wonder what that makes me? What goes with a rock? Another rock?

6. I'm grateful to have my children. They learned how to ride a 2 wheeler this year. Oh yeah! So cool. They make me laugh, cry, crazy, angry, and all the other emotions you can feel. Sometimes all in a 5 minutes. My life would be so incomplete without them.

7. I'm thankful to all the police, firemen, the Army, Navy, Marines and Air Force - to everyone that keep me safe here in my little world. Thanks to them I can sleep at night, walk my kids to school safely and run/ride without fear of something bad happening. And you know me, I can think of a ton of bad things happening while running or riding.

8. I'm thankful for Bruce Springsteen and the concert my sister and I went too. It was a blast.

9. I'm thankful I can volunteer at the kids school.

10. I'm thankful for ..... I can't believe I can't think of anything else - hmmm.....

Now what my kis are thankful for ....

Gracie is thankful for

1. Her mom (yeah I get the number one spot again!)

2. My talent for drawing :)

3. My pet bunny :) :)

4. That I get to go to school.

5. The pilgams, because if they didn't become friends we wouldn't have Thanksgiving .

6. I'm thankful for this earth.

One more thing

7. I'm thankful I'm alive ( mom is too Gracie ;))

Zak is thankful for ....

1. Me (whoa, how did I manage that this year :) )

2. Presents

3. Daddy

4. Food

I can't think of anything else, that's all :)

Ok, off to the aunties now for dinner. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Today

2009-11-04T15:01:00.003-06:00

Woke at 4:45 - cell phone rang - I was dialed by mistake. I wasn't sleeping so the phone really didn't wake me just got me out of bed.

Went back to bed.

Re-woke up at 7:27 - house phone rang - was the math club instructor telling me there was no math club today. Did my best to sound like I had been up since 4:45. Hope she bought it.

8:30 - Zak fell off his bike. Got him up asked him if he still wanted to ride - YUP -off we went. 8:32 - Zak fell off his bike again. Picked him up, the neighbor straightened his handle bars and off we rode, quickly now, because school starts at 8:50 sharp and the kids have to be in their seats ready to go.

9:00 - checked email. Rescheduled a breakfast with a friend. Another friend is having trouble with her knees, another is working can't run this morning and another is off to Florida.

9:10 - confirm running plans with Randich.

9:30 to 10:30 eat my way into a sugar coma with Halloween candy. UGH!

11:00 - head to Aldi for lunch stuff.

11:15 - get gas

11:20 - get Zak's breakfast bars. Can't buy the Aldi brand cause of the nuts.

11:30 - run 6 miles.

1:00 - turn on the t.v. My knees are hurting from scrubbing the floor yesterday.

1:30 - turn on the movie "The Proposal".

1:50 - Laugh as the dog gets carried away by the eagle. Stop laughing when I think about when the hawk was circling our bunny in the garden last summer.

3:00 - decide to write this post

3:09 - log off to go pick up the kids.

Life is good :)

If I'm Dreaming - Please Don't Wake Me

2009-10-15T13:23:00.006-05:00

I realized I wanted children after my nephew Timothy was born. Let me rephrase that, after my niece Jessica was born I learned about the unconditional love of a baby but 5 months later when Timothy joined our family, I knew in my heart I was meant to be a mother.

I could never imagine it though. Never fantasized about. Not sure why but I did know that's what I wanted and I would be good at it.

We learned about 2 years into our marriage that the odds me getting pregnant were slim to none. So life went on. I started running and then thanks to Cin biking and eventually swimming. It helped fill time along with work and spending time with the nieces and nephews.

I'm not looking for pity when I say this but I would cry when the kids would leave or they would say they needed their mom. I was just the auntie, no matter how close you are to a child, no one can replace a mother.

Somehow, someway, all the planets aligned. GOD heard our prayers. We were blessed with twins in 2002 and I believe in my heart that my training days for anything were over. My priority was my family.

Just like the years leading up to our children taught me how to live, the years since having the children have taught me as well.

There is a balance and right now, today, in this moment. I feel as though I have mastered the balance. I usually balk at talking about the good. I worry that karma will show the bad if you brag how good things are but I just can't help myself right now.

I have my health, my husband and children, family and friends. Somehow I have the time to run/bike/swim, laundry, make dinner and volunteer. It is to good to be true. It is the fantasy I never allowed myself to have. I am blessed and will live one moment at a time. I live to the fullest because tomorrow will bring challenges, probably some I don't think I can handle but I will. Anyone reading this, live your dreams, they do come true.

While You're Away

2009-10-12T10:21:00.011-05:00

Taking a break from training was tough. I was very bitter for a long time and then gradually gave into the fact that I have to be patient and hopefully my time to run, bike and swim would come again. I was given a taste of that time last summer only to be sidelined in August for 6 more weeks.

Well, shortly after Louisville, I was given the thumbs up from my doc and started training again. It was tough. I think it was harder starting up again after the sinus thing than it was from the thyroid stuff. I was determined though to start out slow and work my way back.

It's funny when you take a break from something you love, you're determined that you will never miss a beat now that you have a "2nd" chance to get out there again. Nothing will stand in your way, you will find the time and there is no excuse that can keep you away.

That's the way I felt, until Sunday morning ....

I responded to an email thread that I would be out there Sunday morning, warmly dressed and ready to ride. Saturday night I prepared for the cold that I knew would greet me once I opened the garage door. Got to bed early (around 9:30) and I couldn't wait to get out there and ride with the cold. Yup, the cold was going to be just one of my training buddies. If wind wanted to join us, fine. The more the merrier. My attitude was polished perfect and nothing was going to get in my way of doing what I love to do.

Well, I didn't plan on Gracie needing a breathing treatment at 11:00. Fell back to sleep around 12. (I ended up breaking down and buying a watch, cause it was only $16 at Penny's, how could I not buy a new one for that price - but I'm not back to timing everything, thankfully, that obsessive part of me has not returned.) How do I know that, well, I remember 12 being the last time I looked at my watch. Was awakened by her coughing around 3:30. Scott was kind enough to get out of bed to give her a treatment. Unfortunately, he couldn't find the medicine, so I was up, in the cold of our house, getting the med. I snapped at him to go back to sleep and he was more than happy to crawl under the warm blankets. I gave my little one her breathing treatment. I found myself drifting back to sleep from the hum of the machine. Only to be awakened by the choking sound of the medicine cup emptying. I have a huge fear (this won't surprise any of you) of the nebulizer tube rapping around one of the kids necks and choking them while sleeping so I do my best not to fall a sleep when they take a treatment. Ok, so I shut of the machine and tuck it way so no one is strangled. It's just after 4:15 now, good, I have an hour and a half of good sleep time left. I take my thyroid meds now, because they have to be taken on an empty stomach and I need to eat when I get up .... blah, blah blah .... take the meds and try to fall back to sleep. Keep checking the time and it's now 5:15. CRAP! Ok, at 5:30 I'm getting up. So of course I fall asleep.

The alarm wakes me up at 6. Now, I feel sleep deprived (although I'm not really). I kick off the blankets to get out of bed and it's freezing! FREEZING!!! I pull the covers back on and whine to myself that I'm not going. NOPE. Not gettin out of bed.

While laying there, I'm thinking how I wrote I would be there. I thought about how I prepared to ride just 9 hours earlier and how I teased Randich a couple days earlier and if I didn't show up I would be subject to endless needling from him.

I got up, ate. Yoga'd. Dressed. Scott helped me duck tape my booties to my feet. I had to drive to the ride because of my procrastinating at 6. Made it to the start with minutes to spare.

We rode just about 28 miles. I held onto the draft almost the entire time. My heart rate stayed pretty steady and for the most part my hands and feet stayed warm. There were 5 of us out there braving the cold. We all thought it wasn't quite as cold as we thought it was going to be but it was cold none the less.

And, right now,

Life

is

Good :)

SI

2009-10-06T10:47:00.003-05:00

Hey Everyone!!! - Look - SI is blogging again - check out the scott-i link on the side .....

Louisville - With Pictures

2009-10-01T14:20:00.031-05:00

Sorry this post has taken so long to get to. I'm feeling really good now, so while doing my best to keep up with house work and family, volunteering at school, religious ed and training - I have been pleasantly distracted away from this blog. It's rainy here today, the perfect time to sit and write a little something for you to read ....

Laura at the door of our room. One the smallest hotel rooms I've stayed in. I think the rooms on a cruise may be a bit smaller - but not much. That's the room. The whole room. I'm standing next to the desk and the door to get in. The bathroom is just to my left. Good thing we're not big people, and I'm not kidding when I say that. You almost had to stand in the tub to close the bathroom door. If any one is wondering if we shared the bed, the answer is yes, I could say something funny about that but I won't :) Not to change the subject but here's me at the swim out. It was a beautiful afternoon. The water was choppy though. It didn't look inviting at all and I was hoping it would calm down for the next morning. Here are some pics of team spectate!!! Yes, we had a large group down there to watch and cheer on our buddies. I was worried about feeling kind of old or out of place, I'm not much of a party person but I didn't feel out of place at all. These are a great bunch of people. Let's see, I think the official name of the group was "super spectators" - was that it? Barbara was our fearless leader and lead us she did. Thanks to her we knew exactly where to go and stand and not miss a thing. We were up early race day morning. I think it was just before 4 a.m. which would mean 3 a.m. Chicago time! We checked out of the hotel this early cause we weren't sure about the day and didn't want to have to worry about doing it later. Laura and I met Dennis in the lobby of his hotel around 5:15. It was down to bike transition, body marking and then over to the swim waiting area. Seeing transition, I had a tweek of a desire to be there and over by body marking, I felt the sameway. My heart was jumping all over the place by this time. I was wondering if I was having signs of a thyroid relapse or something. Literally it jumped around all that day. I think it was the excitement of the day because it has since settled down. The line to the swim entry was neverending long. It would be enough to unrattled the most prepared athlete. It just kept going, and going and going. Plus it was very dark. Finally we made it to this sign and then waited for just about an hour to start moving again. From this point on it was race time. The athletes were moving and so were we to watch them. It was so much fun seeing them out there. Screaming for them. Here's Val and her hubby, to the right and then Chris, Barbara and Karen to the left. Me and Laura had a plan to spectate the biker's - "more cow bell" .... Thankfully the weather was great. The athletes did an awesome job. The was long. I know, anyone reading this that participated is thinking, huh, really long for you huh?! Honestly it was long for all of us. But I can't think of any other way to spend it. I was glad to be there. Watching. It helped me put things in perspective. And remind me just what I put the hubby and family thru back in 2007. In the end it is all about family and friends being there for you. Being there while you train, being there while you race. Supporting you, even on the days when you think they aren't. I got to see a couple of 1st time Ironman finishers and I got to witness a friend qualify for Kona. Plus, I got to know someone a little better. Me and Laura had a fun ride home. We were tired but made it in 4 hours! It was a day I won't soon forget.

It's Here

2009-09-04T10:32:00.003-05:00

Well, it's here.

My 45th year.

Gracie woke me up this morning with a huge smile on her face. She's so excited for my birthday. She has a present for me. It's a surprise! But Scott let me know cause he was so excited he couldn't hold it in. She's taking me out for ice cream after we have dinner tonight.

4 5

Forty Five

Can't believe I'm that old.

Now I get to get my teeth cleaned as a birthday present to myself.

Can't wait to tell you about the Louisville trip. Gotta download the pics though.

:)

Louisville

2009-08-31T14:48:00.002-05:00

Driving into Louisville from Indiana Saturday afternoon left me with a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat.

Crap! I thought. This week-end is going to be ruined because I'm suddenly feeling very sad about not racing on Sunday.

Well, I got over. I don't know if it's because I said how I was feeling out loud to Thelma (Laura) or what but the knot and lump shortly dissolved away and shear joy of watching an event like an Ironman unfold Saturday afternoon was a blast!

Over the past several weeks I've wondered if I will have the desire to want to "race" an Ironman distance. The expense of just signing on to do it has soured my feelings toward the race since I lost $450 cancelling my entry this summer.

But after yesterday, I know in my heart I'm meant to try. In my heart I know I should be out there and giving it everything I have. Next time I won't be carrying my phone with me, or stopping on the bike several times to pee or call the family, not taking 20 minutes in transition each time. I need to know what it feels like giving it everything I have. This year my body just wasn't ready for that but I know someday it will be.

I'm looking forward to someday.

Congratulations training buddies. You worked hard, it was an amazing day for you. God bless you Ironmen!

"Life Changing"

2009-08-25T12:07:00.005-05:00

Last winter I doubted the term "Life Changing".

I watched the movie "Gone Baby Gone" and couldn't stop thinking about how people throw around the catch phrase life changing. I believed then that we eventually all return to our bad habits and the way we treat people.

Well, it's August and I have to say, I now believe that "life changing" experiences do take place. I have to also say that we are all different, obviously, so what affects one person may not have any affect or impact on the guy sitting next to you.

Since starting this hyperthyroidism journey, I was forced to stop drinking caffeine. I was certain once the problem was taken care of I would return to my morning Cinnamon tea habit. Well, I'm here to say I haven't. As a matter of fact, I don't even like the taste of the tea anymore. Huh, go figure. I still love having some icy cold coca cola or a hot chia tea latte but I don't need it everyday.

But that's not the only thing that has changed. For many, many, MANY YEARS, I have been a time obsessed person. Not in the sense that I'm always on time, (the hubby wishes I were like that) no, I mean in the sense that I had to wear a watch and check the time. Like every 5 minutes obsessed. And I would time everything from a waitress in a restaurant to a movie we were watching. For some reason, that has ended. I no longer wear a watch. I really don't care to. It's the craziest thing. I honestly just don't need to know anymore.

My 45th year is in my drive way getting ready to knock on my door so we can start the party. Part of me is dreading it. I can't believe 44 years of my life have gone by. I'm definitely greyer and the fine lines on the face are getting "finer" but part of me is looking forward to the future. and what tomorrow is going to bring. Why? because nothing is written in stone. Who know maybe I'll even become a better speller. :)

Nasal Sinuses, Where?

2009-08-17T09:55:00.007-05:00

So, I've been battling a summer cold for a couple of weeks now.

Blamed the mildew cup but the endocrinologist said that I would have gotten rid of that as quickly as I drank it.

I had enough of dealing with the coughing and not being able to breath and was lucky enough to score an appointment with a nasal sinus guy down by the hubby's new building.

I thought I was feeling better when I woke up the morning of my appointment. On the drive down the cough from the post nasal drip started and I was glad I didn't cancel. I hate coughing in elevators. It was hard holding it in on my ride up.

The door for the docs office had a nose for a handle. Which I guess is cute but you had to put your hand up the nose to get the door open. Kind of gross.

After a brief consult with the doc, he has me sit in what looked a lot like a dental chair. He's talking but I can't really hear what he's saying cause he's approaching with what looks like a thin knitting needle. Um, okay, I'm thinking my nose is about to be terribly violated. And it was. I was seeing red. Did you know if you put a red light up your nose you can see that red light from the inside, without a mirror. I didn't until last Friday. I'll try not to be to graphic with what I'm about to say next - I'll use his words. "I can't see anything, I have to give you a decongestant spray. You go for your CT scan and we'll try again. when you come back" He told me that after he plunged the long stick in and out about 5 or 6 times. OUCH!

Well, the bottom line. My sinuses are covered in infection. He told me he would show me my sinuses on the CT scan but you can't see them, it's nothing but grey on the picture, where my sinuses should be. He went on to say he's not sure what caused it. It could be anything or a little bit of everything, the ablation, the cup, the allergies and so on.

So, I have drugs, lots of them and I will take them. And rest. I have to go buy some more kleenex now.

Family Staycation Day #65

2009-08-05T19:02:00.047-05:00

Welcome - pull up a chair, get a cup of coffee and a cookie. Enjoy the following slide show of our family staycation day #65. Ah, life is good.

Oh, and don't worry, tomorrow I won't post a bunch of pictures of what my kids really looked like during the day. This day really was pretty much as good as it could get.

Called the hubby to tell him we arrived - ask him were he is and he tells me to look up - he's in that little cage - the kids were jumping up and down at this point :)

Yes, it's moments like this, when you're lucky enough to capture it in a picture, that make life so great. Then the moment gets topped off when Zak says - "Mom, I'm so lucky I get to wear dads sweat for the rest of the day". And he meant it, now I guessing right around the time he turns 10 or so, he'll make a comment more like, "Get that sweaty helmet away from my head - that's disgusting."

After this pic we kissed daddy good bye and made our way over to the beach.

I was starting to wear thin on our walk over to the beach. What's a suburban mother to do when she starts to run out of fuel - why head into the local Starbucks of course. It worked.

See that long dot in the center of the picture? That's a momma and her baby ducks swimming. Thought it was pretty funny to see them out there. This is considered "Tri" beach, I've never seen ducks swimming in this area before. And she was swimming fast. Must be the training she does out there.

The water was a bit cold for Zak :)

Not Gracie though. She was posed and ready to tackle what ever came her way.

Zak loved hanging on the beach and pretending he was Godzilla, eating the heads off of sand people.

Mmmmm, Starbucks lemon glazed cake. Refreshing after a lake front swim.

Who has time to stop and eat when there is so much sand to dig in?

This picture is one of many attempts to try and capture the kids playing at the beach for this years Christmas card. I don't think this picture will work. The lovely ladies in the back ground may be to much for some of the older card recipients to handle.

Gave up on the pictures and told the kids to just have some fun.

We made a new friend. This little boy spoke very little english. He knew water. They played for about an hour and half and had a blast.

Ok, I know you see my kids, but just in front of them is what I'm trying to photograph. Zak pulled this pile from the lake. There was more than this actually. He wanted to take it home for dad. Hmmm.

He's trying to convince me here that he can carry the load back to the car and not get tired. He succeeded. Half way back to the car though we stopped and dumped about half the load and then guess who carried the bags from there. It wasn't Zak or Grace :)

In order to avoid some of the crazy commuter traffic, we stopped at McDonalds for dinner before getting in the car. We found where we were on the map and I had the kids point it out.

Yes, fries, chicken nuggets and orange drink, the best way to finish a great day.

Please - Don't Drink the Mildew

2009-07-26T18:48:00.006-05:00

Thursday - July 16th - 10 a.m.
I prepared for my ride with Chip and his daughter. I was excited to get out there. Missed the ride the Sunday before with the group. Hubby was working, it was one of those rare Sunday's that he had to go in. I didn't mind skipping the ride though, we had been at a graduation party late Saturday night. It was more like a wedding celebration. The kids danced and danced. It was good time and sleeping in felt even better. Okay, I'm getting off track here.

So, Thursday, July 16th, I got the bike ready, tires pumped, water cup in place. Had some dried mango for nutrition. I was ready to go. It was rather windy. We couldn't figure out the direction it was coming from so we just rode out to Monee. Loved the ride. Windy but I felt really good.

Get home and take the water cup off the holder, pull out the splash guard to drink the rest of the water and what do I see, mildew. Lovely, red slime resting at the bottom of my cup. I wanted to lose it right there. UGH! No way, there is no way I just drank 24 oz. of water with this gunk at the bottom.

Well, Friday, July 17th, I woke up and felt fine. HA! I dodge a bullet. Phew, I guess I'm pretty darn healthy huh?

Went to bed that night with a cough and sniffles but wrote that off to nerves - after all the next day was the Warrior Dash. Jumping thru flames and in dark caves....

By Saturday, July 18th, p.m. I was coughing constantly. Didn't sleep. The coughing turned into that awful barking yip - croup was back. So, I attempted to sleep in and skipped the ride Sunday, then skipped the run Monday, Tuesday, no ride Wednesday.

Wednesday, July 22nd, After being sleep deprived for 4 nights, I'm thinking crap. Why didn't I just check the bottom of that darn cup?! CRAP! I was bumm'n big time and then my phone rings ....

Me - Hello

Endocrinologist - Mrs. E. Dis is Dr. S. I have your labs from yesterday ....

Me - Oh, hi Dr. S. Geeze, how's your day goin'?

Endo - Listen to me, your thyroid leVels are Very low, you need to go on medication vight now ....

Me - Can't this wait, I see you in 2...

Endo - NO, dis can not vait, you must go on it NOW. You have to be experiencing the following symptoms .... (she names 3 out of 4 things I have been experiencing)

Me - (thinking it not saying it - crap, CRAP, CRAP!)

Endo - I need your pharmacy number to call dis in dis morning

Me - give her the number.

Endo - Do not worry. Just start the medication. I vill see you in 2 weeks.

I thought I dodged a radioactive bullet and wasn't going to have to take any medication. Heck, I was feeling so good with my workouts that I truly did ignore the symptoms I was feeling. Big mistake. Shouldn't have done that. I beat myself up about it until Friday. Well, at least I wasn't thinking about the mildew and the cough for a couple of days.

Sunday, July 26th, the croupy cough is finally going away and so are the hypothyroid symptoms, the worst of which was muscle cramping, which is so weird because I hadn't worked out regularly for so long that I just figured they were normal.

We can be our own worst enemies. Well, I can tell my water cup is cleaned dry. Part of me wants to just throw it away and get a new one. I think that's what I'm gonna do.

What a BLAST!

2009-07-22T14:56:00.011-05:00

Some months back Dennis sends me an email about doing some run/obstacle race right near my house. Well, a couple months back I couldn't think about what I was doing the next day let a lone in 3 months, so I deleted the message and moved on.

In early June he reminds of the race. I'm feeling pretty good at that point and decided to do the race. Yeah! This is one of those things in life I've always wanted to try and I was really excited about doing it.

Here's the link to the race http://www.warriordash.com/.

Honestly, I didn't sleep Friday night. Thoughts of fire pits and dark caves were freaking me out. Plus, I heard from Ironman Louisville, they don't roll over entries but offered me $150 refund. I was disappointed and wondered was I making the right decision. To late now, the check's in the mail. (And yes, I'm making the right decision, I'm training about 5 hours a week, my ego is back to normal if I think I could complete and Ironman distance on that kind of training - DOH!)

So, get up Warrior Dash morning. Eat, stretch, no yoga though, didn't want to bend the wrong way and pull something - and waited for Dennis.

I was farely calm when we arrived at the race site. Even when I saw the fire pit, with the dark smoke and orange flames. I was really excited about just getting out there, trying something new, something different and just doing it.

Got to see Rick as we all lined up in our respective waves. Ended up getting in the wrong wave, so I guess I was nervous. Got out and into the correct one.

And before I knew it I was off. I loved every single step of this thing. It was a lot like trailing running but no real trail just a heavily traveled grassy area. It was a 2 loop course, the 1st loop was running with some rolling hills at the very end. When I say rolling hills, I mean it literally. Not little tight rollers like in a 5 or 10k, these rollers are the kind of rollers like when you are a kid and you're riding your bike home from the library and you purposely go by the new houses they are building cause there are mounds of dirt you get to ride up and then down consecutively. FUN STUFF!!!

The 2nd loop starts and you run around and then over old cars, hmm, what was next, um, you then run down a steep ravine, over a 2 x 4, back up the ravine and then do it again about 10 feet away, next you pull yourself over a ply wood wall and then do it again (this was the hardest thing for me and I probably lost about a minute on the 1st one but gained my composer and did the 2nd one no problem) I guess some folks had some real trouble because Rick told me he had about a 300 person wait when he got to this point. UGH! That would have sucked. Then you ran thru this stone fort (thankfully not the dark cave I feared), next ran thru a mud pit (where many lost their shoes) ran thru a city that looked a lot like an abandoned movie lot, next was the fire pit - which by this point was very low and finally crawled thru another mud pit which was about 5 to 10 yrds long. Which I loved!

Here's my complaint - let's see if I can make this clear without to many words. The athletes were complaining this event wasn't challenging enough. Hmmm. Hmmmm...... Ok, granted it wasn't some army training course but I think for $40 - I got what I signed up for. And, here's the kicker, these people complaining about the challenge, when we got to the mud pit, some of them were actually holding up the barbed wire and walking under it! Huh?! I started yelling at the guy in front of me that was doing that. What the heck - he was griping and complaining for 10 minutes and finally gets to a point where he can get down and dirty and he chose to be a pansy!

Anyway, I highly encourage everyone to do this race. I had so much fun. I said I wanted to finish in about 40 minutes and ended up doing it in 37+. When I was done I wanted to do it again - right then!

It was a blast. :) I'm thinking about signing up for the Men's Health Urbanathon. We'll see - :)

I Was Living a Nightmare

2009-07-14T09:51:00.012-05:00

Yes - that is such an over dramatic statement - many times over used - especially by me but here's what happened ....

I've been on the MetLife Duathlon Race Committee for 4 years now. I have 2 responsibilities for the DU, food and portapotties. Very easy tasks. Make arrangements for the porto's by April. We order 16. It was done. The contract was typed, mailed, signed and returned.

About 4 weeks before the race I secure the bagels with a local bake shop and then call on local grocery stores for fruit and water donations. Oh, I also contact a flavored water company in hopes that they will support they race. Some years they do, some the don't. No luck this year. They couldn't help.

The Saturday before the race I pick up the grapes and banana's. Took them home. Washed the grapes. Cut them up. Store them in the fridge - Mmmm, they are so much better cold aren't they?! Then I go get the bagels. Bags full, the food usually fills the back of my car.

Sunday morning - race day. Get to the parking lot. Unload the food. I'm proud of the way I have cleaned and packed the grapes. I'm a little concerned about the banana's being soft. I unpack my bike. I'm racing today - YUP! RACING! I'm gonna try to go as fast as I can. Well, I'm just about to pull my peanut butter sandwich and mango out for breakfast when I hear the race director say - hey Pam - "Where's the portapotties?"

I pinched myself. Did I just hear him say that. They had to be here. How could I not notice they weren't. Well, guess what - they weren't there.

I was sick. it was 5:35 A. M. I called the company we ordered from every 5 minutes until 6. I knew then we would get no help from them. It's Sunday morning and the emergency hot line they set up was useless. I knew within 1 hour I would have 500 racers looking for a place to go and we had none.

I could now write about how I frantically talked to the village of Tinley Park as they tried to help us. How I ran from business to business up and down Oak Park avenue - looking for someone to be open and help us. I could tell you how I felt my pasta dinner from the night before trying to come back up as I ran across the rail road tracks. That's when I stopped myself. Went over my mental check list.

1. Order pots in April.
2. Gil confirmed contract came and was signed.
3. Called last Wednesday and confirmed 16 porto's would be there.

So why aren't they here?

I started to pray, ran to the corner of Oak Park and I think 172nd and saw the fire house. After pleading my case to the chief, we were given permission to use their bathrooms. The Bike Shop on Oak Park ave., a race sponsor, also let us use their 1 bathroom and 2 bathroom's at the train station became available to us after we assured them we would replenish soap, toilet paper and paper towels.

Also, I have to say thank you to my husband bringing all the toilet paper we have at the house - and for giving me his warm genuine smile when he brought because, I was ready to lose it when I saw him. I actually did start crying but stopped when he started laughing at me. It was a respectful laughing at me, not a a dasturdly, mean laughing at me.

Somehow, by the grace of GOD and the graciousness of the TP fire dept., The Bike Shop, Cavellini's and the racers, it all worked out.

After the craziness of the morning I wasn't going to race but at the last minute (and that's literally the last minute) I did the event. I was 7 minutes off my best times. I'll take it! I'll embrace it and welcome it with open arms. 2 minutes + slower on each leg o the run and 2 minutes + slower on the ride but for some reason I'm good with it.

Monday morning I got a tearful call from the girl responsible for not having the potties at the race. She could barely speak which is never a good way to be with me cause I'll start crying with you. The race director ended up calling the owner of the company who has agreed to make a donation to Together We Cope, which I think is an awesome and write an apology to all the racers.

I told Gracie and Zak that we will learn from this - that no matter how bad things seem, we can't just crawl into a ball and cry. A solution can be found.

Next year - I'm camping in the parking lot until the porto's are delivered Saturday night. I will also have the companies owner's personal cell phone number in case anything goes wrong because I NEVER, EVER want to experience this nightmare again.

Live in the Moment

2009-06-22T09:11:00.006-05:00

I learned some things about myself with the thyroid experience but the biggest thing I learned is to live in the moment. (For anyone who followed my training for IMOO, I'm sure you're thinking, hey, I thought that was the life lesson you learned from that experience - well I guess I didn't.)

The past several months were filled with a mind that was skipping around as fast as my heart rate to right now I have a feeling of being very calm. I'm probably as closed to centered as I could feel. Mymind is racing all the time, just not scattered. So it was torture having it race as fast as my heart rate.

We live in a world of complete distraction. We put ourselves there with TV, iPods, computers (blogging & facebook), blackberries or cell phones. Add all the caffiene that's available to use for a small price of course. Add all the surgary goodness of the cakes and ice creams, and the candy that is put right at the checkout counter of the grocery store. Add how easy it is to stop by and pick up dinner because you've been distracted by everything else mentioned above to make dinner. My mind was lost on so many levels.

I would go to bed at night sometimes and wonder why I didn't finish the laundry or get the car cleaned out or why was I snapping at Scott, Gracie or Zak. It's because of the distractions I created with the stuff above.

I know I want to be a better mom, wife, person. I know I want to be a better cyclist, runner swimmer. I want to be a true friend.

I got a wake up call. Sometimes words are tough to live by but I need to start living in the moment again and turn off the distractions.

I rode in the moment yesterday. I kept up with the big kids for a while. It felt so good. When I fell back I was ok with it. It just felt good being there. That's what I missed and I got the feeling back yesterday. I want to go into to detail about the perfect weather, no wind, hanging onto the draft but I won't. I'll just say the ride was sweet - as sweet as all the candy I used to eat. :)

Oh, one more thing, I'm still gonna blog. I like doing this but I'll only be coming by every once in a while. I have an entire summer to spend with my kids. We're going to the park now. Have you tried the monkey bars lately? Now there's something that could distract your mind for a while. Holy crap they're not easy anymore. When did that happen - when did they get so hard to get across? :)

No Ironman

2009-06-12T10:47:00.008-05:00

I was faced with a difficult decision. Do I attempt to do the Ironman this August or do I scrap the whole thing. What to do .....

After talking to the doctor, talking to Scott and praying, I have decided not to participate in Louisville.

This was not an easy conclusion to reach. The cost of the race is expensive and the likely hood of getting any money back is slim to none. Although I have written a letter to the race director and am waiting to hear from him. Times are tough right now, my husband is the bread winner in our household. I spend, he earns, so to throw $575 out the window, even writing it sucks. Personally, I had a dream of racing this time around. I convinced myself in January that my rapid heart rate would turn into a "super heart" allowing me to recover quicker and faster there for making it much easier for me to race fast. Yes, I'm admitting this publicly. This obviously didn't happen. Getting thru a 2 hour bike ride or a 5 mile run is about tops on what I can handle.

But, I knew in my heart that there would be one person that no matter what I said about not doing it, no matter what the excuse - he wouldn't get it. He's a good friend and says he understands but I know him and I know he doesn't.

I know this is a mark on my record that will never be erased with him and I will be looked at differently. But this is what I know about my friend. See, I used the word friend and not my corny term "tri-mate" or even his really name. He's my friend. He can and will judge me but at the end of the day or race or decision, he will remain my friend. And he has.

This post isn't an attempt to turn the light bulb on over your head my friend and make you see why I'm choosing not to participate but rather it is a post telling you I get where your coming from. Keep sending me the inspirational comeback stories and messages. I will read them and learn from them. But I don't think I'm going to change my mind about this one. And the day will come when I am well rested and you will NEVER catch me on the bike and I will greet you at the finish line.

Train smart. Race safe.

Michelle

2009-06-03T17:12:00.004-05:00

July 21, 1967 - June 3. 2009

Rest in peace my teacher, my tri-mate, my friend.

You taught me so much. You're spirit will ride with me on Sunday mornings and race days.

OK Sybil - What's Up With the Vacation Stories

2009-05-31T06:29:00.005-05:00

My sister and I used to say "Okay Sybil" when ever we thought the other one was sounding a little crazy. For those who don't know who Sybil is, well you were probably born after the late 70's. Look her up. Not to diminish her story - very sad story.

The hubby always tells me there are 3 sides to every story. Your's, their's and the truth. Well, I think it's pretty much that way in life. We had a great time on vacation but it had it's share of "moments". I have a habit of making life sound grand. Well, most of the time. After reading my 1st post I realized how I was sounding so thought I would mix a little reality into it with the 2nd post. Which has now lead to this post. And I think I've said just about all I need to about our trip. So, end of story.

I'm getting ready to ride with the group this a.m. Rode with R on Friday. Things were good for a while and then some of the big kids came out to play. Argh - the peer pressure to hang with the older crowd. They're a little fast for me :) MJ did stay with me though. Big heart :) :)

I'm trying again today. My stomach is in knots but it'll all be good. I'm taking it slow. Gotta take it slow.

The Erickson Family Vacation

2009-05-28T08:12:00.016-05:00

We got lost. A lot. We got lost going there. Coming back to Cincinatti from Newport Kentucky. Coming home. We got lost in Kings Island. Did I say we got lost alot?

Someone forgot to tell me how expensive amusement parks have become. Holy crap. $47.99 to get in? Insult to the cost, we had to pay adult admission for the kids because we might be coming back on Monday. Then we get charged, and I'm not exaggerating this - $38.81 for lunch at Subway. Yes, 3 sandwiches, 2 bags of chips, 3 sodas (you had to buy medium cause they didn't have small) and 1 water cost almost $40. I wanted to tell the kids to eat slowly and enjoy every bite cause they wouldn't be eating again until breakfast. A 2 hour trip through the aquarium was 66 bucks! What are they feeding those fish that it costs a family of 4 that much money to walk around and look at a bunch of fish tanks?

Since I'm complaining - why would they open a water park and not provide towels for the guests? Or at the very least, let guests know on the website to make sure you bring your own towels.

Here are some great family pics of our "fun filled" vacation ....

You know you're kids are outgrowing the kids section of the amusement park when they start punching the cardboard likeness of their favorite cartoons ....

My kids never fight - except for every 20 seconds. There's always an opportunity to fight about something, like "hey did you just sit there? Cause I was gonna sit there so get up and let me sit there" .....

Here's my beautiful daughter smiling for the camera. Life is just to short and precious not to capture it with pictures.

Our Family Vacation (4 Great Days/3 Fun Filled Nights in Mason OH)

2009-05-26T10:39:00.012-05:00

We took the kids for a long week-end to Mason Ohio. Mason is just northeast of Cincinatti. Kings Island amusement park is there along with the local mall, movie theather and fun family restaurants. The amusement park was great. They have scaled down just about all the adult rides so the kids can get the same experience. We spent 10 1/2 hours there, between the riding the rides and playing at the outdoor waterpark. Both parks were including for 1 admission price!

On Sunday we travels about 20 minutes down the interstate to Newport Kentucky. There is a fun aquarium there. We first saw this place on an episode of Ace of Cakes. It's very hands on, interactive. Chicago has a great aquarium but I think they could learn a thing or 2 from this place.

The weather was warm. Just what I was hoping for. Packed plenty of sunscreen, shorts, tees and bathing suits. I think the family needed a get away and it was definitely time well spent :)

F O U R MILES - I'll Take It :)

2009-05-21T09:04:00.005-05:00

Last week the heart rate went up again. After a 4 mile walk jog, I couldn't get it to come down. I was beside myself! I would have invited you to the pity party but I was to embarrassed by how I was dealing with my disappointment to share it with anyone.

Got on the trainor Friday and everything seemed good. Walked Saturday and Sunday.

Monday woke up, emailed Randich and asked if he was up for a run. Was supposed to go with him last week but cancelled do to the pity party.

We got 4 miles in. F O U R miles. And it was great! I'm not sure why. Of course I have disected every step I took, what I was wearing, what I ate for breakfast, how much water I drank before, during and after the run and so much more. Haven't come up with a legimate answer for feeling so good, other than it was just good :)

Now, don't misinterpret a GREAT RUN with - "I'm running like I used to". We averaged 10:06 miles. My max avg. hr was in the low 170's. So I have some work to do. But if I look at a very similar run Care and I had last winter, my hr avg. in the 180's and we were about 30 sec. slower. So, things are slowly improving.

I'll take slowly improving to a pity party anyday.

Things are Good, ok, Good

2009-05-04T11:44:00.009-05:00

I was worried about attending my friend Michelle's benefit on Saturday. Without beta blockers (my anxiety meds) I truly was afraid of some kind of meltdown. I was worried about seeing my frail friend but after being at the event for just about 5 minutes I felt someone come from behind and give me a huge hug. It was a real hug too, not just a "put your arms around you and pat them on the shoulder hug." It was Michelle and it was good to see her. There are very few things I hate in this world. Cancer is at the top of my hate list. I know I said I wouldn't use this word but I have to say it .... FUCK YOU cancer. And how dare you do this to my friend. That's all I will say because the benefit was successful and the mood was very upbeat and positive.

It was nice to see so many people. To talk to Ken and MJ, Barbara and Jeff. There was a lot of small talk but some people I got to catch up on things. Dennis was there and I'm complaining to him about my weight and he tells me that I look better with a couple extra pounds on. I was looking a little tired and my eyes were sinking in my head (I think that's what he said) - Now he tells me :)

There are 2 things that I just can't seem to surrender to and one of them is the weight. About 2 weeks ago I couldn't sleep. I got on the scale at 2 in the morning and what does it read - I'm about to publicly say this - 127.8 pounds! Yup, the last time I weighed that much I was about 4 months pregnant, with twins. I completely freaked out. Which is hard to do quietly because I have a sleeping husband and children upstairs. While in my jammies I jumped on my bike and rode the trainer for 2 hours - like the 2 hour ride was going to just dissolve away the weight. Then did about 20 minutes of yoga. Then tried to sleep. About half way thru the next morning I had this extremely settling thought - was I going to make myself miserable for the rest of my life if I had to stay 127.8 pounds? It was a weird, comforting thought. Well, I didn't surrender to it. Instead I truthfully assessed my diet and made some changes. Like no bread or pasta for a while and no candy. For real no candy. I picked up all the left over Easter candy in the house and opened it and then threw it away. If I didn't open it and just threw it out I would definitely go fishing for it. Yes, I said it. That's how addicted I am to candy.

I'm feeling better about the weight thing now. It's hard though. It's hard not having a long run to fall back on to help you lose an extra pound or 2 - or in my case 10. And I must admit. I am one to skip a meal just to help me feel thin. Well, I can't do that right now. Had to eat to have the meds work properly and certainly couldn't go for the long run. I hoping I will continue my healthy eating habits and not fall back into the nasty ways that I used as a crutch.

I told Caroline the story about getting on the bike at 2 a.m. and she was laughing and said, "now that would be a good picture to use for the club year end video!" Yeah, I can see it now - UGH! :) I told her I'm gonna get so big, I'm gonna be the fat one on the news. They'll have to knock down a wall to get me out of my house and I'll be holding my IMOO medal crying at the camera - "but I'm an Ironman, this can't be happening." All right all of the hard core Ironman readers - I know I'm just a Wisconsin Ironman. I'll be to fat to say all that without feeling winded.

Thursday is the day. "A" day. Ablation day. I'll write about how it goes. Let's hope the radiologist gets a good night sleep. I'm ready to get this done and over with.

Thyroid Rollercoaster

2009-04-30T06:35:00.007-05:00

"You will be feeling uncomfortable just a little while longer." the doc tells me Monday at my 10 a.m. appointment.

I went armed with a page full of questions - I had written my "unable to consentrate - why?" question twice. Jeez, what was that telling her.

Brought my heart rate monitor. I probably looked like an idiot wearing it in the waiting room. I didn't think to just put the transmitter, my Garmin 305, in my purse. I hate purses. Showed the doc how low my HR was now. It was 54 while we sat and talked. I complained for it being high, now it's to low. Stop the heart meds. She believes they are the culprit to the memory and the insomnia. She told me not to throw them away though. I may need them after the ablation.

So, I will ride this roller coaster for just a little longer. I hope. :) The thyroid ablation is scheduled for Thursday. GOD I'm hoping the radiologist has a good night sleep next Wednesday and things go as planned on Thursday. From what I have read and have been told things won't get back to normal over night but I'm seeing an end to this, well, eventually.

I'm trying to find humor in this experience. There have been some really funny things (they weren't funny at the time but they are now) that have happened. I'll try to get my thoughts together and share them with you soon.

I have a feeling this coming week the ride is gonna get really bumpy though, without the antithyriod meds and the heart meds. So if you see me and I don't say hello or do say some off the wall thing please don't take it personally. And there's a good chance the deep heavy sighing is gonna come back. I'm not bored with what you are saying. I'm just waiting for my turn to get off this crazy ride.

Moments of Clarity

2009-04-14T08:29:00.005-05:00

I'm learning that there are certain things in life, everyday that you just can't control.

I'm a very controlling person. Not in the sense that I try to transform others into who I think they should be but in sense that my life should be a certain way. I should feel a certain way. If it's not, I'm not, then I can fix it. Well, there are some things you can't fix in a matter of minutes. It takes time. Weeks. Even months.

I'm having moments of clarity. When I say that I mean, there are times now when I actually feel normal. Like my old self. I've been avoiding people because my tolerance of just about anything is NONE.

I noticed about 10 days ago, while running from the car to the neighborhood Easter egg hunt that I was running. I was running and there was no chest pain or even rapid heart beat. I was cautious about having this good feeling. Sure enough by the afternoon something changed and things got fuzzy and I got crabby but it was then that I realized I couldn't control hyperthyroidism.

So now, I'm trying to just sit back and ride this bumpy ride of my life. And when the moments of clarity come I will enjoy and know that in time I will have more and more.

Oh, if you're wondering why the pictures of the kids. Well, I wanted to post them even though this post has nothing to do with what the pictures are about. When I'm thinking like I can tell a story (which many of you know I love to talk and tell things in great detail) I'll let you know what's going on. In the mean time, I'm sure most of you can make a pretty good guess.

Jittery

2009-03-31T14:05:00.012-06:00

Ok, I was going to write about how we saw the Easter bunny Sunday. We ended up eating with the EB in our old high school. It was fun showing the kids pictures of their dad on the wall of fame. I loved watching my friend's daughters dance while we ate our breakfast. It was a great way to spend a snowy spring morning.

That's about all the detail my buzzing mind can muster up.

I'm not the stoic, stiff upper lip patient I would love to believe myself to be.

The jitters that accompany hyperthyroidism - SUCK. Thankfully Zak can't read yet or else he'd be spelling it to the class tomorrow.

Women reading think - P M S. Men reading think wives, daughters, co-workers with P M S.

I have a very understanding husband. I hope I don't damage my children or my friendships because bitchiness is oozing at an uncontrollable rate.

I won't say anymore. I'm going to go itch the skin off my back now.

Oh, you have one more day to Shop n Share. Now go. If you went, thank you.

It's Time to Shop, Again :)

2009-03-30T07:16:00.004-06:00

It's time to Shop n Share again.

Here's the link to the website as well as the link to Jewels weekly sale ads.

http://www.michellesracetorecovery.com/

http://jewelosco.shoplocal.com/jewelosco/default.aspx?action=nuep&adref=jewel_osco_homepage

Hope you find some good bargains!

Ironman

2009-03-19T13:04:00.010-06:00

I went to see Dennis's new baby. She's so cute. Look what he gave me. WOW. Now to many this is nothing more than a visor with words.

To me, well, it's more than that.

When I did IM Wisconsin Doug bought the group hats. For me, it was the glue that bonded us together. Well, I've just been glued, again.

I'll be honest, I have been leaning towards not doing the race. I guess my actions have been speaking louder than my thoughts because I've been training. Training like I'm gonna do it. Just not training with the intestity that I like to put into my workouts.

I'm scared. I have one heart. If I push myself to hard, the way I like to, well .... I know this thyroid thing is gonna pass, and the road to recovery is just a few short weeks away.

So, I'm taking things as slow as I can with the final goal - to be at the start line in Kentucky on race day.

Part of me thinks, I won't be doing my best but that's rubbish. Please remind me that I said that because on August 30th, in that moment, I will give it my all, the all that I have. And at the finish line I will see my friend Dennis and Caroline and anyone else who decides to stay up because it will be late. But I will finish in 17 hours.

Hey Dennis, this doesn't get you off the hook. I will pass you in an Ironman. The day will come when you either won't pass me on the bike or I will catch you on the run. Ah, I'm smiling just thinking about it. :)

CONGRATULATIONS MATTHEW!!!

2009-03-15T13:24:00.005-06:00

For taking Team Illinois Freshman Sophmore/140 pound - State Wrestling Championship!!!

We're so proud of you! :)

Let the Madness Begin!

2009-03-15T07:37:00.006-06:00

This is my year. It's been 10 years since I began the madness and this year, 2009, is my year to win it all.

I can feel it. I will pick the underdogs and the champions in the right order and I will be crowned the winner, finally, of Team T.E.A. March Madness.

It's gonna feel so good. I should just call the family now and tell them not to come. Why should the bother. :)

Brotherhood

2009-03-12T07:58:00.011-06:00

I've been trying to define my relationship with the trimates. Why put a label on anything? Not sure why I do this. I've always gotta be thinking about something. Dissecting, pulling it apart.

Yesterday it hit me. It's a brotherhood. These are a bunch of great people, who have shared an experience with me and we will forever be tied together by that experience.

The nice thing about the relationship is we get to see each other at our best. We are doing things that we really enjoy. Instead of at our annoying worst. Like trying to get dinner on the table, help the kids with their homework, and fold the last load of laundry, all at the same time.

Now, are they someone I would bother if I needed to talk at 2 a.m.? - um, nope. I can actually picture if I did do that to some of them, how they would politely end the conversation before it even started :) Besides, I have Patty for that.

life is good.

This is What the Doctor Said ....

2009-03-10T09:59:00.006-06:00

..... No racing. No endurance sports. Not for at least 7 weeks. Your body is being taxed. It's fighting itself. Why would you want to push it further? Your thyroid is hot. We need to cool it down. Take the beta blockers, the antithyroid meds for 6 weeks. Come back, we'll see if it's cool enough to take the radioactive iodine.

With a huge lump in my throat I tell her I have an Ironman this summer.

What's that?

Ok, she needs to get out more cause even my mother knew what an Ironman is.

I explain it to her and mid sentence she cuts me off and repeats herself. Then she asks when is it again?

I don't feel like crying anymore and tell her late August. Oh, she says, oh you can go to that, you'll be fine in August. Nothing for at least 7 weeks though. I'm thinking she has no clue what you need to do to get to the start line at the end of August.

I tell her I need to do something. If I keep my heart rate low can I walk and ride? Yes she tells me but don't get it above the 120's.

Ok coach Doug. I'm going to test those words you used to tell me all the time. It's going to be a long, slow 7 weeks.

I'm doing my best to keep all this in perspective. It's hard tho, as much as I hate to admit training, running, swimming and biking defines me, it actually does. It is a piece of my big picture. So to not do it, not by choice but by being ordered not to, well ..... I'm trying to keep it all perspective.

What the F

2009-03-03T11:32:00.010-06:00

I won't finish that sentence.

As a follow up to last weeks post, I have to say I'm extremely aware of my vocabulary. So much so I've given up swearing for lent. Which is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

Today I read Project Procrastination. She is hilarious. Here's a link to her post http://projectprocrastination.blogspot.com/

While commenting on her post a saw a reference to this Bud Light commercial.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJJL5dxgVaM

These two things definitely make me feel better about what happened last week, but I must say SI's email was what set me ease. I'm still laughing. Oh, not gonna share it with you, I deleted it cause he didn't want to offend anyone. :)

I Hate Whining

2009-03-02T00:10:00.006-06:00

I was gonna write about doubt but after reading it I erased it. Instead I'm gonna write about 2006.

Actually I think all this started in 2005. Just before I qualified for the Boston marathon at the Chicago Marathon in 2005, I ran a 5k. I did it just for fun. I ended up coming in 1st in my age group. 22:22. It was my fastest 5k. I was so excited I could have floated home.

Then something strange happened in 2006. Something to this day I'm still trying to figure out. (because I can never accept anything at face value) I podiumed in just about every race I ran. It was the strangest thing. I felt as if I had fallen into the Twight Light Zone of 40 something female running. Why would I feel this way? Because I've always run just for fun. I'm the person that starts in the back and just kind of goes. So to come in 1st, 2nd or 3rd in my a/g was kind of hard to grasp. Now understand that I kept it all in perspective, I knew it wasn't the world championships or the Olympics but it was still an accomplishment I never expected or for some reason ever felt comfortable with.

I miss it. I just miss running fast. The speed training. The tempo runs. The hill repeats. I loved going as fast as I could push myself.

I've been blessed with so much since having the kids. Am I selfish to want to be the fastest soccer mom on the block again?

It's tough accepting that right now 12 minute miles are as fast as it's gonna be.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

2009-02-25T16:15:00.018-06:00

So in the late 90's I worked with a girl who was just out of high school. She was our physician's order tracker. Every morning we would talk before she headed back to her desk. Well, she loved the show South Park. And the mornings after the show would air she'd come in and talk endlessly about how funny the show was. I'm thinking, huh, I gotta see this show. So, one night while channel surfing I come across it and was stunned. Completely shocked. The language was raw to say the very least.

So, the next day my friend walks in and I tell her I saw the show. She's laughing and reciting what was said the night before and I stop her and tell her I thought it was the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Yes, I can be a bit of a prude. I continue by saying there is no way children talk like that. She insists that from the time she was in kindergarten the children in her neighborhood (a nice suburb southwest of Chicago) talked like the kids on the program. I argued with her profusely. I usually let things roll but I insisted there was absolutely no way small children use that language. I didn't even consider using the "4" letter words until 5th grade. And that was mild stuff like crap, sh@! (see I don't even want to spell shit), and every 1975 5th graders favorite, asshole.

Well, my dear karma just bit me right in the a@@. You know what's coming don't you. I didn't. Had no clue.

Zak's teacher Miss M. calls this afternoon to tell me that Zak has been dropping the F-bomb at school. I'm not sure what she said next because my heart skipped a beat and I lost all hearing from the embarrassment I was feeling. Apparently two other boys have also been using the word all over the place. The teacher hasn't heard Zak say it, only the 2 other boys but they are pointing their tiny little fingers right in the direction of
Z A K.

Ok, I would love to act like I had absolutely no idea where my son heard this word. It would be easy to blame the 5th grader next door, Zak's teenage cousins, the music and movies that use profanity for all to hear. But, I'd be kidding myself. I use the word when I am at my worst.

So, I will stand along side my son and we will both have our mouths washed out with soap. Yes, I'm gagging already.

And, you might be wondering why I would even admit to this? Well, it's out there. It happened. It actually makes me feel a little better confessing it so publicly. I blame my catholic up bringing for feeling this way. Maybe if I were running right now, I could run my embarrassment away and spare myself the public humiliation but I'm not. It's hard to jog away from humiliations, it's quicker than a 12 minute pace. UGH! So that's that.

No Caffeine

2009-02-19T11:15:00.013-06:00

No caffeine. Nope, none. I've noticed that even with the heart meds, the caffeine just sends the HR soaring. So as of today I will no longer be having any icy cold coca cola or warm Cinnamon tea.

I'm wondering, when things return to normal, and the doc tells me they will, will I return to my nasty caffeine habit? Or am I going to learn to live without it.

A few weeks back when I couldn't sleep I watched the movie Gone Baby Gone. It was a good movie, a little disturbing. It got me to thinking is there really such a thing as a "life changing experience".

My sister and Debs looked at me as if I was crazy and then started spewing examples at me. But I just can't help but think that when the "life changing experience" happens things change for a while but then we just go back to our old ways? Is death the only life changing experience we experience?

Huh, I wrote all this just because I stopped drinking caffeine.

Please don't misunderstand me for being some cold, dishearted person. I'm just wondering. Cause Debs and Patty didn't sell me on this.

Am I Glowing? All Kinds of Stuff

2009-02-17T11:02:00.012-06:00

Friday 2/13
I guess I should really write February 2001. That was when my sister and I first had Dove chocolate hearts. Ok, I'm gonna ramble now. In 2001 Patty went to her yearly eye doc checkup. Patty has terrible vision. Anyway, the doc thought he saw a weakening of some blood vessels. Did some more tests and sent her to a specialist because he was certain Patty had a brain aneurysm. I was sick with worry. It was a long 2 week wait for her to have her tests done and then to get the results. During that time, of course we both went to work. We both worked in the city, she was in the loop at the time, I was on the west side. I worked crazy hours. I never got out of work before 5, ever. But one day as luck would have it, I left around 4 p.m. Also, I never took the train. I hate the train. To sit with all those people, coughing, sneezing, bumping you, I HATE THE TRAIN. But on this day I was leaving early and Scott was working late so I took the train and by some twist of fate, Patty was off early and she ended up on the same one. Literally we walked into each other getting on. It was awesome. We found a seat and she just so happened to have a bag of Dove Milk Chocolate hearts. We ate and laughed about nothing the entire ride home. We ate the whole bag. It was wonderful. It's one of my favorite memories I have with her. I didn't hate the train that day. So the point of 2/13/09? Patty was home from work so I went to Walgreens and got a bag of Dove Hearts and went to see her. It was good. We only ate about 5 hearts each though. (?) Hmmm, I must have eaten a big breakfast.

Thursday 2/12 - Friday 2/13
I went for Thyroid Uptake and Scan on the Thursday. Doc wanted to see what's going on in there and she said this is the best way to do it. So at 7:45 a.m. on Thursday I found myself in the radiology department of the hospital, in a sealed room taking some radioactive iodine. It left me with really creepy feeling. I was wondering if I was going to start glowing green. The radiologist told me to come back at 1:30 for my test. So I did. It took about 20 minutes. It was kind of like have a really long x-ray taken. 3 times. When I was leaving I saw my pictures on the computer and asked the radiologist if that was my thyroid? Honestly, that was all I wanted to know. Yup, he tells me and then says "see it looks like a butterfly an is now flying away" and then clicks it off the screen. Then nearly pushed me out of the room. Ok, he needs a lesson on how to be a descent human being. Not even "nice" just descent. Friday I went back for 5 minutes. I think just to make sure all the radioactive iodine is out of my system. It must have been cause I got to leave right after the test.

Tuesday 2/10
I couldn't stand my heart racing for another minute so I told the doc I wanted to start the beta blockers. I picked them up from the pharmacy at night and took it immediately. I felt like a meth addictive needing a fix. Then I waited. I picked up Gracie from dance and still waiting. I probably asked myself every 5 minutes if I thought I was feeling better. Then Scott took over that question asking for me. Are you feeling better now? How about now? Is it working? Can you feel it now? Well, by the time I went to bed it was working. I couldn't feel my heart pounding. It was such a relief. Until about 10 a.m. the next morning. When the pounding and anxiety started up again. I wrote it off to I probably have to have the meds build up in my system. By the week-end it didn't even feel like I was taking anything. The relief I felt earlier was gone. What the heck is happening to me?

Sunday 2/15
The heart was racing but I was determined to jog with the kids. I was able to go 2 miles with them and the jog out 5 miles, average 10:40 pace and kept and average heart rate of 142. It felt so good. Got say every step I made was a conscious one. I was proud that I could maintain a consistant pace and a fairly consistant HR. But then I could get the HR to come down. I managed to keep it in the 90's while getting dinner on the table and during our wii bowling tourney - I won the second game! Of course it went up when I was jumping up and down :)

Monday 2/16
Called the doc and asked for an increase in heart meds. I never in a million years thought I would have to take heart meds. Ok, I know it's temporary. She told me she got the results of my test and my entire thyroid is enlarged with nodules on it. I need to decide on what type of treatment route I want to take. Honestly, I don't like either one because I'm probably going to have to take a pill for the rest of my life. But, it's not like it's going to interfere with my lifestyle. I can still run and be a wife and mother and be happy. So it's all good. Now, which one should I pick. I told the doc I'll tell her by the end of the week.

Oh! Oh my gosh. I almost forgot the high light of my Sunday. We were walking into church and the usher asked us to carry the gifts to the alter. I was so excited. I had to keep myself in check and it took a lot to just listen to the Homily. Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to carry the gifts up. Well, I didn't get to carry but I got to walk with Scott behind the kids as they carried the wine and host. Ah, life is good. :)

Gracie n Me

2009-02-10T15:00:00.006-06:00

6:00 a.m.

I woke up Sunday with my heart pounding. I was supposed to meet Caroline and Dennis for a trail run.

6:05 a.m.

Gracie comes in and lays down with me. I stay with her until she falls back to sleep.

6:23 a.m.

I'm still on the computer looking at Facebook. Which I hate, there's way to much going on. So I know I'm stalling and not going for a run.

7:00 a.m.

Scott finds me in front of the T.V. Aren't you running? I just shake my head no. Why he asks and all I can say is I'm afraid because of my heart. He tells me not to be afraid and I just shake my head yes.

7:28 a.m.

I call Care and get her voice mail. I'm relieved and I leave a cheerful message saying I won't be there.

7:29 a.m.

I start thinking what if Care doesn't have her phone with her so I call Dennis. On the 3rd ring I realize he's going to pick up cause I could be his wife calling to say the baby is on the way. CRAP I think to myself. Sure enough he picks up. I start babbling out some excuse why I won't be there. He says something, I say something and start choking on my words. Tell him I gotta go and before he can say anything I hang up on him.

7:30 a.m.

Dennis calls me back. I don't answer. Yes, I know this looks bad, not answering. I was crying and Scott was there with me telling me it's ok. I think about calling Dennis back. I'm not crying anymore. I have the phone in my hand and he beats me to it. I answer and try to act calm and cool and tell him he needs to get off the phone his wife could be trying to call him. He asks if I'm ok and I choke up again and explain my fears. I tell him not to worry that I'll be kicking his ass down Lake Shore Drive this summer, I just gotta take things a little easy. (Sound familar?) No problem he says.

7:33 a.m.

I hang up and start crying again. This time because I know I have 2 really good friends.

12:15 p.m.

I want to run. I gotta run. Just take it slow. I have a new Sunday running partner now. My daughter Grace wants to come with me. :)

12:30 p.m.

We are out running and she tells me she wants to run to the hotels (which are the 4 story condos by our house) Ok, that's good. She makes it 2 miles. We stop occassionally. We walk and hold hands and talk nonsense talk.

1:00 p.m.

It was the best 2 mile warm up I've ever run.

1:05 p.m.

I'm running by myself. I try to pick up the pace just a little but pull back cause I can feel the heart just pounding. I'm able to get 5 more miles in.

3:30 p.m.

I check the Garmin. 7 miles in 1 hour 25 minutes. Average heart rate - 179. My first thought is that sucks.

I thought IMOO taught me to be kinder to myself. I was wrong. So, I'm going to take this whole thyroid thing and have it teach me the lesson again. The run really didn't suck. It was a beautiful afternoon. I have a new running partner. And, Doug always told me, it's the long, slow, steady runs that make you faster. Thankfully, he never defined slow.

Oh, don't forget - you still have a day and a half left to Shop n Share.

Shop n Share

2009-02-08T06:25:00.001-06:00

My friend Michelle is battling liver cancer. She's winning! :)

Her sister and friends have organized a Jewel Shop and Share. Please click the link to get your shop and share coupon! http://www.michellesracetorecovery.com/shop_share.html

If you aren't familiar with Shop and Share, then let me explain. All you need to do is shop at Jewel on 2/9, 2/10 or 2/11, get the items you need and when you pay for them present the cashier with the coupon below. Yup, it's that simple. A portion of what you spent will go to a fund to help with all the expenses that have been incured during Michelles battle. How easy is that? Well, I'll make it even easy for you.... Jewel is having some great deals this week!

Here's the link to this weeks savings http://jewelosco.shoplocal.com/jewelosco/default.aspx?action=nuep&adref=jewel_osco_homepage

Hyperthyroidism

2009-02-06T09:14:00.005-06:00

Ok, for the past several months I've been dealing with this lump in my throat. Well that's the way I've referred to it. It's actually a lump on my neck. Which is actually nodules on my thyroid.

When I first discovered the lump I freaked out. It was on my birthday. WOE, what is that? I thought. The hubby confirmed he felt something too, I called the doc.

After blood work and an ultrasound, it was determined my thyroid gland was enlarged and I'm now hyperthyroid. The bad news was I'm not the hyperthyroid that makes you nice and skinny. Just one of my hormones was elevated. The moody one not the weight one.

Thank goodness.

Well, around Christmas the lump seemed bigger. It felt like I could feel it in my throat when I was running or biking. Checked with the hubby .... again .... and he told me I was freaking him out so I called the doc .... again.

Ok, I'm babbling here. Had another ultrasound and there are now 3 nodules on the thyroid. Again, the doc isn't concerned. She is keeping an eye on it. I go back to see her in 6 weeks.

Here's my point! And it sucks!! Hyperthyroidism causes an increased heart beat. My heart has been racing all over the place. I lay down at night and it feels like my heart is going to beat right out of my chest. I have gone from a resting heart rate of 56 to 73. Now for some, 73 is good. But for me, well, that's starting zone 2. When you're laying down and wanting to relax but your heart is acting like you are up and doing the laundry, it's hard to still your mind to fall asleep.

Well, I'm still training. It actually takes my mind off of this whole thing. I have to say if there is a positive to all of this its I don't get as cold as usually do. And many of us know it has been cold outside, really cold! I would rather be cold and have a normal heart rate. My normal. Huh, I never thought I would be happy with "my normal" I'm trying to keep it all good. :)

Let's Just Suppose ....

2009-02-02T08:45:00.011-06:00

You were watching the big game and you wanted the underdog to win.

You always root for the underdog. That's why you never win March Madness.

Let's just say gambling was legal in your fine state. But you know it's not. And you would never do anything illegal. But if it were you would play one of those pool games where you get numbers for both teams and then wait until the end of each quarter to see if your numbers match the score.

Let's just say the game gets to be to much to watch cause your team is losing. So you clean up the mess from the nachos and guacomole, get your daughter in the shower while giving your son a hair cut and then get your son in the shower while getting your daughter in clean jammies, then get your son in his clean jams and give him his breathing treatment. Your kids are now ready for bed, so you start sweeping the floor and notice that the game is in the 4th quarter and there is only a minute left. You are amazed because the underdog is now winning! You are upset because the other team has the ball and enough time to score. You start rooting for the defense to stop the drive until you realize that if the other team puts 7 points on the board you win the football pool.

I imagine the last 60 seconds would be tortore for you. Do you want the money? Or the fan glory?

Ok, now what would you do with the money? Would you pay for Masters swimming? Or your kids soccer?

Saturday Stuff

2009-01-31T09:29:00.010-06:00

I found this little blurb on the internet so interesting. Why? Well, a couple of reasons ....
1. Someone took the time to report that someone else put their clothes on backwards.
2. Angelina Jolie actually put her clothes on backwards.
3. Zak has been putting his clothes on backwards for weeks now and I keep yelling at him to put them on the right way and Scott keeps yelling at me that no one is going to notice. Well, I guess some people do :)

I've been worrying about this man ever since he landed the plane in the Hudson River. Why?

Our country has a habit of turning hero's into villains. The hero does something great. Over the weeks following the event, their life is picked apart until some human mishap turns them back to the mortal human that they are. THANKFULLY, Mr. Sullenberger has avoided all of that nonsense. At least I think he has.

Times must be tough up at the Wisconsin Dells. We go to there with Scott's football group every winter. It's a good time. We won't be going this year. In the 2007 we spent $109 a night and in 2008 it went down to $99 a night for a nice room and all the indoor water park action you can stand. Well, I'm not sure what The Glacier Canyon resort was thinking but they've upped the ante this year. $249 a night. Oh, that does include a nice greasy breakfast or dinner buffet on the morning or night of your choice. Just one morning or night tho. Needless to say we are passing on the trip this year. Instead of going we're going to take the money that was set aside and join one of the local community pools for the summer. I think I'm more disappointed than the kids about not going. I was really looking forward to running down those dark halls again.

I missed registration for the Shuffle. My tri-mate sent me a message letting me know the race closed this week. My procrastination helped me make up my mind. I've gotta find a local race me and the pre-school moms can do. Maybe I can talk them into doing the du. I love that race. I think they would too.

Well, I'm off to the last soccer game of the season. The kids keep calling it the "Championship Game" I don't have the heart to remind them they've only won 1 game this season. It's all good.

I Can Not Believe It ....

2009-01-28T16:01:00.010-06:00

Ok, I can't believe it. Truly, I'm just so frustrated.

I have a cold!

This sucks! I usually feel something coming on but not this one. Oh no. This one side swiped the bageezes out of me yesterday. Aches, chills, sore throat. The kids are looking at me as if some strange entity has taken over my voice. I sound possessed. So, training has stalled. And quite honestly, I don't think over training brought this on. Why, cause I'm taking it so easy, what I'm doing really can't be called training. It's just plain fun. I'm hoping tomorrow things will start to feel better and I'll get on the trainer for a while.
H O P I N G.

In the mean time, I was up almost all of last night with coughing and burning in the throat. What's a girl to do when she can't sleep? Why channel surf of course. I stumbled across "Real House Wives of Orange County". I was shocked. Holy crap. Ok, if any poor mother working just to keep her family fed, living in a 3 room apartment wants to feel better about her life, she should watch this show. I turned this program off, after watching in disbelief for 2 hours, feeling so much better about what I have and who I am. Ok, might be sounding a little judgemental here but come on ladies, you're middle age, stop trying to look like your teenage daughters and cover up with a shirt or dress that fits! I guess I wasn't that disgusted by it cause I still couldn't sleep this morning and watched it again! Utto, I might be addicted. Deal or No Deal has just been replaced.

Habits

2009-01-26T15:14:00.004-06:00

So I've read that it takes 42 days for a habit to form.

42 long days.

Let's see that is 1008 hours, if my math is corret that's 60480 minutes.

It's week 4 of my training. Only week 4. Geeze, I can't believe I'm only in week f o u r. Time is dragging. And this isn't even official training, this is get your butt in gear and get used to moving again training.

UGH!

Stop complaining. Keep moving. It's all good.

Now, I need to start working on my house cleaning habits. Now that would make my mom happy and probably me a little happier too. Heck, I would be happy with making my bed every morning.

Ok, one thing at a time. Get back on the training wagon first. :)

To Shuffle or Not to Shuffle

2009-01-25T13:35:00.012-06:00

The Shamrock Shuffle in Chicago has grown to the point of absolute ridiculous proportions. I believe the race director now allows 35,000 people to participant in a 5 mile run. Well, it's not exactly 5 miles but it's pretty close.

I used to run this race in the 90's. Back when the run was on the closest week-end to St. Patrick's Day. It was much smaller back then. Maybe 3,000 people. Maybe. A lot of runners would be up the night before celebrating the Irish holiday. They would re-celebrate during the 1st mile or 2 of the run. Reliving all that they had taken in the night before only during the run it was coming back up in just a matter of seconds. It was never a pretty site. You could be guaranteed to see at least 10 participants hurling on the side of the road. After seeing this several years in a row and having the race grow each year, I stopped running it.

Well, it's 2009 a couple of the pre-school moms asked me to run it with them. I love these guys. They're funny and very down to earth. So, I guess I have a 2 ways to look at this,

1. Run in a race that is so over crowded that I will probably walk the 1st mile and then elbow my way thru the rest of the miles.

or

2. Go into the city, laugh on the drive down, hang out with 3 people I like being around, and then drive home probably laughing all the way home.

Hmmmm, I still don't know what to do ....

Stuff ...

2009-01-20T13:43:00.010-06:00

I seem to be finding a lot to write about lately.

I got a pair of Ugg knock offs for Christmas from my mom. In general, I get cold. Really, really cold, really fast. I've seen girls wearing these boots for a while now but always thought 2 things, 1. They are the ugliest boots ever. 2. I wouldn't never pay that much money for those boots. (Well, now that I'm a mom and not working I wouldn't pay that much money) But I always wondered, are they as warm as they look? Well, the knock offs are. If I could sleep in them I would, but they're pretty dirty now, so I won't. If you seem walking around in my boots, remember, I'm not trying to be hip and cool, yes I know they don't have the little UGG tag on the back and yes, my feet are warm and toasty. Oh, the negative to them - they have no traction what so ever. I guess that's what happens when you only pay $34.99.

We switched cable/internet service a couple of weeks back. The TV package included a dvr. Holy smokes. This little thing is my new best friend. I love this thing. I've been recording everything and anything I can think of and then deleting it cause I really don't want to watch it. I am keeping the yoga stuff though. After getting this I've realized I need to write USA Network a letter asking them to stop playing the same 20 episodes of House over and over. I guess they don't realize House is in it's 6th season, if there are 24 episodes in a season, then they have 120 episodes to pick from (I'm not inculding the current season which isn't finished with the year yet.)

I'm trying not to buy bottled water. SI suggested that I consider buying filters. So Scott and I were in Costco last week. We find the Brita water pitcher and I'm thinking this would be a good start. We take it home and follow the directions. I'm excited cause I know this is the answer to my problem. About 3 hours after refrigerating the water I drink a glass. Hmmm, not to bad, I guess. Well, by Sunday night I wasn't being nice. It was AWEFUL!!! We have some hard water where I live. Our water softner is set as high as it can go. Not because we like setting it that high but because if we don't we'll be replacing our shower heads, dish washer and washing machine every other year. Yes, it's that hard. So, I'm gonna have to find something a little more industrial if I want to go "green" and save our landfills.

Thankfully we had 1 more 2.5 gallon jug of "good" water left. I'm drinking that now. I'm thinking I'm gonna run the water thru the pitcher twice for a while. You know, fill the pitcher from the tap, pour the water out of the pitcher into another pitcher and then pour it back into the Brita. UGH! I'll let you know if it works.

French Onion Soup

2009-01-19T09:07:00.012-06:00

I tried bowling on Saturday afternoon. I guess I more tried, I did. Scott came with and we met a group from the club. What a blast. There were probably about 20 of us. As the afternoon went on it became obvious why we are triathletes and not bowlers. :)

As usual Scott and I turned on the competitive switch. He beat me the first game but I came back and beat him the second :) Combined score I beat him by almost 20 pins. :) :) I couldn't let him beat me, I would never hear the end of it if he did.

My mom had the kids for the night so we went to dinner afterwards. The streets were snowy and icy but that didn't stop people from going out. All the restaurants were packed. After trying several we ended up at Houlihans. We sat at the bar, something we never do and talked. Scott tried this lemonade cherry vodka drink that was soooo good. I stuck with my Coca Cola. I had my one beer for the day. Dinner was good. I had a chill so I order French Onion Soup with my burger and mashed potatoes. I wanted some extra carbs for Sunday's run.

The soup was a mistake. That's all I'm gonna say. I won't go into detail. Almost didn't go to the run. Probably shouldn't have gone to the run. But I must say. It's the 1st time I've run 7 miles in a long, long time and I felt good. Even with the hills and the snow and the stomach issues. I felt really good out there. I even had the courage to check my splits on the Garmin when it was all done and I managed to kick out a couple 9:40 miles. I did have to break away from the group at about 5.5. My stomach was out of control. Like I said above, I won't go into detail but let's just say what I had to do is something I would NEVER even consider unless I had to do it. I'm just hoping I don't end up on U tube tomorrow.

No one has sent me anything so I think I'm safe. I'm never eating French Onion Soup again. UGH! Week 3 of training is starting now. Well, base training. I wrote last week official training starts today. Well, I don't which Ironman I thought I was doing cause official training for Louisville doesn't start until March 1st. :) I was never good at guessing. So, I will continue to ride the trainer 3 times a week, run 3 times a week and swim once a week. The swimming will increase. Slow and steady. Hmmm. I've heard that before. It'll all be good.

Friday, January 14, 1994

2009-01-15T13:10:00.010-06:00

It was cold that day. Really, really cold. A lot like today.

What do I remember most about that day ....

Scott kissing me goodbye when he left for work, it wasn't like his usual kiss.

I was leaving for Disney world, my first marathon. It was difficult to go because I knew that when I came home my life wasn't going to be the same life I had.

Picking my mom, Patty, Keri and all the kids up and heading to the airport.

Jessica, in her little tiny high pitched 6 year old voice saying, "there's uncle Scott." and me laughing to myself because Scott was at work. 12 feet underground, preparing for a new parking garage to go up. I was wrong, there he was, standing there at the security check point, Carharts on, just standing there. The cold cancelled work. I choked up. I kissed him again, it still didn't feel the same. It's wasn't like it is now, he was able to walk me to the terminal. It was a quiet walk.

Me, Jessica and Timothy watching the plane crew defrost the wings of the plane. Wondering if I was going to get to Orlando. There was no way I could stay in Chicago, I had to get to Orlando. I was wondering if O'Hare had any luck with the planes.

Finally boarding the plane but not moving, while the crew defrosted the wings again. Was this safe? Were we ok doing this?

Getting in the air and knowing that yes, we were going to be ok. That I was going to be ok if I just took everything one step at a time. Just like the marathon.

Life will throw things at you, just to see if you are paying attention. Whether it be illness, financial crisis or the countless other things that can happen to a mundane ordinary life.

When I signed up for my first marathon I had no idea I would be leaving to complete my new journey, only to start an unexpected one when I returned home.

Being Green

2009-01-13T09:22:00.007-06:00

So, like many I've made some new year resolutions. I'm not like some, in the sense that I will not hold them to a high standard and punish myself mentally if I don't adhere to them.

With that said, I'm attempting to workout regularly, to prepare for my training schedule that is suppose to start in just one week. We all know that if you workout, water is an important piece of the workout equipment that you need. How simple right? Water comes from a facet, right in your kitchen. Everyone has a kitchen.

Well, unless you want to completely turn yourself off to drinking water, you would know not to ever drink anything that comes out of the pipes at my house. ICK! is an understatement.

So, in the past I would stock up on bottled waters. By the case. Once the cases in my garage reached 8, I would panic and build it up to at least 12. At least. I would be teased by neighbors and friends. Why so much water? Cause I need it - duh (well that and a fear of the bird flu but that's another story and my insecurities would be showing even more :)) Well, last year I saw that commercial, I'm sure many of you have seen it, the one about the landfill and the plastic bottles. I made a decision not to buy the cases of water anymore. No problem buying the 2.5 gallon jugs and filling up the insulated bottles. Yeah, well it's been a little harder than I thought it would be. How could something so simple and a basic need to humans be so hard. Am I lazy. No, I don't think so, it's just grabbing the pre-filled bottles were so much easier.

I'm ready to break down and just buy the cases again. But I would like to think I don't give up that easily. So, I'm going to keep at it. Last week, it was good. For some reason yesterday was hard. Go figure. Filling a water bottle is harder than training for an Ironman - UGH! I'll get it eventually. I hope.

Trail Blazer

2009-01-11T16:40:00.008-06:00

So the group met at the trails this morning. There were 5 of us. It was SNOWY! There was no sign of a trail, only snow.

Yikes, this was going to be tough. I told Caroline I was going to keep my pace, please go with the group and don't wait for me. I would get there eventually. Just a little after 7:30 we headed off.

I was only a few blocks from where we started and breathing heavy, this sucks I thought, we have gone all of 2 blocks and I'm tired already. SI and Gerry broke away, they made it look so easy. I was hoping they would kick the snow into some type of runnable trail but nope, we weren't that lucky.

I started singing a song that I learned in Brownies, in my head, not out loud. That would really freak out Dennis and Caroline. Yes, for some reason I still have that song in my head. Fortunately it was the mindless thought I needed and helped me fall into a trotting pattern. Unfortunately with a mindless song that 8 year olds sing, you want it out of your head almost as quickly as you put it in. So, I decided to pray. The Lords Prayer and Hail Mary. I would say each one about 10 times and then move to the next. It's amazing when your mind is taken away from the task at hand how quickly time passes. I was feeling good. The trail looked beautiful with all the snow. It was cold enough to have the branches frozen white. Nothing looked too disturbed. Holy smokes I was starting to enjoy this miserable run. My meditation run was interrupted by the occasional shout from Dennis - "Yo Pam". I couldn't see him but I could him :) I gave him a thumbs up one of the time. I found out after the run he tought I gave him the finger. Ok, nope, that's pretty funny when you think about it.

We got to the slides, SI and Gerry were there. We took a short break. SI says he's going slow. Caroline and I look at each other and crack up. Ok, if you're going slow what are we going? I announce I'm going 5.25 and no more. I'm feeling good but it's tough. I don't want to fall into the same mistakes I made last year. Doing more than I should because I'm feeling good in the moment.

When it was all done, we went 5.78 miles. I'm laughing right now because I usually won't settle for that. I have to round it up and go 6 but not today. Today I was happy to be done and couldn't wait to get out of my wet clothes.

Oh, I went to church after the run and guess what - come on guess.....

The church still has their Christmas stuff up! The tree, the nativity - all of it! I'm gonna tell my neighbor that if she asks me about my stuff this week. :)

One Day at a Time

2009-01-10T09:38:00.017-06:00

It's Saturday. In the morning. I've almost made it thru the week. I took one day off of training. Wednesday.

I'm feeling good. Changed the diet. Eating healthy again. It's funny how the Ironman made me think I could do anything and EAT anything. :)

I have a neighbor. She's a nice lady. She's perfect. We all know people like this. Perfect hair, makeup, clothing always ironed. In the summer her lawn is manicured, bushes trimmed, windows washed. In the winter the snow is shoveled from her drive and sidewalk just after it's done falling.

I don't live like that. Sometimes I wish I did. Honestly though, it just doesn't feel natural to me. That's not a cop out excuse either, it just doesn't feel right. Ok, I'm getting off track, again.....

So me and the perfect neighbor are standing together on my snow covered driveway, waiting for the kids to come home on the bus. She turns to me and asks, "So you haven't taken down your Christmas decorations yet huh?" I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing. I know it was a rather rude response but it was obvious I hadn't, they're still up - you can see them in the window. I gave her some lame excuse why I haven't. I think I'll keep em up for 2 more weeks just to see if she says something again :)

So today I will run home from soccer and do some yoga. Then we will go sledding. Tomorrow, the group is meeting at Swallow Cliff. It will either be a trail run, if the ice isn't bad or a street run. Thankfully we will have an option. I have to remember to keep my own pace. If I just remind myself of that it should be a great run.

It Was Good :)

2009-01-05T15:58:00.004-06:00

Yesterday - the run went well. Good. Really good. Was able to just run at my pace as the others trotted in front of me.

The pace picked up towards the end thanks to Mr. Randich and I hung with him for about a 1/2 mile. 2 blocks from finishing I dropped back but it was all good. It's been a while since I felt so good during and after a run.

I'm thinking I might shame myself into writing on this blog everyday. An attempt to try and keep myself accountable (publicly)to my workout program. I'm still thinking about it.

Happy New Year!

My Favorites

2008-12-31T15:05:00.007-06:00

Some of the things I heard this year and some of my favorite memories ....

______________________________

Driving down to the lake front Gil tells me ....

– “Some of my favorite childhood memories have happened in my mid 40’s”

Yeah, I know :)
______________________________

After sending the club an end of the year letter and telling them about registration for next year I got this from Dennis ....

“you had me at ‘Nice Jacket’ "

Oh, I should mention I started the letter with the fact that if you sign up for the club again you get a nice cycling jacket as part of your membership. The letter went on and on and on. I always have trouble knowing when to stop writing. If you haven't guessed that already when reading this blog.
________________________________

So Jane, Caroline, Barbara, Debbie and I stop for coffee after a run in November. Jane gets a scone and coffee. The rest of us just get a beverage. Jane offers us a piece of scone and we decline. So she says .....

"You guys probably don't eat sugar and butter huh?"

Did you hear us laughing? Cause it was loud. Very funny.

________________________________

Me, Jane, Barbara, MJ and Caroline sitting in back of SI’s Explorer, driving on dark lower Wacker drive after a swim, all of us exchanging phones numbers and giggling. I felt like I was at a 5th grade at a slumber party.
________________________________

Riding with Rick this winter, I can't believe we were able to ride in December. We were probably about 5 miles from the Speedway but there is a spot an Delany when you look west the track seems like it's a block away. I ride up to Rick to tell him I hate this part of the ride and he beats me to it. Yup, that's why I like riding with Rick :)
________________________________

I love the the Clinton Trail run. It was 30 miles of fun. Don't get me wrong. It was hard and I was hurting at about mile 21 but I have great memories from doing it.
________________________________

Rockman - nothing but good memories. Some crappy stuff happened that week-end. Tom's bike falling off the car. The weather. But the laughter and the stories we have from that week-end. I thought nothing would top IMOO and what we shared but this was a great time and one that I will tell forever.
_________________________________

Michelle's cancer returned this year. No this isn't a good memory. How someone elses cancer could suffocate me is still hard for me to understand but it did. I cried for 4 days. She is fighting it. She's winning. SHE'S WINNING!!! Fuck'n cancer. It has messed with so many, she's kicking it in the ass.
_________________________________

Seeing Sex and the City with Patty and Jessica and laughing. Then knowing I had to see it again with Deb's. Not the kind of "I had to", had to, but I wanted to had to. We could relate to a lot of what happened. Well, not that dramatic but we could relate. I guess a lot of women could, that's why it was so popular.
_________________________________

Going to Disney with Scott and the kids. We talk about the trip all the time. Somebody remembers a part that the rest of us forgot and we relive it over and over again. It was time and money well spent. :)
_________________________________

And then this. Below is a message I got yesterday in my email. I don't open stuff from people I don't know but it was comment on my post back in April on the McNaughton Trail Run.

704 Studio said...
This is an awesome race report. Some of the stuff that happened to you was Bukowskiesque, in the sense that it seems so absurd that I could not help laughing (the monkey man story, the outhouse with the creepy runner, and Larry Bird having a tree fall on him!)I am planning to run my 1st 50 mile race at McNaughton in 2009, and am reading all the reports I can find - thanks for such a thorough description and for including pics - it really gives me a sense that it is going to be a war!
December 29, 2008 9:31 PM

So why does that make me feel better? Who knows but it did. Some how it validated my experience, don't ask why. I couldn't tell you. Now, I gotta write him and ask what the heck is Bukowskiewque, cause I have know idea.
______________________________

Ok, I'm almost done. 2009 is going to be a year of living by my words. Literally. I tell anyone who tells me they could never do an Ironman that yes they could. It's just a matter of training. Well, I'm about to have to prove it cause this year I took a break. Huge breaks in my running, swimming and biking. When it was happening I beat myself up for doing it but I needed the rest. But the rest is over. If I want to complete the Ironman in August there is no more rest time. I have a lot work so I can have more memories like these.

2008

2008-12-28T09:49:00.044-06:00

Well, my year started with training for the Clinton Lakes and McNaughton trail runs. Training for these runs consumed my life. I thought it was time well spent, I loved the Clinton run. Everything about it, I loved it. Who knew that just 3 weeks later I would never want to run on a trail again?! ....

We combined our March Madness party with Easter egg painting. What a blast we had. Hmm, I know I didn't lose MM this year but I can't remember who won. I think it was someone from Patty's family.

This is a picture of the club going to the Easter ride back in April. I love this pic. It's hard to see but the riders are on the other side of the fog.

The grams and the kidlins at Gracie's dance recital. It was a perfectly rainy morning :)

Gracie, Me and Zak at the Palos 1/2 Marathon

We were blessed to go to Disney this year. Here are a couple of the many pictures that were taken ....

What did I learn at Rockman this year?

I can camp. Well at least for one night.

You don't have to go to Universal Studios to ride like E.T.

I would have missed a great time because I was afraid I wasn't ready to race. I want to eleberate on this last sentence but I already have, several times, I'll let it rest. :)

Yes, the year was fill with some of the craziest weather I have ever experienced.

Jessica and the kids. She turned 21 this year. When old people used to say time passes in the blink of an eye, well they weren't lying. Does that mean I'm old? No, I have 40 more years before I'll consider myself old. No matter what the Sam's Club greeter says.

Pretty Lily. You brought us happiness for the short time you were with us. Thank you. Zak is still sad you are gone. He has taped your picture to his school folder and sleeps with your picture at the head of his bed.

And off they went.

We have a dry erase board. I need it. Heck, I can't believe how forgetful I am. Anyway, the kids will leave messages or draw on it from time to time. Which can be a bad thing cause they'll erase what I need to remember! But it's a good thing cause they leave stuff like this behind :)

Me and my friend.

What's this? .... anyone who watches college and pro football should know what this is. It's a quarterback cheatsheet keeper :)

Scott coaches footfall. Last year we had a terrible arguement about having a winning season or playing every kid.

For some the game is about winning. Scott started coaching because when you are 10 you want to win but you also want to play and learn and have fun. When he was 10 he didn't play in the games and was treated like crap. Well, in your face old idiot coaches. He paid for college playing football. So he decided no kid should feel like he did when he was 10. Every kid would play. Every kid would have fun. We are a part of many, many football players families because of this philosophy. I just came from one of their baby showers! I'm getting off track here. For some reason last season (2007) was different tho. That's why we had the arguement. I don't care what a parent tells you, look at the kid's face sitting on the bench. Don't ask him a thing just look at his face. You'll find out if he wants to win or if he wants to play.

This year, the kids got to play. It was tough on Scott. He brought out every tool you could think of to help the kids learn. Yes, every kid did play and not just the regulated "2" plays. He won 3 games. Think what you may, I'll bet everyone of those kids will be back next year and many have already told Scott they want to play for him. And that is one of the many things I love about my husband :)

Happy Halloween! What did the kids dress up as? Well, witch/Ironman, fairy/ninja, dancer/swamp creature, I could go on but won't. They love dressing up. Halloween is just another day for them.

This year I learned that you don't need gifts at Christmas. No gifts just Ginger Bread houses and felts stockings to decorate. We had the best time. The kids didn't see presents so they didn't miss them. Well, that's my understanding of it all. We're doing it again next year. I already have my Ginger Bread house! We don't eat so it won't matter that it's a year old. It probably already is a year old so it'll be 2 years old.

This year's Christmas picture. Flower Grandma made the costumes for the kids. Like I said they love to dress up.

I'm picky weird when it comes to the Christmas picture so I will confess that this the picture to the right is the picture I wanted to use.

Zak in his truest form, being silly.

Now, I just have to figure out how to nurture it and not get crazy angry with it :)

I have a couple more things to say about 2008 but I'll leave it at this for now....

Excuse me Pam, is that your insecurities showing?

2008-12-24T12:04:00.012-06:00

I put the vote question out to the club.

I received some very nice emails back. From what I can tell, we won't be having an election.

BUT .... next year or maybe it will be 2010, an election will determine the next leader.

Honestly, way back in October 2007 an election did take place. It was determined I would be the leader, SI vice president, Laura secretary, Tom treasurer and it was written in stone. It was at that time SI agreed to take over things in 2009. Thanks for reminding me SI. I do remember it now and even think I have something written down to that affect but I'm learning that children turn your memory to mush.

Bernie, thank you for asking that question. It was a legitimate one. All bases should be covered and everyone should have a voice.

I told my sister what happened and she asked me "don't you wish we weren't so sensitive to things?"

No, I'm glad I'm so sensitive. I may turn nothing into something sometimes but I can say that when I feel pain, it hurts and when I feel joy, happiness, total and complete elation, well it doesn't get any better than that.

And now, I feel PEACE.

Tomorrow, well ..... :)

God bless and Merry Christmas.

Why No Vote? That's a Shitty Thing

2008-12-23T08:54:00.007-06:00

Last night I swam with the group.

One of the coaches, who I completely respect, and I'm not just saying that cause I found out he reads this blog, asked me - "Why no vote?" Meaning why wasn't there a vote for a person to replace me when I left the club.

WOW, where did that question come from? I mean, why didn't I think of that?

He deserved an honest answer. I just told him, I didn't think of having a vote. I went on to say more but as I was talking I was wondering how could have missed not letting the club have a say in the whole thing. I have about 10 excuses to that question but that's all they are my excuses.

For some reason I keep hearing my brother tell me, "that was a really shitty thing you did". I think shitty things are done intentionally and this wasn't intentional. I would like to think that anyone who knows me, KNOWS I would never intentionally do a shitty thing. But I must say right now I'm feeling shitty.

Sorry for the bad language. There's just no other way to describe it.

12/15 - 12/21/08

2008-12-21T19:16:00.013-06:00

Monday

Gracie's first day back to school since the surgery. We have an ice storm the night before. I tell her I'm going to drive her to school, her first day back and all and she starts to cry. She wants to take the bus.

I make a final attempt to find a 4XL woman's coat at Burlington Coat Factory. And I found one!!! All the stores at the mall go to 3XL. That's it. The store outside the mall had a 5XL and the sales woman tries to convince me to buy it. That would suck, getting the next size bigger as a Christmas present. I would be really pissed if that happened to me.

Tuesday

I have lunch with the girls from high school. We laugh our way thru burgers at Wild Fire in Oak Brook. I'm blessed to still talked to such great people. Care and I drive home just as the next snow storm starts to hit. I'm 3 minutes late getting the kids off the bus. Thankfully I have several favors and I called one in on the neighbor up the street.

Wednesday

I brought the kids their presents. Every year we get 2 childrens names from the Chicago Suntimes. I'm thinking I'm ahead of the game getting the gift down there on Wednesday until I'm getting ready to leave and get the address from the letter and discover the gifts are due TODAY!!! UGH! I start thinking OMG what if I waited until tomorrow or worse Friday! Don't ask me why I think this way. Fortunately I get down there by 10 a.m. I love, LOVE delivering to the school! Last year, we delivered to children in a very poor neighborhood. I didn't feel safe. I was in the heart of the west side of Chicago. I've never seen a drug deal before but if I wasn't mistaken there was one happening on the corner as we left the school. Well, this year we were south of the city, near the lake. It was a poor neighborhood but nothing like last year. I have to say, every time I deliver the presents I get a gift bigger and better than anything that could be wrapped. I'm met with warm smiles, HUGE hugs and a thank you that is big enough to last a life time. I was smiling that feel good smile the rest of the day

Thursday

Busy, busy, busy ....

The kids have their Christmas program in the morning. The grandma's arrive around 9:00 and we leave at 9:15. We end up waiting in the car because the school thought it was a good idea to have senior citizens and mothers with small children waiting outside. We were let in the school 5 minutes before the program. Once inside, I find the grandma's a seat and then stake my spot in the back for the best video taping.

After the amazing performance ;) I blow lots of kisses to the kids and then the grams and I go for some breakfast. We eat and talk and laugh until 12:00! Yikes, I had to be back to the school at 12:15 so I can volunteer for Gracie's class.

12:20, I arrive to help the children make ornaments for Christmas. The teacher is worried the ice/snow storm predicted is going to cancel school tomorrow, so we make 2 kinds ornaments today. I love helping in Gracie's class. All the girls come and give me a big hug when I get there and when I leave I'm met by a choir of "Thank you Gracie's mom!" Gracie's mom. Zak's mom. There are times I still can't believe it. I'm a mom.

It's my mom's birthday so the family heads over to my mom's house for dinner. On the way there I pick up a Bakers Square Candy Cane Pie. If you like pepperminty stuff then you will love this pie! It has chocolate in it too! mmmmmmm :) We are home by 8:30 and the kids are in bed by 9.

Friday

I wake up at 5:30. Scott's coming back in the house. Work is cancelled thanks to the 2 inches of ice that has now covered the outside surfaces. I go on-line to check if school is closed, it isn't. And then check my email. I find a message from the tri-club president. Literally a chill runs down my spine and I feel panic. I stepped aside from representing the club but hadn't announced it to everyone yet. Part of me didn't want to. Part of me wanted to hang on to it as long as I could. Well, then why step aside you ask, well, honestly it was time for a change. The club was growing and we needed a new face. I had been doing it for 3 years now. I've grown to think of these people as family. When I write or say I love them, I really do. They deserved a change. Well, Danny was indirectly telling them before I could. So, did the best I could and put together a short email explaining things and sent it off to cyberspace. Then went downstairs and bawled on Scott's shoulder for about 10 minutes. I'm still a part of the club but I just let my "tri-mate kids" go. SI is going to do a great job.

Thankfully I had Zak's class party to go to and help with. I love helping in his class. Completely different than Gracie's. I get one hug. Ok, 2 hugs. One from Zak, one from the little girl who rides the bus with the kids. These children love to play LOUD! That's fine with me. Children should play loud. When I left I was met with the choir of thank you "Mrs. Erickson" :) Wait, I think they said "Merry Christmas Mrs. Erickson!"

Saturday

Kids had soccer! Oh yeah. This is a blast to watch. 14 children all trying to kick the ball at once. For 40 minutes. Yup, it's good. Unfortunately our team lost. It's funny tho. They are at an age where the care for all of, oooo, let's say 5 minutes. Then it's time to get a juice box and treats. Then go home and play in the snow. I ran home from the game. Almost 4 miles. I didn't do a straight shot home. Saw a friend that I worked with while I was running. It gave a me nice boost to see someone.

Went to Costco in the afternoon. Let me just say that even tho they have food handouts at Costco, I was starving by the time we finished paying for our stuff. I think I inhaled a Costco hot dog and some coca cola. Mmm, that sounds good right now, some Coca Cola.

Later Saturday night I went shopping with Patty. I always tease her that she's keeping the economy going. She always tells me she only spends when I'm with her. Hmmm. We stopped at Best Buy to price compare TV's. I'm almost certain we will be buying one from Costco.

Sunday

I guess I should start this in Saturday. Dennis writes me - are you going if the weather is crappy? Meaning am I running Sunday morning if it's wicked cold like the weather forecast is predicting? Yup I tell him. What he doesn't know or remember is it was just about a year ago I said I would go run with him and SI but didn't show because of the weather. I regretted it. Honestly, it's stuck with me for a whole year. There was no way I wasn't going to show. Even if I ran by myself I was ok with that.

I'm at the run spot 10 minutes early. The Forest Ranger kicks me out of the parking lot so he can finish plowing. I park at the enterence and who pulls up, SI. Oh, yeah! I will be able to right the wrong from last year. Dennis arrives and we go park about a mile up the street. The Forest Ranger was very diligent in removing that snow.

Here's a pic of us just before we got started. I would say don't I look scary but I'm standing with 2 men wearing masks! Oh, I normally have a face shield like SI but couldn't find it this morning. I hate that!

It was -2. Doug's words are going thru my head. There is no such thing as bad weather only bad gear. Honestly he's right. Once you get moving you warm up. The frost on my face and Dennis's eyelashes are proof of that. :) We went 4 miles. Luckily we got lost twice, nothing like trying to run a route backwards in blowing snow. If we didn't get lost we would have run less miles! It was all good. It was tough. I have a lot of work ahead of me. But it was all good. :)

Nice lashes Bubba :)

My upper lip was burning after the run. It's fine now :)

Slide Show

2008-12-14T16:22:00.014-06:00

Ok, so I put this slide show together on Tuesday. I delayed the project due to Gracie's surgery. It always takes me a while to put it together but I thought for sure I would have the entire thing done and burned to DVD by Thursday.

Well, things never go as planned. I was still trying to burn it to DVD on Saturday at 1:30 a.m. I was unsuccessful and ended up taking a bad copy that never did play on my tri-mates DVD player, along with a copy of the file on a flash stick. Fortunately Ken was able to get the file downloaded and burned. YAH!!

Here it is.

Oh, if you read my blog last week - here's a pic of me and SI running in the Jingle Bell Run. My mother was right when she warned me that my face could freeze like that, it did :) UGH - I'm looking at the picture, you can tell how slow SI is moving and I'm rolling my left shoulder, it's time to get serious about training :) :)

Jingle All the Way

2008-12-08T20:54:00.003-06:00

So I ran the Jingle Bell Run again this year. It's always cold and always fun. SI said he would run again with me. I warned him I was going to keep and 8 - 8:30 pace. He was fine with that. I wasn't, well for him, I know he can run much faster. Even with his break from training.

We warmed up, it was good. The sun was out. The sky was clear. There was wind but the buildings were blocking it. Ok, I was ready.

Off we went. It looked like just about everyone was dressed up in some type of holiday attire. SI had Santa shorts with hohoho on the back and a cap. I had on a red and green t-shirt with moose antlers. I must confess I wore the get up for the sole purpose of getting in Chicago Athlete magazine. Yes, I know, shameless.

About a half mile into the run I started asking myself when an 8 minute mile pace got so difficult. We passed the 1st mile marker. Try to keep it up I kept telling myself.

Then, SI starts talking, this was a leisurely pace for him. The conversation was light, nothing deep but what he was saying hit me. I could relate to what he was saying and for some strange reason I choked up. My eyes actually got tears in them, well maybe that was from the cold. Good thing I was out of breath while running the now 8:30 pace cause I almost started to cry. My one word, one breath answers hid my emotions well.

At the 2 mile mark I was able to swallow the lump in my throat and just be completely annoyed that I still had 1.1 miles left. It was just shortly after that that SI asked if we had passed any mile markers yet. Now I'm laughing and tell him yes, we passed 2. "Oh, I was to busy talking to notice" he says. And I thanked him for the distracting conversation.

We can see the finish now and I don't have it in me to remind him they moved the finish, we have a little farther to go than it looks. Then our photo op arrives. We get ready and just as the photog is going to take the picture, a woman in a sequenced Santa hat runs right in front of us, she's laughing and smiling. UGH - I wore this get up for nothing. OK, next year for sure.

A picture was snapped at the finish line and that was when I realized the smile on my face was frozen, for real. In the past I have written that it felt like it was frozen but Sunday morning it really was. I couldn't move my face. DOUBLE UGH! I'm afraid to see what the pic is gonna look like. Maybe it's a good thing sequent Santa ran in front of us a 1/4 mile earlier.

I finished the run with an 8:26 pace. (Now you don't have to stalk the time Dennis :) )

So we walk in the Mart and get our gear bags and find a seat. I love this race for the fact that after the run you can sit in the lobby of the Merchandise Mart and just relax. SI starts to change his shirt and "modestly" tells me not to look, so of course I turn, but not just my head I move my whole body and end up knocking over a lamp. So I didn't see him but the entire south section of the Mart got a good look at him. SORRY! Luckily the lamp wasn't broken. The girl stretching at the table next to us got a good laugh.

In the end we all enjoyed some hot chocolate that Rich's wife brought, none of us won a raffle prize - although I don't know how that happened since they kept calling number after number - oh well, next year for that too. Tom took 1st in his age group and so did Laura, oh yeah!!! Scott would have placed if he didn't run with me. Rich took 6th and believe it or not, I podiumed for the first time this year - I came in 3rd in my a/g.

Breakfast was good. And I was ready for a nap during the drive home.

I'm already strategizing for next year. The plan is to get in that goofy magazine and to keep up with SI so he can get his medal. :):)

Life is good.

Gracie

2008-12-03T16:39:00.003-06:00

Dear Friends and Family -

Thank you for all your prayers, phone calls, emails and text messages. Gracie surgery took 30 minutes tops and she's home and doing well. We are truly blessed to have you for our friends.

Love, Pam

The Queen of Worry

2008-12-01T19:25:00.004-06:00

If worrying were an Olympic event I would win the gold. I would win the gold every 4 years probably until I died and then there would be a statue made in my likeness because I am so good at worrying. I would write books on how to worry and how to improve your worrying skills. Yes, I would be rich and famous all for how well I worry.

At first I thought I was good at hiding it until I started hearing Laura comment on me worrying. Why bother hiding it. I should wear it proudly. YES world I am a worrier.

According to Webster's dictionary the definition for worrying is ....
to feel or experience concern or anxiety : fret

Yup, that's what I do alright and all right.

Gracie is getting her tonsils out along with her adenoids and having tubes put in her ears. So of course I am worrying.

When she was 15 months old she had trouble breathing. We spent the night in the ER and she was admitted to the hospital by 6 a.m. the following morning. The doc came in and told me if she continued to struggle the way she was she would be transferred to the teaching hospital he was affiliated with. She seemed to be getting a little better. Scott came by and told me to go home and shower. I felt funny leaving but I did. While I was gone Gracie felt so relaxed laying in her daddy's arms that she took a deep breath in and let it all out and then forget to breath in again. All Scott remembers is alarms going off and the the doc and nurses rushing in. All I remember is the sound of the helicopter taking her away. Following that helicopter was the longest half hour drive I've ever driven.

Obviously Grace is fine now. And I know in my heart she will be fine Wednesday evening when the surgery is over. Until then I will sharpen my worry skills and say extra prayers.

Happy Thanksgiving 2008

2008-11-27T06:54:00.001-06:00

I'm an hour and 54 minutes into the House marathon. I thought I would take a break and write a couple of things. Oh, and I am feeling a little disappointed/cheated. I just learned that the marathon is only 23 hours not 24 like I thought. Oh, well.

What am I thankful for ....

Good health.

My husband and children - my whole family.

The belly ache laugh Laura and I had on our way home Tuesday.

The conversation Caroline and I had Wednesday morning.

Running with Barbara and Jane.

My big legs that help me run and bike.

Water. Food. Cold Coca Cola - hot cinnimon tea.

This is going to sound strange, even selfish but I'm thankful that my trimates, the moo crew experienced burnout. This was a tough year for me. Oddly, having Tom, SI and even Dennis (to a certain extent) go thru went I was going thru made it a little more bareable. Actually it sucked and it's nice to see all of slowly coming out of it.

I'm thankful for Rockman. It taught me I really can finish what ever I put my mind to. I'm not a quiter. It also taught me I'm an idiot for going and doing a 1/2 Ironman with no training. That only prolonged the burnout I was feeling. I learned a lot this year.

What is Gracie thankful for? ....

The world.

For her mom. :)

My brother.

My teddy bear.

My family.

Thanksgiving.

and most of all I am thankful for my world.

What is Zak thankful for? ....

My mom. :) :)

My house.

My car.

My heart.

My vacation to Disney World.

My family.

And I'm thankful for God.

Happy Thanksgiving. :)

O M G! We Won't Be at Dinner

2008-11-25T14:49:00.004-06:00

Dear Patty -

I am sorry but Scott and I won't be at Thanksgiving dinner this year. Mom is coming by to pick up the kids. Please make sure they put their napkin on their lap and don't give them anything unless they say please and finish with thank you.

Scott and I will be spending all day and all night in front of the TV. I just learned there is a House marathon on USA network. If you could send some dinner over, oh lets say around 2 that would be great. You know what I like, Scott likes dark meat, potatoes, green beans and stuffing.

Just send dessert with the kids when mom brings them home.

I know you'll understand us not being there and all. This is a once in a life time 24 hours we just can't miss.

Love,

Just Because You Can - Does That Mean You Should?

2008-11-24T08:55:00.007-06:00

I found myself asking that question on Sunday.

Ugh, as usual I've been fighting a cold but I decided to meet the gang Sunday morning. We have had a great turnout lately. I've gone the last 2 weeks with the intention of running just a few miles and ended up doing almost 6 each time, so this week I vowed to only run 2, a mile out and a mile back and then walk the steps until my friends returned.

Well, we got started and I was checking the Garmin about every other minute. I reached my mile mark just about mid way up the first twisting climbing miserable hill. SO, did I stop? Nope. I can't stop on a hill. I kept going. I thought, well, Barbara said she wanted to run 3 miles. I would run another 1/2 mile and turn around with her.

I'm still checking my Garmin. But now I'm talking to Ken. We have a nice conversation. I stop checking the Garmin. Before I know it we're at 104th avenue. Pat is cracking me up and I realize I have gone well over what I said I was going to do. I'm thinking that's ok, I'm keeping pace with these guys there's no reason I can't do 5.75 this morning and then my voice of reason starts screaming at me -

"HEY, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? YOU HAVEN'T EAT'N BREAKFAST, YOU HAVE NO WATER WITH YOU AND YOU'RE GETTING OVER YET ANOTHER COLD!!! GET OFF THIS TRAIL AND STICK TO YOUR PLAN!!! NOW!!!"

So, I decided to listen. I took a huge short cut and went just about 4 miles. I walked the last 1/2 mile and then did 3 turns on the steps. And I felt great afterwards. Last night I wasn't stiff at all and this morning same thing. No stiffness, no stuffy head just a little cough.

I wanted to beat myself up when I broke away from the group and shortened my route. I felt like an idiot walking up those steps but I kept telling myself this is what I need to do. And this morning I'm really glad I did. :)

Friends / Enemies

2008-11-18T10:31:00.028-06:00

My Friends ....

My family. I'm not one of those mom's that wants to be friends with my kids but I don't want to be a tyrant either. Of course the hubby is my best friend.

Here's my brother, me and my sister. Patty is my best friend. I think twins just kind of automatically become best friends when they are born. And now that my brother and I are older I feel like our friendship has grown. At 13 I would have never said that :)

Good Old Debs. I call her my best friend. Wait didn't I just call my hubby and sister my BFF?

Yes, I'm 44 and I still use that expression. I'm a creature of habit. Look, I'm dripping water on her and she still smiling for my picture.

Caroline and Dennis. My trail BFF's. I'm starting to notice I throw Best Friend around a lot.

My bed. Well, that's not my bed. My bed's not made right now so you have settle for looking at this one.

Ah, cinnamon tea, there's no better morning best friend.

I am a time obsessed person. I could never live without this watch. The indaglo helps me check the time at night cause I can't see the alarm clock. So, it stands to reason, there is no better night time best friend! Well, for telling time.

My Enemies .....

Let's be honest. Is there anyone out there that thinks this is there friend?

Actually, this is only my enemy on a bad day running, swimming, cycling, during a sleepless night, or if I'm running late for something, which is usually everyday.

Yes, when I'm swimming in Lake Michigan, sometimes the waves do feel this big. This picture makes me want to learn how to surf. :)

In case you were wondering, that's a picture of wind. Well, wheat blowing in the wind. This is probably one of my worst enemies. It keeps me up at night, cause it scares the kids and it has made for some very difficult rides.

It's sad to say but this is one of my biggest enemies. I think this is why I hate my first enemy so much. But you know that line from the Godfather.... "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer". Well, that's what I'm doing with this enemy. :)

So what's the point of all this?

Well, I'm not sure. I couldn't sleep the other night. And I started thinking .... you know what never mind what I was thinking. Life is good.

Sunday Trot / I'm Cheating on You

2008-11-10T14:11:00.015-06:00

We met at Swallow Cliff on Sunday morning.

I didn't keeping up with the big boys and girls. I trotted out 5.25 miles with Dennis and Tom. Tom kept going since he was feeling good. It was nice having Bubba hang back and catch up on things.

I was so happy to see our group out there. I haven't seen Gil for weeks and Dennis, jeez, honestly I can't remember the last time I saw him. And even Tom showed. I haven't talked about him for a long, long, long time. But last week-end he started riding and running again. And he was there again this week.

The only ones missing were Doug and Scott and it would have been just like the good old days. It was so good seeing everyone smiling, running, talking, laughing. I really am a mother hen if something like seeing them out there makes me so happy.

So, Sunday afternoon I get an email message from a relative. Something about a Facebook message. I ignore it cause I have no idea what Facebook is. Later that night I get another message from a friend from high school, about Facebook. This time I click the link from the message thinking if I just sign it then I'll be left alone.

Well, I felt like I opened the can of trick worms that pops out at you. I find out that all these people that I know write on Facebook. I'm thinking holy cow, how did this just happen and where did this come from.

I feel like by signing on to Facebook I'm cheating on my blog. Yes, I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous.

So, I guess between sharing my life with my husband, raising my children, hanging with the girls, training with my trimates and writing this blog, I will also check Facebook and see what the rest of the world is up too.

My Vote, Strep Throat & Are We Watching a Football Game or the Election?

2008-11-05T11:21:00.034-06:00

Woke up Tuesday and was prepared to go and vote. I had made my decision Sunday night. I stopped watching the news and reading the internet. I didn't want to hear anymore.

Around 11 I went to the school and was so nervous after showing my identification I walked to the voting booth without my ballot. The volunteers got a good laugh. Once I did have my card I literally stood there for a couple of minutes because I had worked myself up to the point that I wasn't sure how to vote. Ok, I'm sure some of you are thinking, give me a break, if you knew who to vote for then how could you do this to yourself? Well, that's just the way I am for some reason. I finally got my wits about me and looked on the ballot and much to my surprise saw Ralph Nader's name on it. Holy smokes, is he still alive? Then I proceeded with my civic duty and walked out feeling complete relief and a sore throat.

Last night my throat was on fire so I decided to visit a doc in the box. Which I hate, so you know the throat was hurting pretty bad. The doc took a swab from the back of my throat and gagged me a couple of times. Sure enough, I tested positive for Strep. UGH! Gotta tell you the pharmacists at CVS were so nice. The filled my prescriptions ASAP. I think I was in and out of there in 10 minutes.

Watched election coverage with Scott until about 9:30 p.m. I felt like I was watching a close football game. Obama's electoral votes would increase then McCain's electoral votes would creep up. We had ABC on and they weren't saying that Obama had won but they sure acted like it. Scott was so nervous. He said he couldn't go to bed until he knew the outcome. So I told him to switch to FOX, their attitude toward the race would definitely let us know if Scott could relax and go to bed. Well, they were even saying is wasn't looking good for McCain. Scott kissed me good night and went to bed. Nothing was really happening with the news now so I switched to House for a little while and was ticked off when I realized I missed John McCain's concession speech. I did stay up for Barack Obama's acceptance speech and was glad I did. He kept it real. I hate when people say that, "keep it real" can be so flippant but there is no other way to describe that speech, he really did keep it real. I heard McCain's speech this morning, it was very moving and sincere. I do feel I need to rebut my comment about the character of both men. Last night they seemed to have our countries best interest at heart.

So this morning I wake up and Zak has a fever and swollen glads. He's home from school with me. I call the doc and he's nice enough to write him a prescription since he saw Gracie Monday and I told him I was diagnosed yesterday with Strep. Excitedly I tell Zak we don't have to drive out to see the doctor and what does he do? He starts crying, telling me he loves the doctor and really wanted to see him today. I tried not to laugh when he was crying. Parenting is hard, Gracie doesn't want to see the man in the blue coat and Zak can't wait to see him. Double UGH! (and the picture to the left is not our doctor just a model in a blue lab coat. I like putting pics on the blog :))

Now, I'm warning all of my friends and anyone else reading. I have been feeling this well of emotions building. This entire process has really affected me. I can't remember an election when I spent the time and energy checking each candidates views. I'm a very emotional person and the emotions have not come out yet. I know it's coming so, if I suddenly start crying when you are talking to me or if you see me pumping gas or on my bike and I have the ugly cry face, just ignore it. I'm ok. Oh, and they are tears of joy not sadness, just in case you were wondering.

The "P" Word

2008-11-02T19:44:00.020-06:00

"P" is for Politics

The 2008 presidential race has been keeping me up at night - probably for the past 3 weeks. I lost the count of the number after about 7 nights of waking at about 2 in morning.

Literally my mind is going back and forth. I put a spread sheet together hoping is would help me reach a conclusion. I'm still reading it and rereading it.

The last time I felt this way was when Ross Perot was running in the presidential primary. I ended up voting for him. Its funny because when I tell people that, they say they voted for him too. I wonder how he lost?I probably wouldn't be having trouble deciding today if he would have won back then.

While running with the gang on Sunday the election was brought up. It's funny. We all have an opinion but no one really wants to talk about it. Maybe it has more to do with respecting one another opinion than not wanting talk about it.

There is one conclusion I can make about this election. All of the conspiracy theories, mud slinging, and back stabbing from both candidates reminds me of 5th grade when the kids from the south school had to come to my school for the year because their school was being renovated. In the beginning we called each other names, called each other's mother's names, wrote slurs on the bathroom walls, and so on .... but by the end of the year we all got a long. We were 11 tho, that's a pretty good excuse for acting the way we did. Unfortunately these are grown men, who have to be at least 45 years old to run for president. So what does that say about their character?

My mind is so cluttered because instead of sticking to the facts I had to put up with so much smack talk it made it hard to keep the real issues in focus. I watched the debates and instead of hearing answers to the questions I heard rehearsed rhetoric. Why bother with debates if you're going to rehearse them. Did our country make so hard for these men to keep it real? UGH!!!

I will vote Tuesday. My vote will, if not to anyone else than to myself. Hopefully I'll start sleeping again Tuesday night.

Pretty Lily

2008-10-26T11:46:00.004-06:00

Scott checked on the bunnies this morning.

Our pretty Lily is gone.

It appears to us she died while giving birth.

Zak is so sad. I know there is no way to comfort him other than just being there.

Gracie wrote him and Lily a note -

"I feel sad for you Lily and Zak"

And life goes on.

Love / Hate

2008-10-20T11:24:00.009-05:00

All relationships have a love/hate factor.

I've been married for 22 years. My husband, who I love a little more each day, wouldn't deny that we have had our bad moments, our hate moments. We both agree if it weren't for what we learned from the bad times we would never have the good times.

I ran on Saturday afternoon. Only 4 miles. I was busy with stuff around the house but finally got my butt out there. It was a beautiful day. I was able to put my mind in a place that made the running easy. When I got home I was surprised the miles passed without me looking at my watch or thinking about how slow I was moving. It was a good feeling. Sunday I rode. I met up with Rick and Ken. It was really good seeing them. I was a little nervous getting out there with Ken leading. He insisted he was riding like himself but still managed to move very quickly. Once I found my rhythm, the groups rhythm didn't matter. I was really happy to be out there. Even with the wind and cold. Brrrrrrr, it was cold.

A couple of weeks ago I read Megan's blog. She wrote how her blog is more like an open diary for all to read. She beat me to it, describing blogging that way. I love writing this blog and I learn a lot from going back and reading it. I must admit though that it takes me forever to write a post. I write it, publish it then go back and edit it after I've thought about it a couple of hours later. I've changed this post twice already.

But I think I see the love/hate thing with my swimming, biking and running this year. I've complained a lot about my performance. After reading some of the post I'm surprised some of you have come back to see what I was complaining about for the next week. This year was filled with seething over my run at McNaughton, minor aches and pains, bad weather and being two pedal strokes back with my cycling. I got so busy with complaining that I lost the joy of just getting out there. There was the occasional glimpse of clarity and enjoyment but not enough to get me out there regularly. I let my expectation of what this year should have been take over what I could actually do. Wow, I didn't have to pay a therapist to come up with that one.

So, it's time to just enjoy. Enjoy the cold air that hit my face on Sunday. Enjoy the changing colors of the season. Enjoy the company that I get to ride, run and swim with and enjoy the solitude of being out there on my own. It's time that I learn and start to trust what I know and take each day as it comes and leave my expectations on a shelf for a while. It's time for me to fall in love again, with just moving.

Chicago Marathon 2008

2008-10-12T18:12:00.050-05:00

I volunteered for the Chicago Marathon today. I love this race. My only complaint is how the race has grown. Last year was a perfect example of how difficult it is to manage an enormous crowd. Thankfully Carey Pinkowski learned from last years mistakes and the race appeared to go very well.

For those who have never been to Chicago, (I know, I'm actually thinking someone I don't know is reading this blog :)) running the marathon would be a great way to see our city.

Congratulations to everyone who ran. It got pretty tough out there with all that fall sunshine beaming down on you but everyone proved they prepared themselves for whatever the day put in front of them.

Here are some pics of my great day .....

The clock reads 6:15. Caroline and I got down to North and Wells around 5:45. It took us a while to find street parking. You didn't think I was going to pay $10 did you? :)

While checking in we received our credentials. See that yellow dot. It means I got to work the Gartorade stations. O yeah! Me and my kids are gatorade experts. This was going to be fun!

We also got these very nice dry fit hats and also dry fit jackets. Unfortunately they only had large and x-large left in the jackets so I took x-large. I ended up giving my jacket to a very nice older gentleman who helped me put cups out and mix Gatorade when things got crazy busy. You would have thought I gave him the winning lottery numbers. He introduced me to his family and kept hugging me. It was pretty funny.

We walked down to Starbucks since I hadn't had my tea yet and then found a table and got to work.
It took us about and hour and a half to get the table from empty this to this....

See the boxes in front of the table? Caroline and I needed them to reach the 5th row of cups we made.

Soon it was 8:00 and all my friends who spent the last 18 weeks training began the final leg of their marathon journey. I was hoping I would see them but knew it probably wouldn't happen since I told everyone I would be near the O'Brien's sign and I was on the opposite side of the street. I was very excited to see Tom F.! I kept screamming at him as he ran by with a smile!

The guy on the left is from the Weather Channel. Wow, the race is making the Weather Channel!

The guy on the right is the captain of our aid station. He ran thru a list of what to do's and don'ts.

Here is the leader in the wheelchair division.

And this man to the right pushed himself with his legs. Very inspiring.

And then the professionals came. Making each step look like they were out for a morning jog. First came the men ....

and then the women ....

Our gatorade station closed right around 11:15. For as long as it took us to put everything up, what ever was left was taken down in a matter of seconds ....

And cleaned up in a matter of minutes. On the way home we laughed about how sticky we were from all the Gatorade that we either mixed on us, spilled on us, spit on us, and bounced off us. I guess that was a sign that we had done our job.

Now, do I run next year or volunteer?

Mind - Body

2008-10-03T19:55:00.006-05:00

I've been thinking. Ut oh, I know. Hey, if I can't disect this years race season, then I might have more of the crappy same next year ....

April 2008

My Mind- Ok, let's go, we're running 50 miles. Oh yeah, ignore the rain, ignore the mud let's go, go, go, go, GO!!!

My Body - What are you crazy, I'm tired. TIRED!!! Tried telling that a couple weeks ago, remember? You caught that cold, the stuffy head, all that sleep. I miss the sleep. I'm not running. Nope, the legs aren't going.

Mind - What? Yeah, right. Here we go. Get over the tired. These legs have been training for weeks. Before that, I witnessed them attempt a marathon.....

Body - Yeah, and what happened at that marathon? Huh? Can't hear you? Tried telling you then I needed a rest ..... and ....

Mind - Lighten up. And quit trying to make your point by falling. I'm getting a little tired of saying get out of the mud.

Body - TIRED!!! I'm gonna keep falling until you listen!!!

May 2008

Body - Ah, finally a rest. Thank you - THANK YOU for listening.

Mind - You're right this isn't so bad, I'm really dig'n this time off. :)

June 2008

Mind - Ok, gotta race it's only a half ironman. Let's go, let's go, let's go

Body - What? We were resting remember, we're not ready, what it's a frick'n tornado out there, I'm not going anywhere ....

Mind - ENOUGH, get the legs moving, the horn just went off .....

Mind - Oops, maybe this wasn't such a good idea, the weather isn't being too kind to us. You just keep moving body and I'll stay as still as possible.

Mid - June 2008

Mind - There are you happy body. Gotcha a new bike. Now quit complaining. Get that big butt on it and start peddling.

August 2008

Body - Thank you for the rest - ahhh. No more surprises please. And keep drinking that ginger root stuff. It's helping.

Late August 2008

Body - A 100 mile bike ride - are you crazy?

Mind - Just peddle - you can do this.

September 2008

Body - A half marathon? Ok, I've had enough. ENOUGH!

October 2008

I went riding with Laura on Thursday. About 2 blocks from my house I realized my cold was going to make me feeling like I had an elephant riding along with me, hanging onto my chest. Met Laura downtown and let her know how I was feeling. Told her I wasn't sure how long I would be able to ride. Off we went. So, did I take it easy? Hang back, enjoy her company? Nope. I pounded. Head down, heals back, toes forward. We stopped and she commented that the way I was riding she wouldn't have guessed I had that elephant with me. And right then I realized it. It really is time to rest. I'm never going to make it to that start line in August 2009 if I keep doing this to myself.

Ok body - I hear. I'm gonna rest.

100th Post :)

2008-09-28T14:41:00.005-05:00

Monday - September 22nd

We finally got a second car. Whoo Hoo!!! Oh yeah!!! Not that I'm going to be driving all that much with gas prices being what they are - but it's nice to have my car back. This cute, little, fuel efficient Honda is getting Scott whereever he wants to go. I was very disappointed with the chauvinistic attitude of the car dealer - when I bought the car I was asked by both the salesman and the sales manager if I wanted my name on the title - hmmmm, let me think about this.... I've delt with the sales people for the past 6 weeks, test drove the car and am signing the check, that has my name on it - what do you think? Here's a picture of the car - YEAH!!!

Tuesday - September 23rd

Zak was sick Sunday night and Monday. High fever, 104 Sunday night. Said his legs and belly hurt. Monday he felt a little better but I kept him home from school. Tuesday he woke up with no fever and no complaints. He downed 2 cups of milk in record time - a sign he's feeling better. :) I put him and Gracie on the bus, wave good bye. 9 a.m. - the phone rings, "This is the school nurse - Zak threw up on the bus. Mrs. E. Zak told me he got sick this morning?" I had to try and explain that while brushing his teeth he did gag a little something up (sorry another gross post) but I wrote it off because he downed his milk so quickly and then brushed his teeth. Yes, the rest of the day I tortured myself with the label "Worst Mother in the World". I'm still having trouble getting the looks I got from the school office staff out of my head. ARGH!

Wednesday - September 24th

Was talking to Debs while taking care of the morning clean up around the house. Went outside to give the bunnies their morning bannana and fresh water. Poor Debs was telling me something about something and was rudely interrupted by my huge, dramatic GASP .... I couldn't believe what I saw. I approached the bunnies and found them both on the same side of the cage! These bunnies have lived in the cage for several years, apart, never finding the small space between the seperation at the bottom of the cage, until sometime during the evening of 9/23 or during the early morning of 9/24. I can only speculate what went on during their new found time together. Let me add that there was shedding fur EVERYWHERE and I have a feeling some baby bunnies are going to be joining our family soon.

Jogged a mile to the school, swam a mile and then jogged home. The swim felt good.

Thursday - September 25th

Laura and I rode again. This time Michelle came with us. It was a beautiful morning. The trees are starting to turn and the weather was perfect. We saw tri-mate Rich on his way back to town. Stopped by Michelle's house on my way home and saw her new bathroom. Nice. So nice. Makes me want a new bathroom too. :)

Friday - September 26th

Did the same thing I did Wednesday, this time I tried to get the jog, swim, jog in under and hour. I missed my mark by 9 minutes. I'll get there.

My nephews played in their high school home coming game. I love high school football. Where else can you take the family for a fun filled night and keep the cost under $20 bucks. Ok, so I get in for free and so do the kids. Only the hubby paid. We then pigged out on concession stand food. MMMMM. Nachos, cheese fries, Mountain Dew and Siera Mist - mmmm, stayed away from the popcorn tho, it tastes a lot like cardboard with a little salt. We sat by some trimates who were enjoying the food as much as we were. Needless to say we didn't cook dinner Friday night. Sadly the boys lost their game. It was a good one tho. They kept it close until the 4th quarter.

Saturday - September 27th

I ran in the the afternoon. Ran for 60 whole minutes. Yes Bubba, you read that right, 60 minutes in the sun - I think I'm cured of the pamitis.

Scott fixed the space between the partition at the bottom of the cage. He zipp tied it shut. No more quiet bunny time for Buttercup and Lily. :(

Saturday night was much like Friday night. Scott had his football homecoming. It's such a big deal for all the kids playing and the parents. Scott's team lost. My coach is doing ok but I know he's feeling some disappointment. The team will get it together. Heck - they won 2 games so far, that's good. :)

Warning - I'm about to complain .... again ....

Sunday - September 28th

Planned on riding with the group in the morning. Woke up to eyes gooed shut and a fever.

Whaw, whaw, whaw.

Thought the whining was over but apparently what ever is going on with my gooey eyes and now sinuses wants to hang with me a while. So Bubba - I was wrong, I'm not completely cured of the pamitis but I'm slowly recovering and doing my best to get a workout routine going again. :) I'll see all of you out there very soon.

If You're Eating - Do Not Read

2008-09-22T13:19:00.007-05:00

Training has been rolling right along.

Went for a ride with Laura Thursday morning. The conversation was great. Helped distract our attention away from the fact that the wind had change direction and we had a head wind the entire ride home. We stopped and picked up 2 furry catapillars for the kids. One blond and one brown. Made it home in time to get a couple loads of laundry done before the kids got home. Grace and Zak were so excited to see the new editions to the family. We walked to the park for a couple of hours of play and the brown fuzzy one escaped the bug catcher leaving the blond one by himself. By 10 the next morning the blond one was gone too. I think we need a more secure (grammer?) bug catcher.

That night was feeling some pressure on my right eye with a little drainage but didn't think much of it considering the allergy season we are in.

Friday rode the bike to the school to help out with hot lunches. The right eye was really bothering me now. So much so that I didn't put a contact lens in. By the time I got to my nephews football game it was oozing. Won't go into details but it was pretty gross. It looked like I had been drinking and was up all night. It hurt.

Saturday morning I tried opening my eyes but couldn't get the right one open. After keeping a warm wet wash rag on it for about 10 minutes it finally came apart. Saw a doc in the box (I hate going there) and was told I have an eye infection. Gee - wow - that was a difficult conclusion to come to. Kept my sunglasses on for the kids birthday party we went to and tried not to touch anything. Had to wipe my eye about every 20 minutes. ICK! Planned on riding Sunday only to wake up and have the other eye swollen and gooed shut! Was disappointed, chose not to ride.

Today is Monday and things are feeling better. Plan on getting back to the training plan soon.

Misc. Stuff

2008-09-16T13:30:00.021-05:00

Did you ever start talking to someone and then half way thru the conversation you realize you aren't listening to what they are saying anymore? Holy smokes that happened to me last week. Someone was telling me something important but the way the conversation started took me by surprise and then I realized the person was speaking and I was still on the first sentence of what was said. I had to try and catch up and hoped I got the gist of the conversation before it's over. Keri and I have a funny story about this very thing, I still laugh when I think about it.

The copious amount of rain (I like that word, copious) cancelled Scott's game Saturday and kept the kids in the house. I usually don't mind letting the kids outside to play in rain but Gracie is fighting an ear infection and has had trouble breathing so I thought I should keep her and Zak in. The creek behind our house almost crested but thankfully stayed at bay. What is the attraction of rain puddles and children? They are a magnet to any child under the age of 10. Going from the church parking lot to the car Sunday Zak stomped every puddle. I didn't tell him to stay out of them - why bother - we were getting pelted so what would a little extra water on is shoes do?

I woke up to this note from the hubby last week. Ok, I know he has the distances wrong (if you can read it) but that's ok. I still don't know all the positions on a football team. I've been jogging to the new high school near the house and getting a mile swim in. I got a ride in the other day, to the kids school. It was treat day and I volunteered. It was raining but didn't think that I would get that wet riding the 2 miles. I got off my bike and felt pretty good about getting to the school in the rain. Put my shoes on and walked in the school. Signed in. Smiled politely at the other moms. Thought they were checking out my new Anne Klein shoes that I got for $10 and then realized that the back inside of my left pant leg was soaked! It looked like I peed in my pants! Had to hope that they saw me riding in the rain because I really didn't feel like trying to explain it. UGH!

Here's some pics I thought I would share with you ....

Look at this large bubble that formed in the sink after draining the dishwater. Zak was very impressed.

That little yellow blob, that's a yellow pepper that came from our garden.

Here's some pics of a storm we had about 6 weeks ago. Finally got around to downloading them. It has been a summer filled with some nasty rain.

IMOO

2008-09-11T16:01:00.004-05:00

The Wisconsin Ironman was Sunday. The thought of the race kept me up Saturday night. I was feel anxious. How strange since I was 300 miles from the start line. My mind was filled with memories of 2007 and how quickly that year went by.

I'm saddened by the changes the year has brought. How the 07 crew is slowly drifting apart. I talked to some of the crew about signing up for Louisville. They told me they would train with me but wouldn't be joining me at the finish line in Kentucky. It's funny, our group all finished at different times but we all knew that the others were out there. And some how that was a comforting thought.

Of course I knew that would happen, some of the guys not signing up, time stops for no one and change is almost always good a thing. So, now I'm part of a new group. This year I have some female friends to commiserate with. I don't dare go down the competitive road with these ladies. They're fast and fierce but as nice as can be. I'll learn what I can from them and leave my competitive spirit in check. :)

So, I'm getting my base training in now since the summer was filled with whining, pouting and not much training at all. I'm debating on which plan to use the 26 week or the 13 week. I'm thinking that if I use the 13 week program, in the my winter and spring I'll marathon train/ then spin and swim a couple of days during the training. It worked last time. Unfortunately I won't have the Boston marathon to run but I'm sure I'll find a 26.2 mile run somewhere around here.

Big congrats to all that finished Louisville and Wisconsin and my trailmates that finished Great Illini! :) You guys rock. You definitely keep me going.

What the Heck?

2008-09-02T09:15:00.001-05:00

What the heck is happening to me? :) Gil sent me an email 2 weeks ago telling me he has an extra entry to the Oak Brook 1/2 Marathon. Do you want it? He asked. Oh yeah, I love to run and would never turn down a free entry.

I haven't done much running this year. Wait did I just say that? Let me rephrase that, I haven't done much running this summer. I've been trying to get my cycling legs back. My race season was a wash after Rockman. But I have to admit I enjoyed the rest. Swimming, biking and running only when you feel like it was all good for me.

Well, I picked Gil up Monday morning, 5:45. He was ready to go. He has the best spirit. We talked about our running plan for the morning. I would be happy finishing around 2 hours. He wants to see how fast he can go.

The race had about 1500 runners. I started feeling guilty (you can't be surprised by that) thinking here I was running for free, literally crawling out of bed to see what the day brought and most of the runners trained all summer for this day. I did hear some talk about their training plans for the marathon just a few weeks from now. I actually missed the training schedule.

Well, my legs missed the training as well. I was tiring by the second mile. YIKES! I brought my music along on this run, so I was able to let Jackson Brown, Bruce Springsteen, Rod Stewart and the rest pick my pace up when I would start to waiver. I managed to keep a 9 minute pace for about 6 miles. This was an awesome race course. Scenic, hilly, shaded in spots, plenty of volunteers to point you in the right direction and lots of police directing traffic.

Unfortunately at mile 6 I began to fall apart. For me, what I'm about to write is almost blasphemy. I'm a runner not a cyclist, you guys are probably tired of reading that but that's the way I think, that is until mile 10. I see this woman riding her bike. The streets were pretty clear thanks to the great police support. She's sailing along. I actually wished I was on my bike instead of running. What's the world coming to?

Here's a great excuse for my poor performance - other than not being conditioned for a long distance run ..... my diet has been filled with lots of crap - just plain old junk food - remember? .... circus peanuts, ice cream, tootsie rolls - I'm still on the comfort food diet since the kids have gone back to school :( I did my best to forge ahead and managed to finish around 2:13 and change :( - How arrogant can I be? It's time to start training again. Start out slow and low, I know 13.1 miles isn't exactly low miles, let's just say it's a long warm up and work my way back. The thought of turning 44 on Thursday makes me wonder just how close to my old times I can come. With age comes wisdom and sluggishness. Let's hope I'm wrong about the sluggishness.

Oh, here's a kick in my pants about my "not much training - so of course I did poorly excuse". So I cross the finish and there's Gil smiling as usual. "How d ya do?" and he tells me with this huge grin - "GREAT" 1:38 and change! AMAZING! No serious running plan and he spits out 7:29 miles. And, I can't use the age excuse - he's older than me (Sorry Gil) not much older tho. Ok, now I'm sticking to the diet theory. No more circus peanuts - I'll miss them and NO ice cream, well maybe a scoop or 2 with my birthday cake.

Louisville, I'm com'n. It's going to be an interesting year. :)

Ginger Root Tea

2008-08-28T19:58:00.004-05:00

I've been dealing with aches and pains all summer. Nothing serious (I dont' think) but enough to nag the crap out of me and to keep me away from training. Blah, blah, blah, wha, wha, wha.

So, I was running a couple of weeks back with Jane. A trimate of mine who I have a lot of respect for. She's very modest and full of great training stories. So I'm complaining while we were running and she suggests that I try some Ginger Root Tea. "Just slice a couple of pieces from a ginger root and a 1/4 teaspoon of temarac (?spelling) to 16 ounces of water. Slow boil for a while and drink." I blew it off but was feeling some discomfort this week from the long ride so thought I would try it. Well, I drank it yesterday and today and I'm feeling relief. Not sure if it's all in my head but have to say I'm not hobbling around or wincing anymore.

If you're gonna try it make sure you drink it while it's hot. I let cool a bit this morning and let's just say drink it while it's hot. :)

100 Miles

2008-08-26T10:01:00.014-05:00

Did the Psycho Century ride on Sunday.

Why?

Because I was asked if I was going to.
I wanted to see if I could.
I liked the ride from last year, thought it was easy (what a difference a year makes.)

Sunday was a beautiful day. Cool in the morning. Probably mid 60's. No wind. Some cloud coverage and sunshine. Paid my way and off we went.

Felt good the first 30 miles. Really good. Hey, what do ya know. I haven't lost it after all. Did experience trouble on a hill but made it up and got to the 2nd sag stop with plenty of energy.

Was disappointed to learn someone had stepped on a trimates tire and broke his spoke. He was done for the day. He seemed ok with it. I would have been furious and looking for the person that did it. 2 other trimates drove with him so they headed back to the start. That left me, SI and Nick to finish 70 miles.

The next 18 were uneventful. Started feeling a little tired but was ok. Bob Seger's The Fire Inside was playing over and over in my head. It helped pass the miles. The pace seemed to pick up a little. SI assured me we wouldn't pound and I believed him.

48 miles down and we stopped at the next sag stop. Was feeling shaking so I ate some pasta and drank some gatorade. Checked my front brake it was rubbing just a bit. Nick made an adjustment and told me not to use it. :) Off we went.

The next 20 miles were torture. Sounds a little dramatic huh? What was I doing out here? I kept asking myself. What was I thinking? This ride seemed a lot harder this year. Hmmm. Could it have been the ridiculous amount of riding I did that made it seem so easy last year?

I was about a block back from the guys when I noticed they had stopped. I knew we were only about a mile and half from the sag stop and couldn't figure out why they weren't moving. Just before crossing the intersection and reaching them I did notice a white arrow. I slowly passed them and asked what was going on. They weren't sure which was to go. Come on, it's this way I said, I really didn't want to stop knowing the sag was so close. They followed me and sure enough the state park was right there. I hit a pot hole just before turning into the park. I'm done I thought. I was feeling shaking and tired and just not right. "I'm done". I said it out loud. I didn't like the reaction I got. It was something like just eat, you'll be fine. I wanted to hear, ok, hope you feel better, see you back at the car. I really didn't want to go on. Thought I was done for the day but I buckled under the peer pressure and ate and drank and called home. We stopped for probably 15 minutes. I was feeling better.

We checked the map before leaving and I reminded the guys that the crazy hill was coming up. Shouldn't have put it that way. Every time we approached any type of a incline it was referred to that way. Nick told me that for the next couple of weeks I will probably be referred to as the crazy hill lady. :)

The last 30 miles were enjoyable. Good conversation. The scenery was picture perfect. Saw a turkey vulture and was told that it was waiting for me to drop. :) There was a wind farm but the mills weren't moving. Lots of cows, unfortunately I missed the one wading in the pond, I was to busy watching SI's tire while riding the mantra - don't get dropped.

At 99.5 miles the end was not in sight. I whined to my fellow riders that I was stopping at 100. They would have to come and get me because I only signed up for 100 nothing more. They said they were stopping too. :) UGH, they weren't even letting quit when I was supposed to. We ended up with 101.5. And I was really happy I didn't quit. Am I sure I want to sign up for IMKY?

1st Day

2008-08-22T16:34:00.012-05:00

A picture is worth a thousand words ....

What you don't see ....

Me crying once I got in the house.

What you don't hear ....

Silence in my house, so quiet it was scary.

And then, just a few short hours later ....

What you don't see ....

Me smiling

What you don't hear ....

Screaming, hungry children :)

Time

2008-08-11T15:30:00.017-05:00

Could someone explain why time goes slow when ....

You are riding in the wind?

You are swimming in a lake with 3 foot waves smacking you to the shore?

You are sitting on a plane with a screaming baby?

Then could someone explain why time seems to go so fast when ....

You only have 5 hours of sleep, you look at the clock it's 11:30 p.m. - you look again and feels like you just closed your eyes but 4 hours and 58 minutes had just passed.

You're stuck in traffic and have 30 minutes and 10 miles to get to where you need to go, what feels like 10 minutes later turns out to be 40 minutes and you still have 5 miles left. You are now late.

And the point of this whole thing, my kids, how did they get to be 5 so quickly? It's seems like yesterday I woke up and they looked like this....Or they were finding trouble ....

A week from Wednesday they start Kindergarten. They will be gone all day. 8:30 to 2:30. They are even taking the bus. How did the time pass so fast?

Ride

2008-08-04T07:14:00.005-05:00

I woke up at 4:40 Sunday to ride with Bubba. Did not want to get out of bed. Saw Dark Knight on Saturday. That movie kept me thinking all night. I know it's just a movie but I had some questions about what was going and and why. Like the Joker was he schizo or was he tormented by his dad or his wife? Does it matter. Do I feel sorry for him? Yes or I mean no. You get the picture as to why I didn't sleep.

The ride to Monee was perfect. No wind. The sun was coming up. No traffic. We kept a steady pace. Didn't push. Both of us knew the chance to pick things up was coming at 7:30 when we met with the rest of the group. On our way back to Frankfort Caroline rode with us. Like I said the ride was perfect.

Alot of the trimates did the Naperville ride. We had a small group of about 8 riders. This was a fast bunch of guys. Last week they were averaging 22 to 24 mph. Did I say they were fast?

I was going to ride to the track and see how I felt. If things were good then I would keep going. If I was tired, home I would go. Much to my surprise, I felt good. Had to remind myself that I had to get home. But blew that thought off. Whoo Hoo, riding with the big boys - oh yeah, look me at me!!!

SI told me that he was watching me turn corners and gave me some advice on how to do it without slowing down. Thanked him and told him I had a fear of getting dropped. He laughed and said that's the mantra - "don't get dropped".

About 3 miles from Elwood turned a corner and was hit by a pretty steep incline. Pat said it wasn't really a hill so I won't call it that. My legs and hips decided they weren't going to help me in anyway getting up it. Slowly watched my trimates pass me by. UGH! Strangely enough I didn't let it get in my head. I was so happy with my ride that this was just a bump in the road :).

Got to Elwood and stopped at the local BP. Ate a Powerbar and got some icy cold blue gatorade. MMMMM :) :) Ken and I headed out first. I'm really excited for him. He's riding a 7 day mountain bike ride next Sunday. He's been training since last fall. He's so prepared from his training, his nutrition, everything. He's extremely modest about the entire adventure. He's going to do great.

Dropped back from Ken and rode the mantra. Don't get dropped. Don't get dropped. Don't get dropped.

With that Pat pulls up to me and says. "Ok, there they are. There's the dogs. Oh, they look ok. Oh no, ride fast, ride fast here they come. I looked over and saw a black blur and a a brown dog starting to run. I know I dropped the f bomb. I put my head down. My hips and legs were screaming - "we can't go fast! stop, it hurts!" But my brain was saying, "HURTS? Nothing hurts like getting pushed off your bike and being bit - keep riding - go, GO!" I look forward and see Ken and he's laughing. All I can say is DOG. I'm panting and Ken's laughing. And then someone says they're still chasing us! What! Then I hear, No just kidding :)

Stayed with the gang for the next 10 miles. Feeling good. Smiling. Bubba is thrilled because one of the riders did the Western States. I hear him tell Caroline. Then Pat. Then me. He's got a huge smile on his face.

We are about 7 miles from home and the group breaks away. It's ok. I'm happy. Really happy with how I did. Caroline heads home and Bubba and ride into Frankfort together. I got 71.56 miles in. Bubba wants 80 so he keeps going.

I end up at church, in my bike clothes just in time. Father Greg asked the congregation "What makes you happy?" My husband, children, family and friends and this mornings bike ride :)